Yesterday the badass Jack of Spades named Electrium posted a top 5 most wanted list for 2010. I've decided to pass the buck. Please, join us.

At first I thought this was premature. Thanksgiving hasn't even passed yet. Then I though about it: all the good games are out as of this week so why not? I mean 2010 is looking like the bomb. Especially for PS3 owners who are (finally) getting their Final Fantasy and Gran Turismo as well as that extra helping of Metal Gear and Halo to ruffle up the feathers of famous franchises. So here's my personal top 5 in the best order my heart will allow.

5) Project Needlemouse - Platforms TBA - TBA 2010

I fucking love Sonic. Even now after all the poor hedgehog has been through I will admit that I am proud of my blue buddy. Sonic will always be welcomed back with open arms by this fan.

So when rumblings of Project Needlemouse first erupted I was ecstatic. Could this be the one? The one!? Alas, we don't know anything about this project yet so I'll sit tight anxiously but this easily makes my list because seriously? I love Sonic the Hedgehog. Come back to me baby. You don't have to put on the red light.

4) Halo: Reach - Xbox 360 - TBA 2010

So again I'm gonna let my own excitement get the better of me and throw caution out the window. Now I'm not a big Halo fan, I consider the franchise lovable at best and tolerable at worst, but I have read the books out of curiosity and The Fall of Reach was easily the best book of them all. Not only the best of them all but a damn good book overall.

Now if you don't know The Fall of Reach is the first Halo novel and it covers the creation of the superfreak Spartan-117 also known as Master Chief. The book follows him as his emotions are gutted out of him, Cortana befriends him, and his fellow Spartans (seriously they're like his family) begin their first fight against an unanticipated invasion of Covenant.

It's a really good book and I really have faith that it will translate well into a game. According to the leaks the game puts an emphasis on your team which fits the novels theme perfectly. Again I am the last person to freak out about Halo but it was an exceptional book.

3) Metroid: Other M - Nintendo Wii - TBA 2010

METROID!!!!!!!!

I haven't turned on my Nintendo Wii all this year. Seriously. It's fucking pathetic. And here comes the most unexpected people to bring me back to last years addiction: Team Ninja.

Seriously it's a 2D/3D hybrid Metroid game made by Team Ninja. Holy shit. It's like somebody jizzed perfection onto a disc and put it into the Wii. This, Epic Mickey, maybe something Zelda related, I'm pretty excited for the Wii in 2010.

2) Mass Effect 2 - Xbox 360/PC - Xzyliac's birthda...I mean January 26, 2010

Mass Effect was one of this fans most lovable games I've played this gen. Even with all it's faults ME was a shining example of why Bioware got me into gaming in the first place. And ME2 looks to capitalize on all the lovin' of it's predecessor.

First I love the darkness of it. This is one of the rare occurrences where darkening a series actually helps rather than hurts. Even with the removal of my sexy blue lover (and the replacement of my new female rapist girlfriend) I'm still having a hard time not gushing over this title. While some may downplay the decision of emphasizing the shooter over the RPG I think the RPG aspect was perfect in ME1. It was just enough to be interesting but not so much that it took over the game.

At the end of the day all I care about is ME2 keeps that steamy plot a-boilin'.

1) Heavy Rain - PlayStation 3 - Early 2010

I remember all those years ago when the PS3 was first announced and they announced Heavy Rain. Not even the tech demo from which the above pic is taken. Just the name and developer. I orgasmed...twice.

If you don't know Heavy Rain is developed by Quantic Dreams and if you don't know who Quantic Dreams is they made the batshit crazy Indigo Prophecy. A PS2/Xbox game that was, in my opinion, far ahead of it's time. The technology to recreate their vision of a video game thriller simply was premature. Plus, the writing was bullocks.

Well now it seems QD has gotten their footing. Last E3 Heavy Rain got a surprising amount of praise despite huge criticisms of Indigo Prophecy and the above tech demo which had a few...off animations to say the least.

Bonus - All the music games

Okay now I know we all know my stance on music games but hear me out:

Neversoft made a good Guitar Hero. So we all know the next 50,000 spinoffs will be based off this Guitar Hero as it is the most recent one but that's actually a good thing! Harmonix has put out two great Rock Band titles plus the mysterious Pear Jam Project next year all clashing into the big Rock Band 3. DJ Hero kicks ass. So how can next year suck for music games? Oh it's doable but it's mighty hard.

