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Ten Things Epic can do to ensure GEARS OF WAR 2 ROCKS.
 by Y0j1mb0 on 05.11.2008      36 comments




Gears of War. For Xbox360 owners, the debut of the first game which sold 5.2 million copies, was probably a religious experience. Mainly due to some insane graphics that still hold up remarkably well and a little attachment to the the default weapon, The Lancer, known as the chainsaw. The act of chainsawing somebody in half with blood splattering on the screen, is one of the most graphic displays of violence in a game and one of the many contributing reasons why the first one enjoyed the success it did. Also why the sequel is forthcoming towards the end of the year. But like all good things, there is always room for improvement. May I present to you below a few of them in this:



10. Story.

Story? We don't need no stinking story!! Upon playing the first Gears, you as Marcus Fenix, get released from a prison that's sole purpose is to only house you and you alone. I think I'm the only one that noticed this little fact. From there, with the help from your friend Santiago, you proceed on your quest to help humanity push back the tide of the Locusts. One would think there was more to it then that but aside from a few tidbits here and there, some testosterone filled exchanges with your fellow colleagues, it's not much to the story. To be honest I didn't care because while I was being herded to set piece after set piece I was satisfied with the action onscreen. It's when you finish the game that you realize there was nothing to it. Epic, please expand on the story in the sequel, ok?

9. Make it a Longer Romp.

I beat Gears of War in a day. A day. I know it had a multiplayer component which I'll get to.. but the brevity of the story mode was disappointing to me. Maybe because I was enjoying the hell of the story mode and then boom!..it ends. But c'mon Epic, A little more meat on that bone please. It would suck to wait two years for the sequel only to beat it in six hours. I'm just asking for more man..that's all.

8. Color, Please.

Cliffy B and Mark Rein must be color blind. That's all there is to it. While the Unreal 3 Engine is an engine that can display quite alot of eye candy, it seems that in Epic's hands color must be a treasured commodity. Only distributed in small portions here and there and never in abundance. This was the case with Unreal Tournament 3, so dark..so very dark, to Gears of War grey palette. Hey, I'm not asking for the sprite candy colored world of Halo 3 here but some added color to make those graphics pop more sure would be awesome.

7. Four player coop.

I loved the coop mode of the original Gear of Wars. To play the game on Insane with a friend over LIVE was one of the best things about the original. How about adding two more to the coop fray. The more the merrier I say. While it's been speculated that this feature will indeed be in the final build of the sequel, as far as I know, nothing has been confirmed by Cliffy & Epic.

6. More Cog Tags & Hidden Goodies.

While everybody and their grandma where trying to get all the achievements for this game, my favorite thing was scouring the land for cog tags of my fallen brethren. I know collecting all of them was an achievement too but that's not why I did it. I just love going through a level looking for any Easter eggs the devs might have put in the game. Upon finding my first cog tag I had to find all of them. Put more of them into the game, hell put a bunch of Easter eggs to find. Maybe parts of a secret weapon and if you find all of these hard to find parts, you assemble a kick ass new gun to use on the locusts.



5. Bosses.

I want more Sub Bosses, and HUGE Bosses. The bigger the better. I want Voltron sized Bosses that I have to jump around a huge environment running and gunning to defeat. The first had a few but again..more is always better. Giant ass Snakelike things, Retarded ass monstrosities with mechanical Doohickeys and what not shooting lasers at you.. the weirder the better. Just give us HUGE fucking things to shoot at. If Resident Evil 4 can choke you with Epic bosses I'm sure a company called EPIC can incorporate them into their game.

4. Flamethrower.

It should be a law that when you work on a weapon based first person and third person shooter this weapon be available to you for use. I know the sentimental weapon of choice for Gears is a toss up between the sniper rifle and the shotgun but throw a flamethrower to the mix and I can just imagine the mayhem added to the already chaos ensuing. I don't wanna hear how that weapon wont work in the confines of the Gears engine.. a flamethrower will work in any damn engine in my opinion.

