Okay.. I know that this has been discussed, bitched and blabbered on all corners of the net, but I'm seriously trying to develop a good picture as to the current state of online console gaming.

Currently, I think it's pretty much agreed that Microsoft has their heart in the right place when it comes to providing gamers with the kind of online community that they deserve. However, this is a catch 22: The drawback lies in the exact reason the formula is successful - Giving anyone with a subscription and a headset the ability to talk and chat invariably leads to the rise of the 13 year-old twat whose parents are obviously unconcerned with their pre-pubescent shitspawn hurling verbal abuse in high-pitched voices whilst playing M-rated games such as Gears of War. If Microsoft wants to change this, they need to implement a new system for categorizing gamers by AGE GROUP. The problem here is obvious: Lack of Moderation. This leads to our next case...

Nintendo's charismatic spokesperson, Reggie Fils-Aimee has stated that Nintendo is "serious" about online gaming. So loyal fans such as myself bought a Wii, confident that Nintendo had a plan to make gaming online a great social experience that would further enhance their software...

So we waited..... and waited.... Then we got Friend Codes. Ah yes, so this was Nintendo's ingenious way of connecting millions of gamers around the world - By exchanging 16-digit codes that need to be entered by both parties, assuring that the only people you are connected with are people you know personally. Okay, well at least as soon as I enter all of my buddies' Friend Codes, I'll be set for all of Nintendo's great multiplayer games!

WRONG!

As much as I love the game, my initial experience trying to play Brawl multiplayer with my buddies would have been ruined if it weren't for Skype. In addition to that, let's take a look at the 'With Anyone' multiplayer modes: No names, no leaderboards... nothing. It's also been stated by the game's creators that leaderboards would "ruin" the game... It's all a bi-product of this running obsession with "casual gaming" (which I'm pretty sure is a bullshit term that didn't even exist until 2 years ago). If Nintendo thinks that people will be so opposed to competition and leaderboards, make a feature that disables it! But since Nintendo has taken the "laissez faire" jack-shit approach to their online multiplayer, such a change is highly unlikely.

Then there's the actual "chat" which further castrates the communication aspect of online gaming. Case in point: Mario Kart Wii will feature pre-determined sayings as a way to "chat" with other players - But this makes no fucking sense since the people you are playing with are the exact same people you've exchanged friend codes with in the first place. So Nintendo is effectively deciding that parents cant be trusted to moderate their own children's video gaming and cutting them out of the picture altogether. The entire experience winds up being the equivalent of walking into a room with 3 other blind-deaf-mutes and playing Poker. And speaking of Poker, every online Poker game I've ever seen has a chatbox. So to sum it up, Nintendo needs to shit or get off the pot. Don't claim that you're "serious about online gaming" if you're just going to pull this Kindergarten, G-rated bullocks that keeps younger gamers "safe" while at the same time penalizes gamers that are actually adults.

I haven't played PS3 Online, but from what I understand it's more similar to Xbox Live and supposedly will soon operate in a virtual world similar to Second Life. So here's my question: We're in the year 2008 - What kind of hope is there for Online Console Gaming when it's a choice between Giant Internet Penis Contests and Kindergarten Play-time? What sort of things need to change for console gaming to *really* enter the 21st Century?