So what about you guys? Can I get a ditto?

It's fitting that in what is currently a sea of people rehashing the same topic after topic that a music game post can stand out. Well, time for another fun filled mini-review blitzkrieg lovingly titled 'Stuff I Did Since Last Time I Told You What I Was Doing!'

Completely by coincidence all the stuff I did since last we talked involved music games. Yes I know what you're thinking: "But Xzyliac, we all know you're a plastic peripheral slut. Isn't it a little convenient that instead of playing real games you spent your last 3 weeks playing music games?" It is but I swear I didn't plan to. My plan was to come here and talk about DJ Hero, Halo 3: ODST, and Prince of Persia. However Gamefly had different plans. They lost my ODST and Prince of Persia for a week and in the meantime I might have slipped up and played a few music games...I CAN QUIT WHENEVER I WANT TO!


The Beatles: Rock Band

So this is old but I'm gonna talk about it anyway because I played through it again without the hype and I thought you people might be interested in that since, ya know, music games are all about hype and nobody in their right mind can honestly be enjoying all these games. Okay I'll stop ripping on people who rip on music games.

Watching a Beatles movie high
*There's obviously a lot of love that went into this title. There's just all kinds of good vibes everywhere. From the menu to the cutscenes, the animations, even without the hype this clearly is probably the pinnacle of band games until somebody gets the balls to put a plot in there realistically portraying a band.
*Great setlist. Seriously you won't find many classics missing here.
*The environments really pop out which is different for a music game . Each one is obviously unique and well crafted.
*Dreamscapes. They're cool.

Watching a Beatles movie sober
*Short. Short, short, short. I know all the work they had to go through to transport those masters but I would've waited another 6 months for maybe a dozen songs. Seriously I think we're back in the area of Guitar Hero 1 as far as number of songs.
*DLC is screwed up. I dunno who the hell determined how they were gonna break Abbey Road up but for us who got 3 free songs it kinda blows. Some people can't even get their tracks without getting the whole album thus making it not free. Thanks for nothing Harmonix.
*You play chronologically instead of tier-by-tier. This actually works well and all but it sucks when and if you run into that one track that you can't seem to five star (i.e. I Wanna Be Your Man on drums is a bitch).


Guitar Hero 5

For the first time in years I feel like Guitar Hero is going to be underrated. That's right you heard me. There's so much hate (some of it warranted, a lot of it not) against Guitar Hero that I feel like a lot of music gamers are going to miss a great opportunity here. For the very first time in a long time and a lot of entries it feels like the Guitar Hero series has got its legs again. I'll be first to admit flaws and faults with anything but dammit guys this game is good!

Blur
*They fixed everything! Seriously I don't know if Neversoft visited Harmonix Music Systems for a boot camp or what but the charts, menu navigation, everything (except the forever crappy Music Studio) has been fixed and is either useable or great. I dunno what the hell happened in between Guitar Hero: Money Printing Spin-Off Edition 7 and Guitar Hero 5 but it's fucking brilliant.
*Quick Play is so incredibly awesome. It's perfect for parties. You don't even have to go into the game anymore. You go into the intro video, a song is playing, and you drop in and start playing. And you can't fail! Good move NSoft.
*It looks real pretty.
*Good DLC. As of the time of this writing I would say the DLC is decent. Needs moar metal however.

Oasis
*Crappy importing. Just...don't even bother.
*Only decent setlist and even then a good chunk of the good ones are, rumored to be, or have been announced to be in Rock Band.
*Still doesn't have anything to drag me from Rock Band and I doubt GH ever will.
*No Doors? What the fuck?


DJ Hero

I grew up around live DJs and mash-ups. East Coast and West Coast. As my family hopped around America priority number one was which station had the best live DJs. I still remember many Friday and Saturday nights listening to the DJs on the radio while driving through some crowded highway and dancing in the car with everybody rockin' the fuck out and every time he threw a new mix on we all were like "AWMIGOD DID THEY JUST MIX THOSE TWO SONGS?" Those are some of my favorite childhood memories.