3. MORE MULTIPLAYER MODES.

For real. This game is begging for more multiplayer modes. Throw some bombing runs, or an assault mode Ala past Unreal Tournaments. That shit would be sick. Have a Berserker mode where one player is the Berserker and your trying to take him out, like juggernaut for Halo. Have more than two teams vying to win.. open it up and have more people in there. Maybe have bosses from the game as environmental hazards that teams can unleash or release on the other team. Just give us more multiplayer modes than the last time.

2. BOTS.

This is EPIC, right? Where's the Bots? Epic, where are the Bots? We have split screen coop, we have all these multiplayer modes and we can't enjoy or work on refining our skill offline?? From a company that makes the better bots in the business with Unreal Tournament 3? Why no bot love for us Epic? Imagine also starting an online game and not wanting to wait to start a match because you don't have the right amount of people. Just add a bot and your good to go.. OR even better, your whole team team against bots to work on your team tactics. Tell me you got those for the next game Cliffy.

1. The ERADICATION of HOST ADVANTAGE.

For crying out loud Epic and Microsoft. You better have dedicated servers this time around. Because if you don't and I have to deal with the host shooting me in my toe and I die, while I'm filling him with bullets and he shrugs them off like mosquitoes that's gonna be a deal breaker for me. Say what you want about Gears of War, great game, great graphics, awesome multiplayer, but if the host of the game is unstoppable.. the online is broken. Get that peer to peer bullshit that should be reserved ONLY if the dedicated servers are offline, outta here. You guys made a shitload of money the last time. Return the favor by incorporating dedicated servers and additionally a level playing field for all to enjoy. You do these things I can assure you your game that will most likely be good if not great, will rock.

There are 36 comments about this post:
Elitechief27's Destructoid Blog
Nice blog jimbo, I agree with your points with the addition of one, being able to invite friends into ranked matches. It's a pain in the ass when me, Snail, and a couple of other D-Toiders try to get a ranked match in. I mean, we can find each other, but it's just really cumbersome.

Also, in before the Yoj1mbO BLOGGED ABOUT THE 360, O SHI-
Gynecologist Cobra's Destructoid Blog
0. Get rid of the fucking berserker.
Darkknight37's Destructoid Blog


Berserker must remain!

Great list, and I'd like the option to pick up something along the lines of a big fucking blade to impale some Locust scum!
aborto thefetus's Destructoid Blog
They are doing exactly what you said in 6 and 5. Go pick up a copy of game informer my friend. What they are doing with the collectible items sounds awesome.
the GAMEGOBLIN's Destructoid Blog
MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A TRUCK BERSERKER

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MAKING FUCK, BERSERKER

Good read.
braulio09's Destructoid Blog
gynecologist cobra...fuck that, the berserker was awesome

also, yoj1mbo

Intelligence is sexy
Justice's Destructoid Blog
Alot of good points Yojimbo, I pretty much agree with everything you've written here.

Also, beserker stays! With two at one go in the next game! That would be insane.
Reeper's Destructoid Blog
BETTER CUTSCENES TOOO!

Am I the only one that thought every single cutscene in the game sucked jizz? Seriously, the animations looked like an epileptic monkey's work.
Necros's Destructoid Blog
I've only played this at a friend's house, but fuck yes to bots. Hell, every FPS could use some bots.
Professor Pew's Destructoid Blog
I agree with everything except bots. Always hated them in all Epic games. I guess it wouldn't hurt to include them though, just port the code from UT3 or something?
EternalDeathSlayer's Destructoid Blog
I agree about the bots, the color, and the story. But if what they say in the latest Game Informer is true, then we're getting at least 2 of 3 here. Apparently the story is being expanded upon a lot, and it seems a bit more color is getting into the game.

