I met a man named Davis today. He wanted to show me his dick. I said, "No thanks, dude. I'm straight." He looked at me and told me that I didn't know what I was missing. I replied, "I'm pretty sure it ain't much." People are awkward.

I played a round with a guy called Elephantitis once. I asked him why he called himself Elephantitis. He said, "Yo dawg, I got dis huge cock. I want the ladies to know that I'm hung like I got elephantitis." I laughed and reminded him that he's playing Halo, so the only people that are going to see his name and inquire about his medical condition are 12 year old boys, 19 year old asscocks, and people like me. He called me a faggot. People like to advertise their junk on the Internet. If you think I'm wrong, you haven't been using the Internet for very long and should probably go have a lie down now, Grandpa. Oh, and while you're lying down, put me in your will so that I can survive your imminent demise comfortably.

I promise that I won't keep writing blogs about cocks, dickheads, wangs, peen, and other phallus. Maybe next time I'll write about real girl gamers and their blah blah whatever something not cock related. Maybe.