Now I don't know if the radios do that anymore or who these idiots are who are trying to convince me DJing isn't mashing songs up but it's this techno bullshit but screw you guys. DJ Hero was a no brainer purchase for me because it felt like, well, what a DJ game should be. A buncha hits smashed with obscure techno tracks or even better other similarly awesome hits. Pros and cons:

Hollaback Girl vs. Feel Good Inc.
*The majority of these remixes are really well done. Some of them put together such random tracks I would have never made the connection but now it seems so obvious. Of course Shout and Pjanno go together! DUH!
*It looks pretty. I'm glad FreeeStyle didn't have to struggle like Neversoft and Guitar Hero with finding a vibe.
*You can play as Daft Punk and it's pretty badass. Also, personal childhood hero, DJ Jazzy Jeff.
*Like Guitar Hero 5 beside it this game is very party friendly. Maybe because of the music type even moreso.
*For all of us plastic instrument addicts there is nothing like getting a brand spankin' new piece of hardware and the DJ Hero table is a proud accomplishment by it's creators. It's solid and it feels great. It may take a while for you to find your stride (I had trouble pressing buttons and scratching at first because some of my fingers, like my ring finger, were too weak to effectively scratch so now I do everything with my pointer and middle finger) but when you do you realize it's a very intuitive and simple device.

Ace Of Spades vs. Groundhog
*While there are a ton of mashes in here a lot of the songs repeat. They're not terribly bad. I think the most repeated song is Hollaback Girl (or maybe just the most noticeable) and it's only repeated thrice out of 93 mixes. This will annoy some people. I personally think every mix is different enough that if you're whining about 3 different Hollaback Girl's you're nitpicking (your average mixtape will be half of one side dedicated to only one song after all) but I can see how some people may be bothered by that.
*No more Jay-Z...ever. Unless it's Run This Town...and we edit out Kayne West.
*It's pricey. I got the Renegade Edition (totally worth it) but even the pussy regular edition is a big ol' $120 here in the states. And with all the great titles coming out this year Acti would've done good if they offered it for $80 at least through the holiday.
*Grandmaster Flash is annoying as fuck.
*No good DLC yet.
*You can't fail so arguably there's little challenge however if you suck it'll make the mix sound awful and your neighbors may personally come over and smash your head in.
*And finally yes, we get it, this game has hip-hop/dance/pop and it's not your cup of tea. Great. There are two others games for that. Rock Band and Guitar Hero.


Lego Rock Band

Last but not least is Lego Rock Band. Of all four of these games this one was the one I was the least excited about. I was unfamiliar with 90% of the setlist, it felt a lot like whoreware, and the idea of a kids music game seemed redundant to me. I was wrong. So very wrong. In fact I would argue Lego Rock Band is the best of all of these games beating out even The Beatles: Rock Band in my mind for best peripheral-based music game this year. I wouldn't trade it for the world and here's why:

Bionicle: Mask of Light
*Good setlist. Really good setlist. Songs I had forgotten about completely that I remembered from Shrek and even a Scrubs track makes an appearance here. And that's really what I admired about the setlist. After the classics and the radio rock you get songs from various popular kids movies and fun shows and you go "Oh yeah! That song!" Nothing against Band Hero (haven't played it yet) but I have to say this is a far more pleasant strategy than pulling a bunch of Top 40s tracks and I have to give Harmonix and TT props for it.
*Great Lego game humor. The game actually follows a plot, the plot is fun, and the presentation is top notch.
*Rock Power Challenge thingies are a blast. They're what Harmonix should do in replacement of music videos for Rock Band 3.
*Fills the lonely gap between this holiday season and the next when we can assume Rock Band 3 is coming out. There a lot of great ideas and things that I think they'd be fools not to bring into RB3.
*You can export the entire setlist and that's awesome. Even better perhaps is that the game let's you play select kid friendly DLC and RB1 songs. See Neversoft this is how you do a non-band specific spin-off.
*Lego Queen. I fully expect to see this at my local Toys R' Us.