As for host advantage, yes, it failed hard. But I was willing to overlook it once, so I'm willing to overlook it again. If it's not fixed I'll be disappointed, but I'll live. Skill will always reign in the end. I can still kill a host no problem, especially if he sucks.
garrfunkel's Destructoid Blog
Agree with everything. It all seems to be stuff that Im surprised they missed in the first but hopefully they'll make it perfect this time around.
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Destructoid Blog
I'm playing this Tuesday ^_^
razerangel's Destructoid Blog
Hmm cool list! Not played the first one yet tho, but ill have until november to do so.
Y0j1mb0's Destructoid Blog
Damn you Hamza..
covah's Destructoid Blog
I agree with everything but 6. I wouldn't dislike 6 if it was included, but if it wasn't I wouldn't cry.
007's Destructoid Blog
Hamza... wtf.
Xerosnake90's Destructoid Blog
How about multiplayer mode that isn't bullshit. Like when I shoot at someone in the face with blind fire, don't literally have the character close their eyes and shoot diagonally to the left instead of straight ahead.
ajaxender's Destructoid Blog
I think #3 applies to every multiplayer game out there except Halo 3. You can hate it as much as you want, but youve gotta give respect to its gametypes and customization.

All i want is the game to come out on pc but not a crappy port that totally unbalances the game. Eg do not make locusts with shotguns take 2 shots to die while you only take 1. Meaning shotguns are useless in the campaign.
aborto thefetus's Destructoid Blog
@hamza

WHORE!!!
B-Radicate's Destructoid Blog
They could put numbers 1-9 in this game, but if 1 is not taken care of... I will sell the game back.
Clockwork's Destructoid Blog
The story was so WHACK! The first three or four chapters were completely unecessary.

Chap 1-2: Find the Resonator
Chap 3: Plant the Resonator. Fuck. It didn't work
Chap 4: What about these things that are all over the fucking place? Could these work? Yes? Let's go to Marcus' crib.
Chap 5: I want this motherfucking RAAM off this motherfucking train.

That is Gears of War story for all of you.
EternalDeathSlayer's Destructoid Blog
I just want to hurt people with cool weapons.

The host has no advantage over skill. Fuck that excuse.
Kyousuke Nanbu's Destructoid Blog
That is true EDS but a good player is damn near unkillable if he's host, not to mention that most hosts tailor the playing field to their skills, I used to play with someone who swapped everything for Torque's, it was a pain.

And I agree with this list, and I would add like the first post here, playing ranked with friends, I've played plenty of ranked multi games, all with friends, what makes gears so special?

I also have actives since most people just empty their gun, switch to another, spot someone, reload, BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM WITH THE GLOWAN BULLETS.

Think on this scenario, 2 equally skilled guys face off, one has a gun full actives, the other does not, the one with the actives will win their fight and that is just bullshit. Skill goes out the window thanks to actives, just look at the sniper rifle, it was so rare to see someone do headshots with it, just actives and constant downs, maybe a headshot but first he downs you which takes 0 skill.
Droll's Destructoid Blog
Are people really serious about bots in this day and age?
With the promise of real, human competition, are people still clamoring to fight robots? The single player game is the botmatch. You play multiplayer to fight dudes!
And dude-ets.
Also, the story in GOW wasn't just half -assed. It was FULL ASSED. Aparently the story wasn't really finished during development, and ideas for the story were superceeded by ideas for cool gameplay scenarios. Suffice to say, the game was left with REALLY excelent dialog and voice acting, but a complete cop out of a story.
Droll's Destructoid Blog
Are people really serious about bots in this day and age?
With the promise of real, human competition, are people still clamoring to fight robots? The single player game is the botmatch. You play multiplayer to fight dudes!
And dude-ets.
Also, the story in GOW wasn't just half -assed. It was FULL ASSED. Aparently the story wasn't really finished during development, and ideas for the story were superceeded by ideas for cool gameplay scenarios. Suffice to say, the game was left with REALLY excelent dialog and voice acting, but a complete cop out of a story.
Droll's Destructoid Blog
Are people really serious about bots in this day and age?
With the promise of real, human competition, are people still clamoring to fight robots? The single player game is the botmatch. You play multiplayer to fight dudes!
And dude-ets.
Also, the story in GOW wasn't just half -assed. It was FULL ASSED. Aparently the story wasn't really finished during development, and ideas for the story were superceeded by ideas for cool gameplay scenarios. Suffice to say, the game was left with REALLY excelent dialog and voice acting, but a complete cop out of a story.
rmsk8r05's Destructoid Blog
I never played the first game yet, I'll buy it cheap though rather then renting and beating it within a day.
Eschatos's Destructoid Blog
Things the game needs:

