This is it. This is the game we have all been waiting for. Months of hype, days of early releases, all for the sequel to the best-selling first-person shooter of all time. Is the hype all justified in Infinity Ward's Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2?

Yes it is. Oh boy is it. Through three modes of play: single-player, online multiplayer, and co-operative, the men at Infinity Ward have proven once again that they are the kings of the Call of Duty series.



Many people will play Modern Warfare 2 for its online multiplayer, but what about jaded friendless misanthropes who can't afford or don't want to go online? The single-player is a great story, guaranteed to shock and offend, full of twists and turns. So why do I get this feeling of emptiness as I play it? The campaign is fun in short bursts, but if you're looking for a coherent story, this is not the place for it. The potential was there for a story that mixed elements of almost any Tom Clancy novel and an entire season of 24. The characters are not well-developed, the motives are unclear, all this story really has going for it is shock value. That's not to say the story is bad, it's just underdeveloped, a casualty of Infinity Ward's stubborn refusal to extend the criminally short-campaign in the first Modern Warfare.

But who plays Call of Duty for the story? The modes people will care about are going to be the online multiplayer and the Special Ops co-operative mode. I'm pleased to say that the two are very much enjoyable. Special Ops ties into the main story somewhat, while the online has been nicely re-balanced in ways other than just adding new weapons, perks, and also changing a couple gameplay elements. The biggest additions are to the lauded perks system. Instead of just having static perks that you earn through play, your perks can actually evolve into a “Pro” version of it by using them in matches and also completing set challenges. Some perks require going into Prestige Mode to get the Pro Perk, which adds incentive to activating Prestige Mode, making Prestige more like a New Game Plus in some of your favorite Square RPGs as opposed to just going into Prestige Mode to show how much of a hardcore Modern Warfare player you are.

Another major addition to the multiplayer is customizable kill streaks and all-new death streaks. Now, the playing field has been leveled for new players, or those who just don't have the time to do marathon sessions of multiplayer. Kill streaks can start at 3 like normal, with the same rewards for kill streaks like in Modern Warfare (UAV, air strike, helicopter), but you can add more stuff like UAV jamming, EMP strikes, and even nuking an entire level clean of people. As you might expect, death streaks are just the opposite, giving you extra health, allowing you to steal your killer's perks, and many others I don't want to spoil.



Also, host migration has made it into the game, which makes it great for people who hated getting kicked back to the lobby because the host lagged out or just left (possibly due to nerd rage).

On the other hand, Special Ops is up to four people, and the scenarios are very similar to the Nazi Zombies mode. Except here, the mode is much better-executed. You are placed into scenarios where you have to hold down certain positions in the campaign, although you are free to move all around the map. The goal is to earn stars, and you can earn them by completing set numbers of waves at different difficulty levels (from Recruit to Veteran).

Sounds like a perfect game right? Well, there are some problems with Modern Warfare 2, and most of them are related to the story. One thing that PC gamers have gone nuts over is the elimination of dedicated servers, which will not hurt console gamers much, if at all. I didn't even know what was a dedicated server and what wasn't in the original.

Technologically, it's all there for Modern Warfare 2. The locales look brilliant, the enemy AI is wicked on the higher difficulties (but it still can be just as cheap as past Call of Duty games), and best of all, there are no more infinitely spawning enemy points! Those were the most annoying part of any Call of Duty game, and their elimination has been long overdue. Hans Zimmer of Batman Begins fame has composed a soundtrack that, like other games in the series, is sparse, but is a perfect mood-setter for when it is playing.

So is it Game of the Year? Many people have prematurely given the award to Modern Warfare 2, and while there are still a few big-name games to go this year, this one is definitely the front-runner. From a single-player standpoint, the campaign's story needed more substance for it to be truly great, but the online multiplayer will distract you from the campaign's lack of substance.

Modern Warfare 2 gets a 5 out of 5.

It's been a long time since Uncharted 2 came out (at least in gaming time) and it's been longer since I last blogged about the disappointment that was Prince of Persia. However, I'm back and I have a lot to say about games that have come out recently! Look forward to much more writing!

