Byron once wrote "Pleasure's a sin, and sometimes sin's a pleasure." If that is true than today I felt like I needed to cleanse myself in confession for I felt like I sinned like no other. What act of devilry did I partake in today? In order for me to answer that we must go back in time earlier in the day through the use of creative writing. It was a sunny day in North Carolina. A light wind caressed some leaves as they cascaded to the freshly cut grass that is my front lawn. Finishing my lawn chores I proceeded to check the mail when I noticed a curious package. This one:



Strangely the address was wrong but somehow it still reached me. Looking at who sent it, I should of known that a simple wrong address wouldn't have stopped it from reaching my shores if the person in question, Tron Knotts, wanted it so... and obviously he did. Tron Knotts, eh? The infamous Dtoider who hasn't made an appearance in awhile on Destructoid. What on Earth could he have sent me? Let us take a look.



A Mike Wilson for ESA President Button. If I remember correctly this "gent" is part of Gamecock. A game company renowned the world over for their over the top theatrics and underwhelming games. Awesome. This button will adorn my button wall in my office. Next up is...



Really Tron you shouldn't have. A Neosporin Lip Treatment keychain sleeve. Not the Neosporin itself, but a sleeve for it. In keychain form. You're so good to me. I know I am the envy of all the Dtoiders with the pure awesomeness of this swag. Be jealous bitches. Wait there's more!



What you see above is a limited special edition Wachusett Brewery bottle cap opener. Part of a keychain, but unlike the other one, this one looks like Tron himself must of used it extensively for it is only the bottlecap opener itself. Truly a wondrous gift, as I know for a fact plenty of alcoholic beverages were opened and digested by the man himself. YES. How could that be topped? Oh it can and it was. Ladies and gentlemen feast your eyes on this.



For the uneducated these may seem like some crappy pebbles. I laugh at your ignorance. Hahaha. No my fellow colleagues upon extensive research using the infallible databases of Google I realized that these weren't ordinary stones but significant tools used by shamans in the Upper Amazon. Their real names are piedras, or piedras encantadas, magic stones, sometimes called just encantos, charms; such stones are called inkantos by the Machiguenga and Shipibo. .. whoah. I'm honored Tron. I vow to use these only for good.

And finally to answer the question posed in the beginning of this post. What made me feel like I sinned like no other? What form of pleasure/sin overload did I experience that left me reeling? Simple really. Tron Knotts' Homemade Cookies.



So wonderful, so heavenly, so sweet, these cookies aren't your run of the mill Little Debbies cookies. No no my friends, these cookies are almost too delicious. Having just ate half of one, I had a jolt of gaming fortitude course through my veins. In that instant I beat Battletoads in one sitting without continues as well as Ninja Gaiden before I crashed in exhaustion on my den floor. I can see why he shrink wrapped those cookies beforehand for fear of having its power unleashed on some poor mail carrier should its contents been compromised. I still have one and a half cookies left. I believe I'll save them for a special occasion.

I close with this. If you ever receive an unassuming brown package in the mail. Rejoice. It could very well be a Tron Knotts package... and perhaps you too will be graced with the bliss that are his homemade cookies.