10. Chainsaw Pistol
9. Chainsaw Shotgun
8. Chainsaw Rocket Launcher
7. Chainsaw Rockets(shot from said launcher)
6. Chainsaw Grenades
5. Wretches with Chainsaws(from Annoying to Deadly!)
4. Chainsaw Vehicles?
3. Explosive Chainsaw-shooting Crossbow
2. Plot somehow based on the acquisition and use of Chainsaws
1.Giant Boss Fight vs. Brumak with Mega-chainsaw
DynamicSheep's Destructoid Blog
11. Put it on the PS3
mistic's Destructoid Blog
I want Y0j1mb0's version of Gears Of War 2!
brainderailment's Destructoid Blog
These 10 things are a must, but I think a list of 15 might have worked too.
EternalDeathSlayer's Destructoid Blog
Kyo: Good point.

I'm never the host, so I've no clue how it feels.
Qraze's Destructoid Blog
more cowbell!
vexed alex's Destructoid Blog
Here, here, good sir!
PetiePal's Destructoid Blog
I think expanding the co-op to online would be a very smart move. Halo 3 set the bar with that and there's no reason if a game has single player splitscreen co-op that it shouldn't support XBL co-op as well.

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Name: Francisco *AKA* y0j1mb0

Age: 36. I'm the residential Old Geezer of Destructoid & You Tube Superstar.



Likes: Roast Beef Sandwiches, unsolicited sex, video games of all genres.

Dislikes: Elitist Pricks, Hippies, People who use the word "n00bz"

Consoles I Own: PS3, Wii, Xbox 360.
[ PSN:k0wb0y-b33b0p - Friend Code: 0774-3918-3804 - LIVE: y0j1mb0 ]

Games you will see me playing: GTA IV ( What a Surprise! ), Echochrome, PSN Poker, Stuntman: Ignition, Front Mission DS, Odin Sphere, Rainbow Six Vegas 2: The I Need a Patch Edition, COD4, UTIII, Warhawk, and just dived into Ninja Gaiden Sigma ( Thanks again James! )

Games I'm itching to play: Heavy Rain, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, Wipeout HD, Little Big Planet, Socom: Confrontation, Resistance 2, Haze, Alan Wake, and Fable 2.

Founding Member of The Official Destructoid Beard Club

Proprietor of PS3 Friday Night Fights and PS3's Poker Nights ( Mondays @ 10pm EST. )

Proud Reserve Recap Cblogger.


Things off the Blog I do. Once every month I review two movies. Generally obscure, cult classics or off the radar flicks that need to be seen by all.

Past Movie Recommendations:

Gangster No 1
Zaitoichi The Blindswordsman
Glengarry Glenn Ross
Oldboy
A History of Violence
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer
The Seven Samurai
High Tension
Brazil
Jacob's Ladder



This month I'm pleased to highlight two more movies in my collection:



Years after terrorizing a small Texas community, the God's Hand Killer has returned-leaving in his wake a perplexing trail of fear and death. Convinced that he knows the killer's identity, Fenton Meiks shows up at FBI Headquarters, intent on putting an end to the murderous rampage and relieving his conscience of his family's sinister secrets.

Frailty was Bill ( Game Over, man!! Game Over!! ) Paxton's directorial debut. One would think that it wouldn't be as good compared to some other director if he would of had the realms. But what Bill did here with this indie movie is create one of the better hidden gems of psychological suspense out there. What's even more remarkable is that aside from Mathew McConaughey, Powers Boothe and Bill himself..the majority of the movie is in the capable hands of unknown child actors.

Here's another thing.. the movie just flat out works on all cylinders. Mathew McConaughey actually doesn't take his shirt off in the movie and get this...acts!! Bill himself is great as a Father who may or may not be off his rocker. And Powers Boothe, one of my favorite character actors, brings in the rear as the FBI agent on the trail of the God's Hand Serial Killer.

This movie has some of the most memorable images yet for a suspense movie. Being that it doesn't have an over the top budget, what Bill did with this movie is even more of an accomplishment. There will be scenes that you just wont believe.. images of implied violence that will make you cringe and acting that makes the script believable and fresh. At times claustrophobic with just a two camera shots going back and forth between two actors to long lingering static shots Bill doesn't succumb to the usual camera hysterics most new directors use. Those hyper cut, MTV quick camera shots that make no sense.