For many, Uncharted: Drake's Fortune was the first game that people truly had to have for the PlayStation 3. Of course, this was back in 2007, when the PS3 had a dearth of software and many were calling it a defeated system, barely a year after it came out. Two years later Sony's behemoth has been getting on its feet, slimmed down, and been getting lots of fun games, but even at $299, people are still looking for reasons to buy a PS3. Naughty Dog, one of Sony's bankable studios, has been hard at work on Uncharted 2: Among Thieves, and could be one of the best games this holiday that nobody is talking about, lost in the Modern Warfare 2 hype. Does Uncharted 2 mark a new era for interactive storytelling, or is it going to flame out like a nuked fridge?


Yes, I know the box art is wrong!

For those that played the first Uncharted, you continue the story of Nathan Drake (played by the witty Nolan North), who is now looking to track the lost ships of Marco Polo and find Shambala, another mythical city much like El Dorado in the first game. Of course along the way you get your typical action movie trappings of betrayal, plot twists, and sexual tension courtesy of your hitherto-unknown girlfriend Chloe. The story is pretty good, but you have to admit that it is almost as stock as you can get for pretty much any action movie plot since Die Hard. Don't play this game if you're looking for a story, pretty much any betrayal, plot twist, or anything like that can be seen from a mile away, not to mention some spotty dialogue every here and there.

But you didn't come here for the story, did you? No, you came here for the sexy action and graphics! And yes, the graphics are awesome. Probably the most photo-realistic graphics I've seen ever, and I really don't put much stock into how the game looks. Mind you, this was just running on a 720p HDTV. If you run this on a big screen HDTV with 1080p and surround sound, you'll probably have one of the best-looking and sounding games ever. Uncharted 2 truly does feel like a movie. Other nice little touches are enemy chatter, and Nate also telling his adversaries to "bring it on," when he's in an intense firefight.

As I played through the game, I tried to remember my experience with the first Uncharted. I did remember a bunch of things that I hated about it: balancing on logs using the SIXAXIS, throwing grenades using the SIXAXIS, and some finicky aiming, and a stupid hand-to-hand engine. Thankfully, both of those have been eliminated. Grenades are not as abundant as they were in the first game, but that's probably because Naughty Dog knew that you were going to have a much better time aiming than last time, making your grenades doubly effective. The aiming has also been tightened up from the previous game, although your spectrum of weapons is still VERY limited.


This game is purdy...

One of the biggest complaints I had with the first game was the rhythm-based hand-to-hand combat system. That has also been thrown out in favor of a more traditional system, which relies on you just mashing buttons, although you can have a combo broken and get your butt planted firmly on the ground as a result if you don't counter back. There isn't much incentive to do it though, because you won't get the double-ammo drops like you did in the first game (another thing I thought was silly). What I do like though is that the game's hand-to-hand action is much more stealth-based, meaning you could theoretically go through a good chunk of the game without shooting anybody. There will be times where enemies will be actively searching for you, and you have a chance to move around and take out enemies quietly to thin their numbers and make it easier for you if you do get spotted (and you likely will).

The best addition to the game however, is undoubtedly the new multiplayer mode. Call of Duty 4 this isn't for multiplayer, but there is a leveling system and there is also an option to purchase new items and perks with money you get from killing opponents and completing objectives. You get a standard stable of matches like Team Deathmatch, Zone Control, Capture the Flag, Slayer, et. al. There is also online-co-op, but it isn't throughout the entire campaign, just for certain scenarios. Oh well, any co-op is better than none. In addition, the multiplayer plays exactly like the single-player, which is refreshing, especially considering so much of the single-player requires you to navigate your environment.


And you thought Sly Stallone had it rough in Cliffhanger.

Despite a few shaky bits, Uncharted 2 truly is one of the best games for the PS3, and one of the best games of the year. With a game that truly looks and plays like an interactive movie, a robust online mode, and tons of small touches that make the game practically irresistible to people who like action games, you have yet another reason to buy a PS3 right here.

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves gets my highest recommendation at a 5 out of 5

Ubisoft has done an excellent job of handling the Prince of Persia franchise over the past five years. First,
we got 2003's Sands of Time, an excellent game that was also fun to play, and then there were the two
sequels, Warrior Within and Two Thrones, rounding out a trilogy that could be described as one of the best in
gaming since the turn of the century.

Now, we get a new Prince of Persia, here in 2008 for the Xbox 360 and PS3. It promises to be a new Prince
almost across the board, but does it hold up against the sublime Sands of Time? Well...



