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Zecahrai's blog

9:13 AM on 03.28.2010

Video Games Raped and Killed my Family.

[Disclaimer: This is a work of JOURNALISM. All contents inside this expose are FACTS and should be taken as such. Ignoring this GENIUS is akin to sharing needles with a drug fiend, because without this testimonial, you will eventually die of aids.]

As a child, I was carefree. I would run through fields of wheat and long grass, yelling and squealing with joy. As I assume all children do in a carefree world.

How unaware I was of the dangers the world had in store for me.

I was first approached outside of the local sporting goods shop. He was suave, this man known as Videogames. His demeanour was relaxed and sure. He walked up to me and with a charming smile said, "Hey kid, how would you like to be part of the next big thing?"
Naturally I was curious, as all small children would be. The thought of something new and wonderful made me positively preen with enthusiasm. Was it a new football game? Some kind of test of strength or physical prowess? My youthful muscles quivered.
"Golly sir," I replied with no reserve, "Would I!" His smile was assuring as he led me towards a place he called "The Arcade".

My eyes widened at what I saw.
Everything was so bright! Lights flashed on and off like a schoolyard strobe, strange noises filled every corner. It was unlike anything I had ever seen. I attacked with a fervour I had never known before. I rode motorbikes, I danced to a revolution! I got really mad on the streets. I spent all my hoop ball money there that afternoon, regretting none of it. When I had finally worked myself to exhaustion I looked around for the man called Videogames. But he had disappeared.

The weeks that followed were a blur. I soon lost interest in such things as "Physical Exercise" or, "Socialising". I spent every hour I could down at the arcades, becoming more and more entrenched in the lifestyle. A few months after I was just about to rescue a plush bunny with my claw of life when I felt a tap on my back. I jumped and lost my grip.
"Oh, so close!" Videogames said with a smile. I smiled in return, happy that my only true friend had returned. "Videogames!" I cried, shaking his hand vigorously.
"Hey kid," His voice like honey, "I notice you are quite taken by my little hobby." I nodded quickly, my hand slick with my nervous sweat.
Videogames ushered me into the back room where they kept the uncool games. Pool and air hockey mostly. "Listen kid, I've got news." There was suddenly a cigarette in his mouth, the smoke coiling slowly from the tip. He opened his coat and pulled out a medium sized package, passing it to my I gripped it slowly not knowing if I should put much pressure on it.
"This is what they call a console son. It's the latest and greatest and I secured one just for you." He said this all with his trade mark smile, now complimented by his fag. I turned the package over unsure exactly what I was to do with it. I said as much.
He Laughed at my confusion, "You take it home and plug it into your Television set son. Here are a few games to get you started." And he reached into his coat and pulled out a smaller package, this one with knobbly bits. When I looked up from my treasure he was gone. Leaving nothing but a smoke stream.

I ran home as fast as a I could. I had a golden ticket, and I had to let my TV know. Busting through the door, I sprinted to the living room. Eagerly pulling this "console" its packaging with unfeigned lust. It was a white box with shiny bits that I quickly plugged into my Mothers HDTV. The words "POST-MODERN WARFARCE IV: THEFT OF THE DRAGON KARTS" appeared in a splash of dark colours and alluring shapes. I pressed start at the prompt and got to it. I killed, stole, plundered, and started a love affair with home gaming. It was a beautiful thing being able to stay inside in a dark room with a packet of crisps and a litre of cola. I soon moved from the lounge to the basement, my own private command centre of win.

I was on cloud seven. In no time I had graduated to personal computers and internet online game playing. I shunned my peers and got distant on my relatives. My mother was still helpful in feeding me and washing my sweatpants. My siblings tried to get involved, but I didn't want their filthy hands on my precious objects. Dad worked a lot.

So this leads me to the climax and moral of my story. That was rise of my addiction - erosion - and continual failure because of one reason: Videogames.

After what seemed like forever of trying to internet postage Videogames, I finally got a message. He said he was in town and was anxious to catch up. I didn't leave the house anymore so I invited him over excited for him to see how far I had come and the skills I had developed. When the door bell sounded I was at the door in seconds, but Mother still beat me. I arrived to the scene of her hand in his, with his lips gently caressing the back of her dish washer. But of course I thought nothing of my mother's hand pressed tightly to her breast, or the sly smirk on Videogames face. I was thrilled.

"Vids!" my voice was pitched high from lack of use, I paid no mind, "It's so good to see you!" I missed the look of annoyance flash over his face and the way his hand lips lingered. How stupid I was!
"Hey Kid, what's new?"
Seeing her chance, mother untangled herself and backed out of the room saying dinner would be ready soon. So I took the opportunity to show my friend to my pimp pad. He looked impressed and I smiled proudly round the room as he went around touching this and that. I noticed he wasn't talking much and his trademark smirk was missing. I mentioned as much and he said he had just received a bad review, and took it bad. I nodded in understanding, not wanting to push the matter I tried to engage him in a game of PMWIV:TOTDK, but as we sat down mother called out for dinner and Videogames was at the stairs in an instance. "Shouldn't leave a pretty woman waiting." he said. I should have seen it.
The scene was set: Six chairs in clockwise motion; Mother, brother, sister, father, him, and finally me. After grace we all dug into the fare. conversation was polite but reserved, most questions aimed at my friend who reflected them with a masters skill.
I must point out at this time I am an addict of the worst time, even though my friend was in the room with my family I could not stop thinking of my games. After what seemed like an eternity of awkward topics and an unusually frank stare that Videogames was placing on my mother; I excused myself for a toilet break. It was a ruse I used to duck into my warren and get a few more minutes of Planet of Conflictcraft. Time passed and I tore myself away and made my way back to the eating room.

What I saw can never be unseen, and shall forever fuel my need for truth and justice.

The first thing which I saw was Dad with his head caved in, prone in front of the door with a bloody stickball bat lying by his body. His pockets had been turned out and his wallet emptied onto his chest with the money missing.
My brain struggled to process the information I was seeing. How could this be happening? But as I took another step it got much worse. My young brother and sister had been stomped. Unexplainably someone had put some kind of green helmet on their heads and then proceeded to - from what I could discern - jump on their heads. And even stranger were the gold coins lying around their still forms. I was numb. My mind had all but shut off. What I was seeing was too much for my young psyche to take. But what happened next almost broke me.

The man who I had called my friend, now with his coat on the ground revealing a red tank top, a golden crew cut, and a large cigar, had my mother bent over the table, face in the chicken dinner, and he was owning her from behind speaking loudly, "Fuck you, morals!".
I was gutted! My best friend had betrayed me! betrayed my family! I blacked out.

When I awoke the house was quiet. Someone had put me in my computer chair, head on the desk. As I tried to collect my senses I could hear a beeping noise coming from my speakers. Shaking the mouse to take the computer out of standby mode, I saw a pop-up with two words.



And that, my friends, is how my addiction to videogames got rid of all my commitments and made it possible for me to spend all my hours playing games. Addictions are great.   read

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