If you haven't seen this awesome movie, do yourself a favor. Head to Walmart, go to the Bargain Bin where the DVDs are 4.88 and pluck through the garbage, pick this diamond in the rough up and add it to your collection. Great stuff and an excellent date movie as well.







Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, the director that brought you The Sixth Sense and Signs you may think you know what you're getting yourself into with this movie. While it may share some thematic elements from prior work, this movie is it's own beast. It's also Shyamalan's best movie by far in my humble opinion.

With all the hoopla of Iron Man and recent superhero movies, it's only fitting I add this cult classic to the table for your consumption. Before I begin giving you my two cents worth, let me preface this by saying I used to be the biggest comic book fanboy ever. Up till the day before I got married I collected just about every Marvel comic known to man as well as select DC, Image, Legend, and a sprinkle of indie comics as well. How does that correlate to this movie? Well that's simple. What M. Night Shyamalan did with Unbreakable is create the greatest superhero movie ever. Did that get your attention? I thought it would.

David Dunn's marriage is crumbling, and he's thinking of moving to New York. On commute when he's coming home from a job interview, his train derails and he is the only survivor out of 132 people who perished to their deaths. More than that, he doesn't have a scratch on him. David is contacted by Elijah Price, who runs a comic book art gallery and suffers from a genetic condition that makes his bones very easy to break. Elijah has been a comic book fan all his life, and has developed a theory that they are what remains of an ancient system of storytelling, and that the superheroes they are about are based on real people. Elijah believes David may be one of these people. He has hardly ever been injured or sick, and he has tremendous strength, plus an uncanny ability to tell if someone is about to or has done something bad. David doesn't know what to think about the theory, or Elijah himself. However, events soon conspire to convince him he may be a superhero after all.

This movie is required viewing by all comic book fans. As a matter of fact if you haven't seen this movie and are a comic book fan your license just got revoked. Bruce Willis is superb as David and Samuel L. Jackson is fucking brilliant in this movie. The pace of the movie is slow and you may find yourself looking around wondering when is it going to pick up. But that's just Shyamalan wanting you to see everything in the frame. You'll come to realize that the movie itself is like a moving graphic novel. The colors he employs, to the way the scenes themselves have a magical almost surreal feel it just doesn't get any better.

Though the gritty, seemingly naturalistic flick offers up nary a pair of Day-Glo spandex tights, those in the know immediately recognize the hallmarks of the comic form, such as heightened dialogue (Samuel L. Jackson's giggle inducing expository speeches) and bizarro flourishes (Jackson's cane is made of glass -- so practical!). That said, Shyamalan, in an interview, still didn't call ''Unbreakable'' a comic book movie. ''It's more a movie about the milieu of comic books than it is a comic book movie,''

To me M. Night Shyamalan made this movie for the comic book nerd in all of us. He made it for the eight year old y0j1mb0 who used to read Fantastic Four and Batman way back when in wide eyed wonder. And now as an adult when watching this movie I'm transformed back to a kid, wide eyed with wonder, wanting to wrap a blanket around my neck, wanting to be that hero. The respect he gives comic books in this movie will forever cement Unbreakable in my top 25 movies of all time.







A Rant On Religion:

Here is my problem with the ten commandments- why exactly are there 10?

You simply do not need ten. The list of ten commandments was artificially and deliberately inflated to get it up to ten. Here's what happened:

About 5,000 years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together to try to figure out how to control people and keep them in line. They knew people were basically stupid and would believe anything they were told, so they announced that God had given them some commandments, up on a mountain, when no one was around.

Well let me ask you this- when they were making this shit up, why did they pick 10? Why not 9 or 11? I'll tell you why- because 10 sound official. Ten sounds important! Ten is the basis for the decimal system, it's a decade, it's a psychologically satisfying number (the top ten, the ten most wanted, the ten best dressed). So having ten commandments was really a marketing decision! It is clearly a bullshit list. It's a political document artificially inflated to sell better. I will now show you how you can reduce the number of commandments and come up with a list that's a little more workable and logical. I am going to use the Roman Catholic version because those were the ones I was taught as a little boy.