Trying not to compare this Prince to Sands of Time is impossible. The two games are fundamentally
different, but here's the biggest difference: Jordan Mechner, the original creator of Prince of Persia back in
the day on PC's, was in on Sands of Time. I think he was working on the eponymous movie, because this
new beast doesn't truly feel like Prince of Persia.

As expected, you play as the Prince, who isn't even one at the start of the game. He's just a vagabond who
is coming back from an adventure with his donkey laden with gold and other treasures. However, a
sandstorm kicks up and leads the Prince down a path that ends with him meeting his femme fatale
companion (voiced by Kari Wahlgren), Elika. The Prince decides to help Elika bring the world out of
darkness, which was wrought by the evil wizard Ahriman. Not a lot is there for story, but there is
compensation in the interaction between Elika and the Prince, which can make for some good and well-
written dialogue.

Problems start with the Prince, however. While Elika is well-voiced and Wahlgren is a name trusted in anime
voice-over circles (she was Robin in Witch Hunter Robin and Haruko in FLCL), the Prince sounds
more like Nathan Drake from Uncharted: Drake's Fortune, one-liners and all. The Prince's dialogue has
about as many one-liners as Batman & Robin, and I can't believe I'm referencing that awful movie.

Getting away from the story and into the graphics, the game is a looker. Cel-shading has been a popular
technique for gaming for many years now, and while I still think the Dreamcast's 2000 masterpiece Jet
Grind Radio still does it the best, Prince of Persia does an excellent job with its graphics. While the game
can sometimes go darker than dark in many places (the darkness-afflicted areas, of course), the game is
simply beautiful when lands are restored, and seeing a land become restored for the first time is truly a sight
to see.



All these good things come to an end, however, when you run into the gameplay. It is afflicted with "casual
gamer syndrome," as I like to call it. The game basically holds your hand throughout the entire affair, and as
a Prince of Persia veteran, this was a pill that felt more like a suppository.

As you play, you'll see a few things wrong with the game, if you're a Prince veteran, but let's take a look at
some of the good things. Elika is not like Tails in Sonic games and makes herself scarce while you run
around and look badass running and jumping off walls and onto pillars and everything like that. She is also
useful for combat, as you can call on her magic with the press of a button to create some truly sick combos.
The streamlined combat interface is also nice, making for some easy quick combos, but it gets too easy to
spam one combo and use it over and over again.

That's about it for the good stuff. The rest of it is too damn easy. As I said before, the game holds your hand
throughout the entire experience. First of all, you can't die. Ever. Not once. Elika will always be there to
save you. On paper, this is a good idea, especially if you make a mistake while platforming, like pressing the
wrong button or moving in the wrong direction, Elika will carry you back to the last piece of solid ground.

However, while this could have been forgivable if it was just limited to a certain amount of uses like in Sands
of Time, it extends to combat, where it all falls apart. If you get critically injured, Elika will save you, nurse you
back to health, and your enemy will also regain his strength. Horrible idea. Knowing that you can't die takes
all the tension and all the drama out of combat.


Dammit, Elika! Can't you let me die?

Other problems with gameplay are that it's just too easy. The game is a cakewalk from beginning to end, and
the game tells you what to do. There is freedom to tackle the game however you want, beating stages in
your own order like in Mega Man, but getting there is enough to put you to sleep because there is barely any
combat to be had.

Most of the game's focus is on the platforming, which is what made Prince of Persia great in the first place,
but there is so much mandatory backtracking to do and so little combat mixed in that the game becomes a
bore. You need to go back into healed areas because if you don't, Elika won't learn new spells that are
required to get into more areas to heal. Collecting Light Seeds is the crux of the game, and getting all 1001 of
them requires you to go out of your way, make impossible jumps, and make you wish that there was more
combat than one person every 90 minutes or so.

Hillary Goldstein on IGN said that "the longer you hold onto Sands of Time, the harder it will be to accept this
new Prince." It's hard enough to accept a neutered Prince with enough one-liners to patch hell a mile, but
when the trademark difficulty is gone and there's no way to change it, that makes the game annoying. Some
truly awful design decisions by Ubisoft also cursed this game into a 3 out of 5.[size=12][/size]

Mega Man 9 Review (XBLA, PSN, WiiWare)

Let's party like it's 1987! Mega Man 9 is here, and it's a nice and affordable $10 across all
platforms (1000 Wii Points, 800 Microsoft Points). The real question is, does Mega Man still
have the old 8-bit magic, or is the spark better left in the mists of time?



