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Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,
I can't read any damn thing about Lady GaGa without thinking of you.
Now I have to hit you with a bus.
/sigh
Now I have to hit you with a bus.
/sigh
You're welcome for the <3. I think you passed to me some of your La Roux obsession, i've been listening their album repeatedly for the last weeks. Thanks for that.
Also, i love your header(Elly is so hot, if you don't marry her i will)
Also, i love your header(Elly is so hot, if you don't marry her i will)
After seeing Miss Jackson on your blog bits and comments for so long, I spotify'd her album, generally seems really good. Bought for my girlfriend as well, so she should be happy!
I think you're fitting in well here! You have the air of being here for ages, but I don't know.
Also with the Merry Destructoid etc. :)
I think you're fitting in well here! You have the air of being here for ages, but I don't know.
Also with the Merry Destructoid etc. :)
WiiSucks is an Internet Hero who had to be banned because he did something really, really stupid. I miss him. I should hit him up for some GTAIV soon.
