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I met your Mom at a delicate time in her life. She was feeling vulnerable and her self-esteem was low. I had just returned from a humanitarian mission in Africa where I built seven brand new towns out of aids. The only thing that impressed your Mom more than my inhuman strength, Brad Pitt abs and Steven Hawking intellect was the length, girth and prettiness of my immense penis.

She then had a multiple orgasm that lasted 6 weeks. That was before I even touched her. That's how much of a filthy whore your mom really is. I'm not going to tell you anything more because I think it is disrespectful, but I just want to explain one more thing to you - you know how when you listen closely at night you can hear your Dad crying himself to sleep? Now you know why.
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Can't we all just agree to be anti-corporation?
Your Moms Hot Lover | 10:47 AM on 09.27.2009 4 comments


I think it is clear that a lot of us gamers are not happy with the amount of hate that gets thrown around in discussion on gaming forums. A lot of this stems from the fact that people can not seem to seperate the systems they love from the actions of the corporations that make them.

But, aren't we all anti-corporation by now anyway? Isn't that an obvious distinction to make? After twenty years of liberal anti-corporation messages being shoved down our throats and the recent collapse of the capitalist based world economy I would assume everyone, everywhere, who is literate, knows to only expect bad things from corporations. From Nestle to Victoria's Sectet to Activision.

They are a necessary evil in life and we gamers should all be united in our mocking of their institutional stupidity, united in our despair at the decisions that hurt our wallets and gaming dreams and united in joy in the rare occasions they get something right.

This vision of a united gaming community is obviously a pipe dream, but can we ever get to a point where we just don't hate on each other so much and can comment on a blog without dread at reading the replies?

I sigh when I click comment buttons. Seriously.

Now, a lot of people put the flame war blame on 13 year olds whose parents buy all their games for them. I'm not so sure about that. For one, It's often said that ignorance is no excuse, but I think that's harsh. If you aren't in your twenties and out there working with the man, then you don't know much first hand about the way the world works. Sorry, that's just pure truth. To appreciate how fucked up the business world is, you have to live in it for a while. But if you haven't experienced that, it shows in your comments and rather than rail against you, I'll stand quietly at the back and wait until some real points for discussion are made. But, in my experience, real life 13-18 year old gamers are polite, maybe a bit pale and reserved, but they play games. ALL THE TIME. They don't comment on gaming sites much because they are PLAYING GAMES ALL THE TIME. Really. People commenting on gaming sites seem to be mostly dudes (and the occasional dudette) that are stuck at work unable to play games, so they read about them. And some of them defend their corporation of choice with terminal intensity.

Sony. Microsoft. Nintendo. Activision. Ubisoft. Square Enix. Capcom et al. They are big ass corporations. By definition that means they are evil, money grabbing shits that care about nothing except share holder profit. I gurantee that their marketing departments and executive boardrooms are filled with people that would rather drink piss than play games at the weekend. I hate them. All three of them.

You can guess the reasons. Sony - hardware prices, marketing decisions, blu-ray pushing. MS - RROD, add-on costs. Nintendo- shovelware, lack of quality games.

But I still love my consoles. All of them.

We all love the same thing - gaming. We have this major thing in common with each other. And you know what, in some ways we are practically a minority because, for a lot of us, our girlfriends, parents, friends, family etc view our favorite hobby as a childish waste of time. We should be supporting each other and pushing the outside world to have our favorite hobby recognized as something that is more than a mere toy and is worthy of as much creative respect of at very least the latest fucking Michael Bay movie.

I don't know why I'm bothering writing this. It is purely shitting in the wind for all the difference it makes. But you know, it's stopped me from doing MY boring corporate work today.

I guess I am just railing at the fact that other internet communities come together and yes, they have problems, arguments and trolls but they also often develop a tight knitted core of members who defend each other and debate with each other like reasonable human beings. My wife has a place on the net she goes to for everyone of her hobbies and I really envy her that she has a place where she can go and talk about the issues that matter to her without dealing with a world of shit.

Ah well, peace be with you. Especially if you are a 13 year old who has been unfairly called a fanboy or if you like me, wish to engage in fun debate about the ins and outs of your favorite passtime but constantly get chewed out for arguments you didn't even make in the first place.



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4 comments | showing # 1 to 4
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Timmeh's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 11:43
Timmeh
I find it amusing and tragic that people get so obsessed with games/hardware. The way people behave as if their console is a living, breathing being and worthy of such devotion is sad. It depresses me when I see these people who treat criticism of a faceless corporation that cares for nothing more than our money like an affront to a loved one. Seems like a huge waste.
CelicaCrazed's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 13:07
CelicaCrazed
"I guess I am just railing at the fact that other internet communities come together and yes, they have problems, arguments and trolls but they also often develop a tight knitted core of members who defend each other and debate with each other like reasonable human beings."

Umm, ever heard of Destructoid?? ;)

See I have a problem with this hippie-agenda. It's not about every corporation is moneny-grubbers but where people are throwing their alliance. Let's make a comparison: "Sony. Microsoft. Nintendo. Activision. Ubisoft. Square Enix. Capcom" vs "Naughty Dog. Bungie. Retro Studios. Infinity Ward. 5th Cell. Incognito. Valve. Smile Bit (R.I.P.)." The first group brings up thoughts of greed and false propaganda. They are all publishers, but some of them do make games. The second group is of developers, the actual people who make the games we love and play.

I think it's wrong to say that developers are only in this business to make money. That's not to say there is none doing this *cough*SonicTeam*cough*. But you can't group everyone together and brand them all the same. They wouldn't be making games, great games, if they were solely chasing dollar signs.

So basically what I'm saying is people should be a fan of the developers that make the games, not so much of the console that the game is released on. But I feel that most of the Dtoid community already knows the difference, hence why I love this place so much.
Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/27/2009 14:48
Elsa
Do people still hate corporations? I thought that was just hippies. :)

(oh, and I have no problem distinguishing between corporations and consoles. I'm a PS3 fangirl... but I also have hefty stocks in Microsoft in my retirement portfolio).
dip's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/16/2009 20:26
dip
I don't know, with comments like this:

"if this came to the US I'd maybe be finally tempted enough to get a PS3. Just to see first hand what all the fuss over Uncharted 2 is about. Maybe."

It's hard to take what you said seriously. It's borderline flamebait; implying that there is only one game that you would have you actually consider picking up a PS3 for (and only if it was in that specific bundle you were commenting on), only just to see what the hype is all about. And even then, you qualified it with a "maybe".

Right...
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