I can't fully enjoy the PS3 without an ample supply of hookers and blow. How does that figure into your Reaganomics? - MegaStryker
I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir, because I'm not myself you see. - Alice from Alice in Wonderland; the greatest book ever written
Best thing about those cards are how bad the pun/product writing is. "I only have Snake Eyes for you." "You've Duke'd it out with my heart and now I'm yours to command." "I have a Cobra Commander in my pants." - sheppy
How to read a review without being pissed off: 1. Decide prematurely whether the game is balls, or the second coming of flying spaghetti monster. 2. Go to www.metacritic.com and search for the game. 3. If flying spaghetti monster, click on first link. If balls, scroll to the end and click on the last link. 4. You should now be sitting and staring at a review you agree with. 5. Complement reviewer on such a well thought out and non biased review. -BlackSunEmpire-
That's because WWI was a pretty low-budget project, it was mostly about the story of soldiers in trenches and lay-low tactics, the sequel WWII, was really the bomb, with millions of dollars invested on it and top notch action sequences. - adrianboy
I think booze is a pretty cool guy. eh keeps me from doing the recaps on time and doesn't afraid of anything. - Pendleton21
Everyone else tolerates it because you're an attractive woman, I find that quite shallow. - Mousse420
*NOTE: I like that quote because at least I know if everyone is going to assume I'm female at least I'm attractive. Call me.
I was able to cause my child to fall into a well of depression after shattering his tailbone by horribly failing the see-saw QTE at the park three times in a row. Then I tried to cheer him up by buying him candy, but picked the one flavor he didn't like. It was like reliving my own childhood.
Xzyliac: @punisher898 Score! I wonder if Cyndi Lauper and Lady GaGa hang out together. #ponders
punisher898 (aka Occams Electric Toothbrush): @Xzyliac: I bet if they do its like the best Folger's coffee commercial ever.
That's awesome. Hollywood writers are the best! I had one make me an iced latte the other day. It was totally adequate! -Jumbo
Uno just brings out the animals in all of us. It's just too sexy of a game. -Sanious
Xzyliac, shut up, you\'re not cool. -Fear No Darkness
*NOTE: I would like to note that later on I explained myself to Fear No Darkness and he totally sent me an apologetic PM. He's a classy fella whom I'd love to share a drink with sometime.
If you've never had promiscuous thoughts about a Dreamcast then you're not a gamer. -GoldenGamerXero
Oh Valentines Day. Some people hate it, some people love it, some people love to hate it, but no matter what camp you're in you're not alone. Fact is half the fun of Valentines Day is how much fun it is to talk about Valentines Day. Do you hate it? Write a hilarious blog! All of the fellow haters will flock and we'll all have a jolly good time! Do you love it? Write a romantic blog about it! We'll all flock and go ga ga for you!
In the love business (mmmm...sexy), before breaking everything down, you have three camps. The Loved, The Loveless, and The Misunderstood. No matter who you are there's a lovely batch of tunes for this day of love and heartbreak. And I, bringer of all things noisy, have a compiled said list for you. With love of course.
So you have a lover. Maybe it's a hot dude. A hot chick? Beagle? Bagel? Jesus? I won't judge. Fact is on this the day of looove you are getting ready for (A) hot sex, (B) hot cuddling, (C) no you can't have both. Choose wisely.
Anyways for all those who will be getting some sweet, rosey, love here's some tunes for your day.
Ocean and a Rock by Lisa Hannigan
Ocean and a Rock is such a beautiful song. I love it. I think it's one of those songs that kind of makes you believe love can exist no matter how far apart you are.
Bonita Applebum by A Tribe Called Quest
Maybe this is less about love and more about lovin' this song is still mighty sexy. Yeeaahh.
Backdoor Man by The Doors
Sex. Don't gimme that look. You and I both know Valentines Day is just as much about romance as it is about getting laid. Neither gender is innocent of this.
Automatic by The Go-Go's
Amazing. Truly an underrated track from an underrated and oft forgotten album. The lyrics to this song are pure fucking poetry.
While We're Young by April March
This is the song for risktakers. For people who just want to be whisked away and have their minds blown. Truly feel like this a unique sort of a love song.
Michelle by The Beatles
It's impossible to list a list of love songs and not have a Beatles song and Michelle is probably one of the best. It's a simple young love between a dude from Liverpool and a French chick.
The Concept by The Cranberries
And it's also impossible not to have a Cranberries song and a track off the sensual and hypnotic Wake Up and Smell the Coffee hits the spot. Nothing says "Awww yeeaahh," like Dolores O'Riordan's voice.
Conquest by The White Stripes
Okay let's kick things up a notch. Conquest is one of my favorite love-y songs (maybe moreso seduction, I'm down with both) because it's the story of a strong woman who turns the tables on a strong man. What's hotter than that?
Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis
What can I say? It's a classic.
Circles by Strong Bad
I didn't know whether to put these here in the Loved section or not but because it's Strong Bad it's safe to assume he gets the girls in the end and rocks her god damn world.
Bull in the Heather by Sonic Youth
Personal favorite. I thave yet to meet anyone who really knows what Kim Gordon is trying to say in this song but the most popular theory is the song is about love making. With that mindset I think the song is definitely one of the more beautiful and lyrically intense of love (or at least seduction, be sure not to mix those up kids) songs. Personal favorite right here. Also, the video has Kathleen Hanna kissing Kim Gordon. That's just awesome.
Sandpaper Kisses by Martina-Topley Bird
I still haven't decided if this or I Want You (She's So Heavy) by The Beatles is the most hypnotic of love songs but Jesus is it up there. I mean seriously. Sit in ambience and listen to this song. It's like a natural high.