We haven't seen a Mega Man game like this since Mega Man 6 on the NES back in 1993,
and the last “true” Mega Man game, Mega Man 8, was released back in 1996 on the original
PlayStation and Sega Saturn. IntiCreates, a company made of former Capcom employees
and Mega Man veterans, oversaw this game from start to finish, and the Blue Bomber's
creator, Keiji Inafune, also had a great role in Mega Man 9's production.

The story has never been the strength of the Mega Man series, and this one is no different.
Dr. Wily has been stopped once again at the hands of the Blue Bomber, and he is back in
prison....yet again. However, Dr. Light's robots soon start running amok, and Dr. Wily
insists that it's not his doing, but Dr. Light! Obviously framed, Mega Man dons his old all-
blue armor and goes out to stop the crazed robots and clear Dr. Light's name. Yeah, pretty
weak story, but remember that the whole game is about the action, and boy is it classic.

Mega Man 9 was built more on the Mega Man 1 and 2 engines, and there are a lot of
elements taken from those NES classics. There is no Mega Buster charge shot, no slide,
and worst of all, no on-the-fly weapons changing. The slide, introduced in Mega Man 3, had
a lot of practical uses, and I could think of a few spots where it should have been
implemented in 9, and I actually found myself wondering, “where the hell is my slide?!” I
also found myself wanting to use a charged Mega Buster shot, and nothing happened. I
never used it anyway in the old games, so small loss. Mega Man 9 is a 2-button game,
which works to perfection on Wii, since you will be holding the Wii Remote sideways like an
NES controller. Analog sticks don't have the same feel as a stiff D-pad, so for the
powerhouse systems the PS3 has the advantage in control since the D-pad is reasonably
placed on the DualShock 3, and it doesn't suck like the 360's D-pad. Xbox players will be
forced to use the left thumbstick to move our hero around, and while it's not bad, it doesn't
catch the same retro feel that one would get from using a D-pad.

As per usual, there are eight Robot Masters, and the classic challenge is beating the first
Master, then using the weapon you get to kill off another one. It may be classic, but there
are parts where the weapons are overpowered against the Master you want to kill. Boss
battles, a staple of the series, can be reduced to mere seconds, like using Fire Man's
weapon on Wood Man back in Mega Man 2. The Masters have better names than in the
past, too. Concrete Man, Tornado Man, Galaxy Man, Hornet Man, Magma Man, Splash
Woman (the first female Robot Master), Jewel Man, and Plug Man are all interesting, but
even better is the level design.

The levels in Mega Man 9 are some of the most innovative, yet devious and difficult ever
designed in the series. The game is a harsh reminder of how difficult games used to be. If
you're one of those people who think gaming has gone soft, give Mega Man 9 a whirl and
you will be given a lesson in frustration. You will die. You will throw your controller across
the room. You will be shouting curses and be flipping birds at enemies on the TV.
However, if you persevere, you'll have some awesome fun with Mega Man 9. There are
instant-death traps that border (and sometimes cross the border) on cheap, and,
especially in Concrete and Galaxy Man's stages, the death traps are the cheapest seen in
the series.


You jerk! I'm gonna kill you dead!

The big draw for most veteran gamers like myself and other people is that the game looks
and sounds like it would if it was made in the NES era. The graphics look great, even for 8-
bit, and the music is up to the classic Mega Man standards of awesome. The game even
pokes fun at itself, with incorrectly wrapping text, silly dialogue, and even Dr. Light saying
in the opening sequence, “You haven't done this in a while.”

Being that the game is on all three platforms, the game will have some graphical
discrepancies. The PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 editions are almost identical, since they
have the same glossy HD sheen, and the edges seem rougher. The Wii version does not
have a high-definition option, so it would have a more “authentic” and blocky look, like it
would on the NES. By design, these graphics are dated, but there is some merit to this in
that one could say it's an artistic statement.

Another discrepancy is that the Xbox 360 has the requisite twelve Xbox Live Arcade
Achievements to get, and they are not a walk in the park. There are also 50 in-game
achievements that range from speed runs to beating bosses with just your Mega Buster, to
the ludicrous task of completing the game without taking any damage. Only the hardest of
the hardcore need apply for some of the in-game achievements.

