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About Me


Oh, hi there. My name's Zen.
I make stuff using pixels, Game Boys and ancient spirit magick. I like to write about videogames, art, airships, bleeps, bloops and other swell things. I think we're going to get along just fine.

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Name: Zen
Level: 25
Job Class: Journalist / Musician
Location: Broke-LAN, New York City
Abilities: Exploding high-fives, web programming, resistance to the growth of facial hair
Weapons: Game Boy, laptop
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This is me.


This is my Game Boy.


This is my friend, Martin. He's a pretty neat guy.

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Game Boy Thieves: The Terrible & Ironic Tale of How I Got Mugged
Zen Albatross | 3:32 PM on 02.26.2009 33 comments




Plenty of you may have already heard about this via Twitter, but I thought I should post here anyway in order to share all of the hilarious & depressing details of the wacky, ironic misadventure I had this afternoon.

As many of you know, I write music on the Game Boy using a wonderful program called Little Sound DJ (commonly known as LSDJ). LSDJ is a cartridge that turns the Game Boy into an audio sequencer and live performance tool using the GB's 8-bit soundchip. When you write music on LSDJ, all of the data is saved to the cartridge, and the only way of backing up or transferring that data is with a special Transfer Tool that's even harder to find than the cartridge itself. A friend of mine from Cincinnati recently came across a Game Boy Transferer, and sent it to me in the mail so that I could backup my music data. Great!



My buddy contacts me to let me know that the package was delivered. Unfortunately, the postal workers in my neighborhood are borderline-retarded, so instead I'm told that the package is waiting for me at the post office. Fine. I'll just walk to the post office after I get out of my meeting today. I pass by my apartment door on the way to the post office, considering if I should drop my bag off before I go. I decide against it. "It will only take 5 minutes, and it's only 2 PM," I think to myself.

So here I am on my way to get the Transferer, which will finally allow me to backup my Game Boy data. It will be a relief, since I'll no longer have to worry about my cartridge data corrupting/erasing. Suddenly, I feel body weight pressing onto my back and the next moment, I'm on the floor. Two gentlemen are pinning me to the ground and one takes my messenger bag. The other one punches me in the face (a wimpy-ass punch, I might add) and then both men flee. I don't see either of their faces. Shit, that sucked. At least nothing of value was in my bag. Then a cold dagger of realization stabs me in the gut -- My Game Boy *and* my copy of LSDJ were in that bag ...and all of the save data for my music was on that LSDJ cartridge - The data I was JUST about to back-up using the thing I was GETTING from the post office!

But that's not even the best part. Just wait until you read the Atlas-Is-Fontaine-Twist Ending:

I call the cops. They show up and can't do anything, obviously. The perps are long gone, and it wouldn't matter anyway because I never saw their faces -- "Two black guys, about 6 ft tall" is probably not the most helpful description for the cops in Bed-Stuy. Defeated, I give up on my journey to the post office and walk home. I'll get the package tomorrow when I have someone to walk with me, preferably someone who carries a weapon.

FINALE:

I walk in the door and go up to my room... Take a motherfucking GUESS as to what is lying on my motherfucking bed! That's right -- THE GODDAMN PACKAGE CONTAINING THE TRANSFER TOOL! I swear to Christ, it's like someone scripted this shit.

So now all of my data is lost, as well as my Game Boy and LSDJ catridge, and this ALL could have been avoided if I had just chosen to walk in the door to my apartment! I would have seen that damn package, not gotten mugged, and had myself a nice LSDJ backup party whilst sipping raspberry ginger ale. Goddamn it.

There is an upside to this story however: Fortunately for me, my buddy from Cincinnati sent me not only the transfer tool, but an extra Flash cartridge as well. That means that despite my old data being lost, I can at least flash a ROM of LSDJ onto the cart and continue to make music in the interim.

So that's the whole long story. Looking at all of this in retrospect, I'm now sitting in my chair, chortling rather heartily as I type this. I hope it gave you a laugh as well. I'd like to thank my parents and the Internet for giving me a sense of humor -- Without it, I'd be a lot worse off in situations like this. Thanks for reading!

=Zen



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31 comments | showing # 1 to 31
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Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 17:07
Samit Sarkar
Damn, son. Glad to hear that you're okay ... stay safe over there in Brooklyn!
Zombutler's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 17:20
Zombutler
LOL That's hilarious...you should have told the cops to look for two men in an alley orchestrating chiptunes
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 17:26
Hamza CTZ Aziz
This sucks so much :(
BakaTanuki's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 17:34
BakaTanuki
Yeah, read this on Twitter. Really stinks to lose the data, man, but at least you are okay.
Tino's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 17:35
Tino
Ugh dude, that SUCKS.

