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About Me


Veni, vidi, vici.

Name: Francisco *AKA* Y0j1mb0

Age: 38. I'm the residential Old Geezer of Destructoid & You Tube Superstar.



Likes: Poker, Roast Beef Sandwiches, unsolicited sex, video games of all genres.

Dislikes: Elitist Pricks, Hippies, People who use the words "But I digress" and "n00bz"

Consoles I Own: PS3, Wii, Xbox 360, PSP Slim, DS Lite.
[ PSN:k0wb0y-b33b0p - Friend Code: 0774-3918-3804 - LIVE: y0j1mb0 ]


Founding Member of The Official Destructoid Beard Club and once Proud Reserve Recap Cblogger.

Past proprietor of PS3 Friday Night Fights and PS3's Poker Nights

For those who are weird and may actually want to read more of my stuff here are things off the blog I do. Occasionally I write for Flixist, a rad movie site where, get this, we talk about and review movies. I also help out a bud and try my hand out at game journalism (heh) at The Obsessed Gamer


Epic Card Courtesy of The Ghost.


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A REAL GAMER's Game Setup.
Y0j1mb0 | 8:13 PM on 04.25.2009 50 comments


It seems that displaying your gaming set up on Destructoid hasn't lost any of its luster, as we still have plenty of community members new & old who will occasionally post them for all to see. I must say that even I find such posts highly entertaining, yet every time I see one of these so called gaming set ups I find myself looking for a member to step up to the plate and post their other gaming set up. The true one that they probably use more than what they show to the public. Well Ladies and Gentlemen, I took it upon myself to lift the veil of secrecy and show you what a real gamer's game set up actually looks like. One not staged nor afraid to walk into the light of public scrutiny.

Behold my fellow colleagues. My Real Gaming Set up.



As is customary here I shall try to bedazzle you by walking you through it, item by item. Let us begin. Numbers please.



If you haven't deduced by now that my set up resides in my bathroom, you have issues that cannot be resolved. That said, those expecting a glorious HDTV set, a plethora of anime figures providing fan service, walls of DVD/Blu-rays, and multiple game consoles of prior generations that aren't even used but are there for displaying retro cred, will be in for disappointment as you will see none of those distractions here.

I've taken a more minimalistic approach that substitutes function as well as comfort over style. With that as my prerequisite I shall begin tackling the first three things.

1. To the naked eye that decorative can is just that. A plain old can but it's not there for its outward appearance but for what it does. Residing inside is a mixture of scented potpourri to help curb or stamp out any aggressive odors that may assault the senses in those times of stubborn extended plays.

2. A few games. Not a whole slew mind you but just enough to give you the illusion of choice when really the two or three displayed there are perfectly staged to be there because of their status of not being complete/beaten. As they are completed, create a rotation, adding yet more games to engage and vanquish that backlog.

3. Toiletries. Basic toiletries. This is after all a bathroom. Assorted lotions, lubricants and such should be there. Let's not forget bath soap shaped like roses or balls that evaporate in hot water. Why? Who knows? I hear chicks dig that... as well as lubricant.

4. A functioning clean toilet. I cannot stress how important this is. Make sure if you intend to have a corner piece of a set up like this, that your porcelain altar is pristine.

5. Bathroom tissue/Toilet paper. If I gotta explain what this is used for then what you are supposed to wipe is a dumb one.



6. Every set up such as this should have gaming periodicals at the ready and or game instruction manuals. These things were made to be perused here. Oblige fate and fulfill this preordained tradition.



7. A plant of some kind. Nothing says being "green" as a plant. As long as that's there I can say I'm doing my part and technically not have an ounce of guilt as I pollute, overuse energy, and leave a carbon trail from my multiple vehicles that could be seen in the next state.

8. My gaming consoles themselves. My babies. Notice I don't have a truckload of them. Or ones from prior generations as that would be stupid. Real gamers discard or trade their old consoles for the newer ones. I mean why am I going to play the Gameboy when I can play the DS, savvy? But if you're one of those kinds who want that cred, by all means leave a few old ones laying about with maybe a classic game here or there as well. You're bound to impress someone.