Let's start with the first three:

I AM THE LORD THY GOD THOU SHALT NOT HAVE STRANGE GODS BEFORE ME

THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN

THOU SHALT KEEP HOLY THE SABBATH

Right off the bat the first three are pure bullshit. Sabbath day? Lord's name? strange gods? Spooky language! Designed to scare and control primitive people. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent civilized humans in the 21st century. So now we're down to 7. Next:

HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER

Obedience, respect for authority. Just another name for controlling people. The truth is that obedience and respect shouldn't be automatic. They should be earned and based on the parent's performance. Some parents deserve respect, but most of them don't, period. You're down to six.

Now in the interest of logic, something religion is very uncomfortable with, we're going to jump around the list a little bit.

THOU SHALT NOT STEAL

THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS

Stealing and lying. Well actually, these two both prohibit the same kind of behavior- dishonesty. So you don't really need two you combine them and call the commandment "thou shalt not be dishonest". And suddenly you're down to 5.

And as long as we're combining I have two others that belong together:

THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTRY

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE

Once again, these two prohibit the same type of behavior. In this case it is marital infidelity. The difference is- coveting takes place in the mind. But I don't think you should outlaw fantasizing about someone else's wife because what is a guy gonna think about when he's waxing his carrot? But, marital infidelity is a good idea so we're gonna keep this one and call it "thou shalt not be unfaithful". And suddenly we're down to four.

But when you think about it, honesty and infidelity are really part of the same overall value so, in truth, you could combine the two honesty commandments with the two fidelity commandments and give them simpler language, positive language instead of negative language and call the whole thing "thou shalt always be honest and faithful" and we're down to 3.

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR"S GOODS

This one is just plain fuckin' stupid. Coveting your neighbor's goods is what keeps the economy going! Your neighbor gets a vibrator that plays "o come o ye faithful", and you want one too! Coveting creates jobs, so leave it alone. You throw out coveting and you're down to 2 now- the big honesty and fidelity commandment and the one we haven't talked about yet:

THOU SHALT NOT KILL

Murder. But when you think about it, religion has never really had a big problem with murder. More people have been killed in the name of god than for any other reason. All you have to do is look at Northern Ireland, Cashmire, the Inquisition, the Crusades, and the World Trade Center to see how seriously the religious folks take thou shalt not kill. The more devout they are, the more they see murder as being negotiable. It depends on who's doin the killin' and who's gettin' killed. So, with all of this in mind, I give you my revised list of the two commandments:

Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie.

&

Thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than you.

Two is all you need; Moses could have carried them down the hill in his fuckin' pocket. I wouldn't mind those folks in Alabama posting them on the courthouse wall, as long as they provided one additional commandment:

Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.

GEORGE CARLIN ON THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
from "Complaints and Grievances"





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New MGS video... MGS1 Revived? You Need to See This!


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Customizing xbox


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Wednesday Night ...Whatever


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News in Film : The Forbidden Kingdom Review


Spykron's Profile Spykron
Latest blog:
And the gamers who play them: The Overwhelmed/Impatient Gamer.


Takeshi's Profile Takeshi
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Killzone 2: Februari 2009 + new footage and screenshots


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CINCI NARP: Ron Workman plays SSBB!


Teta's Profile Teta
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I have a new obsession: My brain


the GAMEGOBLIN's Profile the GAMEGOBLIN
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Who's birthday is it *on the 15th? (NVGR)


Topher Cantler's Profile Topher Cantler
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Happy Birthday Hoygeit!


unstoppablejuggernaut's Profile unstoppablejuggernaut
Latest blog:
10 reason why the good ole days werent all that good


vexed alex's Profile vexed alex
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True Life: My 360 Broke


VWGTI's Profile VWGTI
Latest blog:
Will the Bourne Consipracy Game Be Any Good? I think so!


wardrox's Profile wardrox
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So I Compared GTA on the 360 and the PS3 [vid]


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Latest blog:
How to have an Opinion about GTA IV and articulate it..Proper.


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