Bionicle 3: Web of Shadows
*For a Lego game the customization here sucks bulloks. The character builder is my main target here. It's just...no fun. You're very limited in the number of things you can do. However I will say when you find a minifigure or a combo you like...it's adorable.
*How did this get an E10+ rating? Umm, Suddenly I See, a track you'll be playing a lot of, has the line "Why the hell," over and over.
*The songs that suck do suck A LOT. Good Charlotte, Blink-182, Rascal Flatts, Razorlight, and Incubus can all kiss my ass.
*No Bowie/Freddie duet singing Under Pressure.
*While this didn't bum me out some might be bummed that there's no online. So if you want to play these tracks online you'll have to pony up for the $10 export fee and play 'em in Rock Band 2.
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So there's my batch of mini-reviews. I got my ODST and Prince of Persia last night (literally right after beating Lego Rock Band...even when Gamefly fails they succeed).So definitely expect that lineup for the next SIDSLTITYWIWD (hmm...maybe SID is shorter). I'll probably be picking up Dragon Age next week since everyone's gushing about it and according to Elsa I can be a slut and sleep with redheads and have threesomes.

What you expect me to say no to a redhead? Bitch, please.

So I got my wisdom teeth, top and bottom, yanked out this week. You would think that would be no big deal right? Well according to my oral surgeon I need to be bed ridden for the rest of the week. So no way in hell am I going to give up that opportunity.

In the meantime, as I have said in my blog post last week, I'm poor. After attempting to use (and failing and subsequently pissing people off on) Goozex I caved in and began my Gamefly subscription this week. This coincided with Brutal Legend perfectly so that I wouldn't be bored. Well it's 48 hours after my surgery and I beat all three games...already...dammit.


Brütal Legend
After reading the DToid review I didn't know where my excitement fell when I popped in BL for the first time this week. My hope was that being a huge metalhead (Lamb of God introduced me to music), having a high tolerance for repetition, and pure hype would blind me to any faults of the game. Overall however I have to say that BL was actually a damn good game. Far better than I think it has gotten credit for. I think a lot of people believe BL's fault lies in it trying to do too much without doing anything particularly well. Or at least Gabe and Tycho have convinced me of that. I call bollocks! BL was a damn fine hack n' slash as well as an easy to play RTS. Here are my pros (Megadeth) and cons (Metallica):

Megadeth
*If you're a metalhead this game will be right up your alley. This shit was built by fans for fans and it's obvious.
*The cast and characters are fucking metal. Jack Black finds his perfect stride, Ozzy is as lovably annoying as ever, and the old debate of who is sexier, Lemmy Kilmister or Lita Ford, will once again cause dysfunctional cubicles.
*Epic battles. Seriously.
*Balances strategy and action. This is where things get fickle but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say BL did a great job at balancing things. While it feels awkward to switch up tactics it's not impossible and strategy players and action players both have a fair shot at victory so I consider that balance.
*Beautiful world with some of the most kickass artwork this side of an Iron Maiden LP.

Metallica
*Short, short, short.
* Repetitive.
*Seriously, does Ozzy have to speak every time I pick something to buy?
*Reminds me that Lita Ford will never accept my many sexual advances. Hmph.


Batman: Arkham Asylum
I won't harp on this game. It's amazing. If you haven't played it then do so. I got it from Gamefly and easily feel like it would've been worth the $60. Pros and cons:

Heath Ledger
*Just feels like old school gaming. Just really tight controls without all the flash and dash that currently floods gaming. All the genre mashing and such. Bleck! Gimme old school action/adventure. No FPS/RPG/RTS/Puzzle/Racing sim crap.
*Totally nerdworthy. Seriously I so dig the cast here.
*A Serious House On Serious Earth, the games loose source, equals victory.
*Great atmosphere.
*Harley Quinn. Mmm...tasty.

Jack Nicholson
*Where's Two Face? Seriously. Did I miss something here? Why not make the cast perfect?
*Was it just me or did the difficulty take a giant leap about 3/4 of the way through?
*Made me think ditry thoughts about Harley Quinn...still not sure how I feel about that.