Mega Man 9 is not perfect, however. Going back to the graphics for a second, the game
designers intentionally put in slowdown and screen flicker that would have been present
should the game be on NES. While this is understandable and actually kinda nifty given
these days when slowdown is like a kiss of death for some games, it just makes an already
difficult game even more difficult, and not in a challenging way. This option (called Legacy
Mode) can be turned off, though, so if you're not a fan of screen flicker and intentional
slowdown, then you can turn that off.


OMFG!!1 Kill3r rob0t sciss0rs!

Another main complaint is that the developers are taking the Oblivion route in the realm of
downloadable content. Remember in Oblivion where you had to pay a few bucks for some
BS horse armor? That was a waste of money for something that should've been in the
game, and Mega Man 9 is taking that wallet-squeezing route. Downloadable content will be
available soon which will allow gamers to play as Proto Man (Blues, if you prefer), and
there will also be more difficulty modes, and also an endless survival mode. Nice touches
by Capcom, but why isn't this stuff unlockable in the game? This DLC will all be a couple
bucks a pop, too! Way to nickel and dime us to death, Capcom.

However, these are small complaints when you consider how much fun Mega Man is to play.
There is beauty in simplicity, and while that's been Dragon Quest's motto for years, Mega
Man 9 has heeded those words and given us something that looks and sounds like a relic of
days gone by, it has some of the most rewarding gameplay in the series' history. It's a
classic example of better graphics don't make a better game. Go out and buy this one, it's
a keeper.

Mega Man 9 gets a 4 out of 5.

The frontrunner in the console wars as of right now, the Xbox 360 may be a little stagnant
right now, but E3 was a great showcase for the future of the system. Every serious gamer
knows that summer is never really one of those times to get many games except for
Madden and NCAA, but E3 is the gateway to the rest of the year for us. Let's take a look at
the Xbox 360 Press Conference.




To start off, while most press conferences come off as boring and stodgy, to quote Yahtzee,
Microsoft started off really well. They cut right to the chase, showing us gameplay of some
of the newest titles that are due out from later this year, to spring of 2009. We got to see
Gears of War 2, which some people have said is more of the same, but with a game as
good as Gears, more of the same is not necessarily a bad thing. Cliff Blezinski, Epic's
captain and guide through the short demo, hinted at us being able to ride a Brumak, which
would be really awesome. Also, there is a new 5-player cooperative mode called "Horde,"
where you can take on waves upon waves of more powerful Locust. Sounds kind of like
Galaga, but with much more blood and gore. The entire Gears 2 demo practically had
intensity and testosterone dripping from it, and we also got a date for Re-Emergence Day:
November 7th, 2008.

Also, we got to see Fallout 3, which is a game that many have been waiting for. After
seeing this demo, I'm definitely ready to play, even though I've never played Fallout 1 or 2.
Fallout 3 gives you the option of playing in either first-person or 3rd-person views, which
allows you to play the game to your liking. Also, since it's made by Bethesda, the makers
of Oblivion, you know what they have in store for us: lots and lots of time sitting on our
couches, squeezing every last bit of fun out of this game.

The on-stage demo also showed us some more of the uniqueness that is in Fallout 3. You
can shoot enemies in real-time, like in every other first-person shooter you've played, or
you can slow it down and take potshots. By far the most entertaining part of the demo was
the mini-nuke rocket launcher. A nuclear weapon that is fun for the whole family! But the
biggest news for this game is that Fallout 3 has gone the route of Grand Theft Auto IV and
will be delivering exclusive downloadable content for the Xbox 360. Fallout 3 is due out in
March 2009.



Nukes are fun!

Next, there was Resident Evil 5, a game that people have been asking me about since RE4
came out. "When is Resident Evil 5 coming out, Jim?" Well, it's coming out the same time
as Fallout 3, March 2009. Both games in time for my 21st birthday! Anyway, RE5 was
shown off, with the co-op feature, as one player can take control of Chris Redfield, and the
other can control Sheva Alomar. Co-operative play seems to have a pretty important role
in the game, especially in the part we saw. Not too much was revealed about the game
that we didn't already know. The camera system from RE4 is back, and the game looks
every bit as intense as RE4 did, just better-looking and on a seemingly larger scale.