It wasn't the one I gave to you was it?!
Topher Cantler's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 17:40
Topher Cantler
I cried a little and then I choked on it because I lol'd, and then I cried again. Shit sucks man, I'm sorry to hear that. :(
Puppy Licks's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 17:46
Puppy Licks
Dude that sucks so much balls. I hope the gameboy explodes and blows the thieves thumbs off.
sickNasty's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 17:52
sickNasty
Damn Crooklyn.

But its good to have a sense of humor about it. At least you didn't get shanked.
RonBurgandy2010's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 17:53
RonBurgandy2010
*gives Zen a hug*
Zen Albatross's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 18:04
Zen Albatross
@Tino: Unfortunately yes, it was the sexy clear GB that you gave me ;_;

She and I had some good times composing music on the Subway.

Also, it just crossed my mind that the guys who mugged me must be PISSED. Here they are, expecting a laptop or some shit, and they get a Game Boy. lulz.
TrailerParkJesus's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 18:15
TrailerParkJesus
Damn that sucks.

Maybe you should hit up some pawn shops in your area just in case your gameboy shows up. Or ask the local pawn shop owners to look out for a gameboy.
iconsam's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 18:19
iconsam
Dude that sucks so hard. :( I would gladly start a Zen Albatross Game Boy recovery fund. Just say the word.
HydroTonix's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 18:29
HydroTonix
That's fucking worstest. This is inspiring.
pedrovay2003's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 18:43
pedrovay2003
Holy crap on a stick...

I'm glad you're okay. You can always replace the Game Boy and the cart, even though it may be hard. :(
casualweaponry's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 19:12
casualweaponry
I have an old-school gameboy that you can have. And I can use my leet electronics skills to mod you a nice one.

We'll get you back on track! I promise! :)
Teta's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 19:18
Teta
So those muggers where expecting something like a DVD player and they only found an old Betamax.
BulletMagnet's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 19:44
BulletMagnet
Sorry to hear about that, man - looking forward to when you're back to making music again. :)
Spelunking raccoon's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 20:05
Spelunking raccoon
fuck that sucks, been mugged myself recently and I know it's the pain of losing stuff that lasts a lot longer than any physical pain.
Ben Perlee's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 20:14
Ben Perlee
I am so pissed for you. You need to become a gamer vigilante. Beat up the dudes who threw a brick into my bedroom and stole my 360. Hunt down the guys who stole your stuff. Become, uh, THE CONTROLLER....or....uh...I dunno, Super Gamer?
ProperlyParanoid's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 20:17
ProperlyParanoid
This sucks =/ I hope the guys who mugged you suffer a long and very painful death.
garison's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 22:07
garison
Aw, poor Zen, I guess the only thing to do here is to go into every black person's house in the world and search for your gameboy.
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 22:20
vexed alex
Eugh. What a downer.I'm so sorry, man.

You know, I've noticed that a lot of people on this site get either mugged or someone breaks into their house...

CONSPIRACY!
peachboy's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 22:22
peachboy
maybe they'll have half a mind to listen to yr beats, google you, find this blog post, and turn out to be weird execs at a Chiptune label and sign you for a multimillion dollar contract.

"you'll be the 8-bit kanye west, kid!"

...but really, sympathies, i know how hard it is to find lsdj as i've been looking for quite some time for my own copy.
Wexx's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/26/2009 22:33
Wexx
:(

Well, I'm glad that I'm not the only one that had a bad day today, but that seriously sucks. Hopefully, redoing all that music isn't too bad :\
atheistium's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/27/2009 01:18
atheistium
At least they didn't butt rape you
Steel Squirrel's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/27/2009 04:22
Steel Squirrel
Man... that is fucking terrible. Losing stuff you've worked hard on is pretty rough. At least you got a crazy story out of it though! If I ever find two 6 foot tall black guys, they are gonna get the stink eye... jay kay, they would kill me, but I'm sorry for your loss.
DR EGG's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/27/2009 22:15
DR EGG
I agree with Atheistium. I hear about all those random butt rapes happening in that Brooklyn place all the time. ALL THE TIME.
JoeCamNet's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/28/2009 16:26
JoeCamNet
Goddamn dude, that sucks.
I have an old Brick Boy sitting here if you need one. It doesn't have any kind of expanded audio output or anything, but it IS a classic GB.
Can you make it to Mahoney's party in April? I can give it to ya then.
Batthink's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/02/2009 09:08
Batthink
Dammit, you are so unlucky. Good thing you are still alive. :O)
KMCC's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2009 14:13
KMCC
Holy shit dude! Sorry to hear all this. Well, at least you took a punch like a man...
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