A good online friend of mine, who i met on BioWare's Dragon Age forums, confided in me last night. He has been married for ten years, but the relationship has slowly turned cold and he has found himself falling in love with another woman. He's a good man, and doesn't want to hurt his wife but admits that he just isn't in love with her any more. This is what i told him:
The first time i played Dragon Age: Origins, i took an immediate liking to Morrigan. She was hot and wore a cool outfit and as she was the first female to join my party, and the only human member aside from that whiny bitch Alistair, i really got to know her on the way to Lothering. A relationship was forged.
But then, in the Lothering tavern, i saw her. A dual wielding red-headed vixen with an adorable French accent. After butting into a fight and talking me into allowing my foe to flee with his life, she introduced herself as Leliana and joined my party.
The adventure progressed and i continued chatting up both Morrigan and Leliana, and with each 20 point increase in our relationship i was awarded a new ability bonus. Extra cunning for getting on with Leliana and extra magic for getting on with Morrigan.
Things were great. I had Leliana to tell me what a good boy i am and Morrigan on the other side of camp for when i wanted something a little more physical… and because of the ability bonuses, i was kicking more Darkspawn arse than i ever thought possible.
But then Leliana confronted me and said i had to make a choice. Her or Morrigan. The bard or the witch… i wasn't sure who to choose.
I preferred Leliana’s personality, but Morrigan had the looks. I knew that i would lose, like, 50 relationship points with whoever i dumped, and decided that Leliana’s additional cunning would serve me best as i was playing as a warrior. Plus she had the personality. So i decided i’d choose her. I went to Morrigan’s tent to break the bad news, but i just couldn't do it. I’d learned about her tragic upbringing, and how her mother intended to steal her body, and i just couldn't hurt her like that.
So i changed my mind, thinking that Leliana would be just fine without me.
And it was the biggest mistake of my Grey Warden’s life. Not only did Morrigan stop putting out, but as a result of my lost cunning i was getting hit more frequently and taking more damage. I started to resent Morrigan and stopped taking her with me into dungeons.
The moral of this story is that you have to decide what is best for you, and not your partner. Of course you should minimise the hurt you cause her, but you only have one life with which to slay the archdemon and stop the blight, so should choose the love interest that you like more.
I doubt that his decision was based solely on my analogy, but i received an email today thanking me for the talk and letting me know that he has decided to make a go of it with the other woman.