Notice that I honered the tried and true tradition of actually picturing my DSs open. I don't have a clue why this is done but hey you can't call me a wet blanket for not following the established. For the curious I have two DSs, one pink with Advance Wars in it, the other black with Mario Kart ( for when the mood strikes me to beat my lap records ), and my PSP slim which currently has Resistance:Retribution, among assorted anime torrents and select porn.

And finally...

9. A comfortable seat. Not all toilet seats are created equal and if you think so, you've been severely neglecting your arse.



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45 comments | showing # 1 to 45
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flaming burrito's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 20:19
flaming burrito
noob, those DSes are last gen. You need a DSi now. A REAL GAMER you are not.
Haxan's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 20:28
Haxan
Y0j1 just got real on our asses.
eternalplayer2345's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 20:41
eternalplayer2345
You have pink ds too? Yay
FalconReaper's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 20:47
FalconReaper
@ J1MB0
thats epic man. Also if you are interested Boss Files #2 and 3 are posted.
Alasdair Duncan's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 20:47
Alasdair Duncan
Playing the DS on the crapper is one of life's simple joys.
Monodi's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 20:59
Monodi
@Y0j1mb0

"Real gamers discard or trade their old consoles for the newer ones. I mean why am I going to play the Gameboy when I can play the DS, savvy?"

WHOAH, no. What was that? I hope that was a big fat joke.
shipero's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 21:02
shipero
Is this where you do you do all your writing too? I ask because all your posts are shit.

Nah, I'm joshin' you. You're alright.
theredpepperofdoom's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 21:06
theredpepperofdoom
umm holy shit. wow.
The Prodigal Son's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 21:11
The Prodigal Son
Does the toiletries basket also contain a tube of prep-h for those "strenuous" sessions?
Chris Carter's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 21:12
Chris Carter
Whoa 'Jimbo! Haha my bathroom has a bunch of old dusty EGM mags in the magazine rack.

I knew someone that got hemorrhoids or some shit (lol pun) because they almost completed an RPG sitting on the toilet with their DS.
NoMoneyLeftBoy's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 21:27
NoMoneyLeftBoy
@ ALI D - Whenever I play games on the toilet for too long I usually end up with a forced, compressed and bloody hemorrhoid hanging out trapped between the muscles in my anus, where it tends to remain for up to a fortnight.
Alasdair Duncan's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 21:29
Alasdair Duncan
@John Solgrim: yeah, I can just picture the scene: Jimbo saying to his wife "Hey honey, can you take a picture of me on the shitter whilst I watch some porn on my PSP? Honey...?"
RiotMonster's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 21:53
RiotMonster
Quit being so bad ass damn it..
Daxelman's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 21:55
Daxelman
I'm sorry jigga, but yo shit is disgusting....I hope you wash yo hands man.


Seriously though, I do hope you wash your hands...
Black Nexus's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 22:22
Black Nexus
Wait a minute, last night when you were kicking my ass in street fighter 4 you reached into a mini fridge for a beer, so you have a mini fridge in your bathroom, the department of health will want to have a word with you on that.

and the fact that a katana isn't on display in your gaming setup is very dissapointing.
Krow's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 22:25
Krow
God bless you Yoj1mb0!
Joanna Mueller's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 22:37
Joanna Mueller
I expected to see a state of the art beard manicuring kit. I'm somewhat disappointed.
Jack Maverick's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 23:01
Jack Maverick
Why does your toilet only have one Rockstar sticker? Either have none on it or have the toilet covered with them. It only makes sense. :\
Alasdair Duncan's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 23:09
Alasdair Duncan
@Nomoneyleftboy:

Ouch!
Qraze's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 23:17
Qraze
yeah, don't try to sell me that psp or ds to me, i know where its been now and its probably covered in butt sweat juice from someone shutting it down after whipping or tworking the chain. ( don't act like you don't know what the butt sweat is, it's that sweat that will sometimes have you thinking that you just got shit on your fingers ).
RonBurgandy2010's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 23:20
RonBurgandy2010
Wow.....just........wow. I should have guess, what with you being old and all that you would spend a lot of time on the throne. :)


You should get a home version of that game that you piss on a target in a port-a-potty to play.
Mr Kite's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 23:20
Mr Kite
@flaming burrito

Only a noob would forsake his GBA slot for starscream.