Finally was Fable II, which a lot of people are stoked for as well. Addressing the crowd,
Peter Molyneux said that Fable II is indeed finished and will be out in October of this year.
Molyneux showed off a bit of Fable II and its drop-in/drop-out gameplay. People can be
invited into your world at any time and can travel with you. Molyneux then showed us his
house, with his wife and child. The only thing that worries me is that we weren't shown any
combat, but as long as it's as enjoyable and as simple as the original, then we'll be more
than satisfied with the game's crushing depth.



Those were the four major games showcased on the Microsoft Press Conference, and after
this great leadoff, we were then treated to boring business stuff. However, Microsoft did
give us news we did want to hear: 2007 sales of Xbox 360 software were higher than the
PS3 and Wii combined. Also, there are 12 million Xbox Live subscribers, and 11
million Xbox 360's sold lifetime, which is only about a million ahead of the Wii. Microsoft
then announced that they would outsell the PS3 over its lifetime. That was a guarantee,
which shows Microsoft's confidence in their product.

Next up was the unveiling of the new Xbox Dashboard interface. Taking a page from Sony,
Nintendo, and Apple, the new interface looks like iTunes, but what was touted was the new
avatars, which are sort of in between Sony's realistic Home avatars, and Nintendo's Mii's.
These avatars will be added alongside your Gamercard. The new interface looks like Cover
Flow on iTunes, which I'm not so sure about. Sure this is a work-in-progress and is due out
this fall, but I like the "blade" interface enough as it is.

Microsoft also told us about new releases to Xbox Live Arcade, which is extremely
impressive right now, what with Rez HD, Ikaruga, some Sega classics like Sonic and Streets
of Rage, and most recently Soul Calibur. Now, we can add Portal: Still Alive, UNO Rush,
Galaga Legions, and Geometry Wars 2 to an already impressive lineup.

There were also other game announcements like a new Scene-It?, Lips (which looks like
Microsoft's answer to Sony's SingStar), Viva Pinata: Trouble in Paradise, among others.
Aside from games, there was also a partnership announced between Netflix and Microsoft,
which will allow us people to rent movies to our 360's. I would be more excited about this if
I watched more movies.

However, the biggest announcement was one that got every gamer alive buzzing: the
PlayStation 3's biggest titles (Metal Gear Solid 4 and Final Fantasy XIII) have had their
exclusivity to that platform in doubt for a while, but while MGS4 seems to be exclusive for
now, by far the biggest announcement of the convention came when a trailer for Final
Fantasy XIII was shown.


Yes, it's real. Square-Enix is now a traitor...if you're a Sony fanboy

It is true, Final Fantasy XIII will be on both Xbox 360 and PS3. However, another part of
the Fabula Nova Crystailis series, Final Fantasy Versus XIII, is still exclusive to the
PS3...for now. The third part of Fabula Nova Crystailis will remain exclusive to mobile
phones in Japan, and that is Final Fantasy Agito XIII.

That's about all there is to say about the Microsoft E3 Press Conference. Stay tuned and I'll
have both Nintendo and Sony's recaps. All in all, I say it was a very impressive press
conference from Microsoft, as it gave us what we wanted: announcements and games
aplenty, and possibly the biggest announcement of the entire convention.

Any gamer in his right mind should know what Final Fantasy VII is. It's easily one of the greatest games ever made, and for a myriad of reasons. The storyline was great, battle system complex but not grinding, the Materia system was great for levelling up magic, the music was amazing, pretty much everything but the kitchen sink was there in FF7.

Recently the Final Fantasy VII series has seen a lot of other medium to finally round out the story. Most of it was actually clamored for by the rabid fanboys/girls of the game, but like most games and movies, spin-offs and sequels just can't measure up to the original. First up was Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus, and it sucked. Then came the long-delayed movie, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, which was actually pretty good, even if only for the art. It did make for an awesome AMV at Anime Boston 2008, though. Now comes the long-awaited Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, which serves as the prequel to the original game.


And Square-Enix said, "Let there be a prequel!