Of course not everybody has somebody to love on Valentine's Day. Some of us don't give a fuck and that's the way we like it. Maybe you've been heartbroken, maybe you just don't care, whoever you are these songs are for you. I know it sounds stereotypical of my generation but I find the "Fuck you," songs to be more entertaining than the love songs. Most love songs just don't have that punch ya know?
Ex Lover's Lover by Voltaire
Of course it's impossible to have a list for the Loveless and not include some goth. So here we have two for ya. Sorry Amanda Palmer, whether you wanna be goth or not, the goth culture has adopted you. Deal with it.
Good Day by The Dresden Dolls
The Flowers by Regina Spektor
Not everyone without love is angry or bitter about it. Some are somber this Valentine's Day. Maybe you lost a lover, maybe a bad breakup, diappointment, whatever. I think no matter what the majority of us can, at least at one point or another, relate to The Flowers. That's why I love it so. It's heartbreak with a little hope and some restless nights.
Death On Two Legs (Dedicated To...) by Queen
If we can all cry over The Flowers we can probably all get pissed off listening to Death On Two Legs. I know I do. It's probably one of Freddie's most powerful performances. Granted it's not actually about a breakup (it's about Freddie's relationship with his managers before signing onto a bigger label) but damn you coulda fooled me.
Ain't No Sunshine by Bill Withers
Up and down, up and down. Angry, sad, sangry, sad. The world of the loveless is an emotional rollercoaster for sure. Here's a little sadness for ya. And yes, I was reminded of this song thanks to Dante's Inferno.
American Woman by The Guess Who
And up again. Probably one of my favorite "Fuck you," songs. Some people think it's a political song. For example "I don't need your war machines / I don't need your ghetto scenes." Well the story goes at one of The Guess Who's first shows everyone had gotten there except lead vocalist Burton Cummings. So the band began improvising the rhythm and Cummings was having trouble because of some girls who he distinctly remember bragged that they had come up from America to see them play. So Cummings got on stage and improvised the lyrics telling the ladies to "Fuck off." Awesome, right!?!
I Remember When I Loved Her by The Zombies
And down again. Love me some Zombies.
Cover My Eyes by La Roux
Pretty much every song off of La Roux has that cold electronic somber feel. The duo has some of those good strong woman tracks that have toppled the strong male tracks in popularity recently on there too (Bulletproof obviously being the most popular) but I think their somber side doesn't get enough credit. What? You're tired of hearing me talk about La Roux and Elly Jackson? Deal with it. They're hyping their next album soon.
Psychotic Girl by The Black Keys
Time for a complete musical 180. Psychotic Girl (from the fantastic album Attack & Release which totally should've won a Grammy) is one most dudes and lesbians can probably agree with. Sure probably some straight women too but have you seen lesbian relationships? They deal with some crazy shit sometimes.
Galaxy 500 by The Reverend Horton Heat
Hit the Road Jack by Ray Charles
YES! Childhood favorite. I knew how to break up with someone musically before I even knew how to seduce or serenade them. Ray Charles. That's the shit I grew up on!
I'm Not Your Stepping Stone by The Monkees
Love this lil' diddy. I don't care if that's really The Monkees performing it or not.
And then there's the misunderstood. It's not that the misunderstood are completely unlovable. They're just...special. The enjoy special things in a special way. There's no telling how these odd lovers will be spending their day of romance and baby making but it's fair to say most of us probably don't want to know. Or maybe you do. I won't judge...to your face.
Dead Girls by Voltaire
Now my #1 rule when music list blogging is to never repeat an artist. In this case I make an exception because this totally belongs here.
Little Girls by Oingo Boingo
Yup. I creeped out many-a friends with this one.
Do You Like Boys? by Freezepop
Playing this loud in a Texas shopping center was totally worth it.
Non-Existent Patricia by L7
L7 is so amazing. They can make literally anything sound cool. If MCR did this song it would suck ass. When L7 does it you wanna punch a panda. Best. Grunge band. Ever.
October by Dolores O'Riordan
Changes suck (sometimes). October is usually a very interesting month for me artistically. It's like "molting" season. I never feel more confused and misunderstood than I do in October. In a way it's enjoyable. Being confused and lost means you rediscover old things in a new light. But you're still lost.
Somebody to Love by Jefferson Airplane
This one speaks for itself.
Bust A Move by Young M.C.
Fuck everyone Young M.C. was awesome. Never have I found a hip-hop song that truly captures the awkwardness of seducing the opposite sex than Bust A Move.
Silver Dagger by Joan Baez
This song gets me every time. EVERY TIME! It's such a sad tune and I know how that feels from both sides of this story. I think it's the most down-to-earth misunderstood tune I've ever heard. The narrator is so conflicted and confused. It's a bummer.
Behind Blue Eyes by The Who
This song always fascinates me. Had this song been written and performed within the last 10 years (especially during the Grunge era) we'd all be shooting it down as some pussy emo shit. But because it's The Who, and because it was written when it was written, it's an instant misunderstood classic. Double standards. We got 'em.
Hang You From the Heavens by The Dead Weather
The Dead Weather's album Horehound is another one that so deserved a Grammy. It was consistently brilliant and musically it was probably the most interesting album to hit the mainstream last year. I'd argue it may be better than anything The White Stripes released. Anyhow here's a song, the girl in it is conflicted, dig it. The bass is the shit.
I Want to Break Free by Queen
Breaking my own rules again. At some point in all our lives I think we can kind of agree with this. Kind of dropping that whole "dating fascade" and just going balls to the wall (literally or metaphorically, we're all friends here).
I Don't Want to Know (If You Don't Want Me) by The Donnas
HAHA! Suck it! Don't like The Donnas!? Well fuck you! I love The Donnas. Many people don't. I do. This is my list. We're gonna get some Donnas in this bitch. This might be my favorite Donnas song. It also gets kinda creepy.