All I have I have in my bathroom is one or two of the latest gaming magazines I subscribe to.
IronPikeman's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 23:23
IronPikeman
Man, this post is like Bill Murray showing up at a pornshoot with cheesecake on his dick... maaaayn
Naim Master's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/25/2009 23:26
Naim Master
I only disagree with 8 , I don't want my DS smelling like shit (literally)!But I can't agree enough with 9 ,a lot of those uninformed arses think all toilet seats are equal , your everyday hard toilet seat can't even dream of competing against my stuffed toilet seat , it feels like taking a dump on heaven (on a cloud to be more precise)...Oh , bonus question , any of you use any water based butt-cleaning technology?
007's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/26/2009 00:03
007
Wow, you're too hardcore for us. Seriously, I wish I could have a set up like that. I mean, I get thirsty when I game, so it's nice to know that I could have a seat that doubles as a fountain.

Dayum. Day-um.
pascuz46's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/26/2009 00:24
pascuz46
I got that copy of PTOM and I also have Resistance Retribution in my PSP, great game!
Tony Ponce's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/26/2009 00:24
Tony Ponce
That's it. I'm quitting the hobby. I just can't compete anymore.
Monodi's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/26/2009 00:50
Monodi
Ok this blog entry has some of the most hilarious comments ever.
dontbedifficult's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/26/2009 01:31
dontbedifficult
You ever drop a DS in a john?
t3chn1k4l's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/26/2009 01:59
t3chn1k4l
You totally stole my idea. That was going to be part 3 of my setup blog.

Part 1-War room-Xbox
Part 2-Conference room-PS3
Part 3-Meditation room(john)-PSP

Guess I shouldn't be so lazy and post these good ideas when I get them.
Black Nexus's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/26/2009 02:27
Black Nexus
BTW what happens when someone visits your gaming setup and uuuum misses ?
bloodylip's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/26/2009 05:25
bloodylip
My mom still plays my original Gameboy with Tetris and Dr. Mario in the bathroom. The screen protector fell off about 10 years ago, but that thing is still a beast.
Guagloves's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/26/2009 09:41
Guagloves
"Real gamers discard or trade their old consoles for the newer ones. I mean why am I going to play the Gameboy when I can play the DS, savvy?"

Really? Why would you sell and old consoles? I still play my Game Boy Color and N64 sometimes. The only consoles I have ever sold were my PS2 so I could get a 360 and my GBA because I never used it much. I tend not to sell my old consoles though. No real reason to.
fetusmilk's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/26/2009 09:50
fetusmilk
what you dont have a tv in your bathroom? playing NES while on the shitter is a lot of fun.
Aurain's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/26/2009 09:57
Aurain
@Burrito:

Real Gamers spend the 50 quid extra DSi cost's on Games.
Instead of a pointless Upgrade.
Kryptinite's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/26/2009 10:00
Kryptinite
Yep, he went there.
Conrad Zimmerman's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/26/2009 17:36
Conrad Zimmerman
I'm not the sort of person who spends more time in the bathroom than it takes to load most games, but I can see the appeal for old men who have a difficult time squeezing one out.
liam2015's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/26/2009 21:01
liam2015
I don't even know what to say
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/27/2009 00:13
vexed alex
So basically...all the gaming paraphernalia in there is now covered in poo particles.
Jaffacakelover's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/27/2009 07:02
Jaffacakelover
"As they are completed, create a rotation, adding yet more games to engage and vanquish that backlog."

Wait, is 'vanquishing the backlog' you crossing another game off your list of uncompleted titles, or the stress of a hard game clenching your ass and helping you 'vanquish' that 'log' from your 'back'? That's what you're in there to do, after all...
Wow, that was tenuous.
drhqnril's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/27/2009 07:19
drhqnril
i feel ashamed. all i have is an old gameboy and tetris. also a rubics cube. but its one of those 4x4 ones so i reckon that makes me more hardcore, so thats alright then.
Takeshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/27/2009 08:11
Takeshi
Thank god, I though I was the only one!
dclark's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/27/2009 09:00
dclark
I don't think I'd trust anyone else in the bathroom with my DS. Clearly the unwritten rule of not touching between wiping and washing is not known to everyone.
PappaDukes's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/27/2009 09:06
PappaDukes
I also game whilst shitting! Love you Y0j1!
LukienAkeela's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/27/2009 09:37
LukienAkeela
I feel like I've been shown the error of my bathroom ways Y0j1mb0.
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