You play as Zack, a dorky spiky-haired member of the Shinra Corporation's private army SOLDIER. Many fans of FF7 will remember that there was a flashback that Cloud had when he was with the cast of characters in Nibelheim. The Zack that Cloud pretended to be in the flashback is the guy you play as for Crisis Core. As Zack, you get dispatched to Wutai to stop a war that has been going on at the beginning of the game. However, all is not well. A rogue SOLDIER (eerily similar to Sephiroth) named Genesis is cause massive amounts of SOLDIERs to disappear, and eventually it's up to you as Zack to save the world before you die at the hands of Sephiroth. The story is easily the strength of Crisis Core, but there sort of a letdown since if you've played Final Fantasy VII (and you most likely have if you play Crisis Core) since you know what happens. It's like when the ending of the last Harry Potter book was leaked.

When it comes to the music, of course there will be memorable tunes, but I really wish that there had been more FF7 tunes because I bought this game wanting waves of nostalgia about FF7. While some classic music is there, a lot of it is brand new and/or remixed. Remixes are fine and all, but I've never been a fan of them. Also worth mentioning is the voice acting, which is not as bad as it could've been, but is having the original Japanese voice-over a little too much to ask? For fanboys/girls who will contest pretty much everything I say in this review, I watch 99% of my anime in Japanese, and I prefer it since it sounds more authentic. I would at least like that in some video games, too.

Graphics in Crisis Core push the PSP to the limit in every conceivable way. Load times aren't THAT bad, but maybe I'm desensitized to it since I own a PS3 and have to put up with installs on pretty much every game I play. Anyway, the cut-scenes are Advent Children-quality, and the in-game engine isn't too shabby either. Crisis Core really does look like a PS2 game, and we will see more of this from 3D games on the PSP. The problem comes with that these cut-scenes, both CGI and in-game, are totally unskippable. If you die at least once or twice, this becomes a major pain. Skippable cut-scenes should be standard in EVERY RPG.


For just pennies a day, you can help cure Anime Hair

Pretty much everything is going right for Crisis Core right now, but here comes the backbreaker, the gameplay, and hoo boy did it put me to sleep. People who have been on the fence about Crisis Core have asked for my advice, and I discouraged them from getting the game because the combat is so terrible. I can only describe it as this: take the fighting system from Kingdom Hearts, put in FF7's Materia system, put it in a blender and set it to liquefy. What you get is a chunky vomit milkshake that requires you only to push the X button until either it breaks or you break your thumb. The shoulder buttons allow you to cycle through your equipped Materia and items, and the analog nub allows you to move around, and you can also guard and roll away.

Now, this would be somewhat acceptable if the combat wasn't so similar to God of War! Another complaint is that the lock-on destroys any and all semblance of strategy that can be accustomed to the game. Every time I thought the shoulder buttons would change my target, they changed my materia instead, so instead of pummeling people with physical attacks, I ended up using Cure or some other magic spell, or worse yet an item I needed for the upcoming boss battle! Also, I found myself completely unable to switch targets once the game had locked onto one for me. All you do for combat in this game is mash on the X button and maybe press another button to roll out of the way a few times.

The worst offender to the gameplay is that the complexity that goes with every Final Fantasy game is totally gone in the Digital Mind Wave (DMW) system. If you have SOLDIER Points available (SP), the DMW will spin automatically. There are no experience points, no skill points, just these lame-o SOLDIER Points. And that's not all. Since the wheel spins and stops automatically, you have zero control over what levels up! Give me a break! The only good news is that you have a hard time losing in this, but whenever something levels up, it's always the one thing you don't need to level up on! Different combinations lead to different attributes levelling up, and the like. There is a New Game+ available but by this point, I've long since stopped caring. And really, since Chrono Trigger what Square-Enix game hasn't had a New Game+?


Can the DMW sense headaches and disdain?

When I said at the end of my "The World Ends With You" review, this is why I said "you can keep Crisis Core." In WEWY, you have total control over your characters and how you want to build them up. In Crisis Core, the opposite is true. I know it's like trying to compare apples and oranges, but Crisis Core is a game that has its head stuck so far up its arse it doesn't care what you think of it. It's pretentious in every sense of the word, and that's a vibe I've been getting from the Final Fantasy series in general as of late, the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII in particular.

There are rumors that there is one more part to the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, and while I will definitely check it out, I will approach it with a certain amount of caution, especially since everything beyond the original game has been such a letdown for me. The good news is that it's the last part so it truly will be a Final Fantasy.

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII gets a 2 out of 5. Let the fanboy/girl flaming begin.

P.S. Yes this entire review led up to that one last joke.