WET
Whoo! Okay let me say this game completely blew my mind. I was not expecting this game to be nearly as fun and memorable as it was. Critics be damned! I loved this game. It's just flat out fun. As a huge grindhouse (or technically exploitation films) fan this felt like a fan-to-fan game much like in Brutal Legend. Pros and cons:

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
*Damn good writing. Seriously Eliza Dushku. Do yo' thang.
*I like the color scheme. That's gonna sound weird but if you've ever seen an aged exploitation film you know how the colors can just grab a mood. It's pretty neat and WET has got that in spades.
*Action packed. Shooting, slicing, and epic car chases. I hear some people complaining about how the slow-mo slows the game down but I was totally fine with it. It didn't bug me at all. Plus the swords were cooler than the guns anyway.
*Amazing soundtrack.
*Rubi Malone is the hottest woman in gaming. NO ARGUING!

Zombie Strippers
*I really wish they gave Rubi more of a history. Why is this sexy woman so pissed off all the time? Seriously.
*No other memorable characters other than Rubi.
*Gunplay felt a little gimpy to me. It definitely could've been tightened up.

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I have nothing even attempting to model intelligence this week but I'm having a good week. I just finished these gems and just felt like sharin'. Next week is DJ Hero! DJ HERO!!! And whatever games Gamefly sends my way of course.

I like money. I do. Always have, always will. I like making money almost as much as spending money. Oh how I love spending money. Like a rapper at a whore convention. In fact even the most excruciating of task I will do with a smile if I could have money. Hell I'd be a prostitute if I didn't have the weak body and soul of a 12 year old. But alas I love money. I dig it.

I've been an off and on gamer all my life. Certain parts of my life I endulge in it and other times I kick it to the curb in favor of, well, a life. So right now I'm slipping back into that Getting Into It Phase and I have to say there's something that's changed immensly since I left this beloved hobby of mine a few years back:

THIS SHIT IS EXPENSIVE!



No seriously! This shit is expensive! You know how much it cost to do this stuff? In the last 6 months since I've gotten back on the saddle I've spent more than I spent last year on entertainment total (this year so far I've spent $250 and maybe $150 in DLC). And you know how many games I have to show for it? Four. Four games, an XBL Indie game (which to be fair was $1), and a ton of Rock Band DLC which I play every weekend. I dunno about you guys but that bothers me. I have four games right now and I still play one of them. Well I plan on popping The Beatles back in when Abbey Road comes out but until then the only game to stay constantly spinning in my 360 is Mass Effect. And that's only until I feel my Shepard is up to snuff for ME2 next year. This hobby is fucking pricey.

But to be fair, well, it's kind of always been that way. Back in the days of cartridges we were dropping massive bones too ($80 if memory serves). It's kind of just been industry accepted that we're willing to pay big bucks for the experience of an interactive (and thanks to DLC ever expanding) medium. And now with peripheral gaming on the scene it's only become pricier. I have a $200 preorder for DJ Hero and I have to say as much as I am looking forward to the game $200 is what I, as a kid who didn't pay for his gaming, expected a console to cost.



It's not all bad. I mean some of the purchases are well worth it. For example I think the Rock Band bundle(s) are very much so worth it because they kind of are like consoles. Every week there's a new influx of content, the core of the game is solid, and with each true sequel my hundreds of dollars worth of DLC and on-disc songs carry over. Bravo Harmonix and bravo MTV Games.

And being an American means I still get some of the cheapest gaming around. Aussies and Europeans are still paying out the ass for games I can get brand spankin' new for $5-$10 less than asking price if I shop around. Hell of all my preorders I'm only paying full price for DJ Hero. The only guys I'd rather be in a financial gaming bind might be Canadians. And that's only sometimes.

And then I have to wonder how much of it is my own doing. After all I didn't need that $200 Renegade Edition DJ Hero. I could've settled for the standard package. And after all the only reason they release this shit at these prices is because punks like me buy it. And it's Activision! How doth the stains of mine sins disgust the saints!



Anyway this shit is expensive. And it's not like I'm even buying the games that will make me cool. No I have no plans of buying MW2, Dragon Age, hell I'm still iffy on buying Borderlands with the the Amazon credit I got. In the following weeks I'll be milking Brutal Legend, DJ Hero, and Lego Rock Band for all their worth.

I mean who are you people with your mountains of gaming goodness? Are you geniuses? Sons and daughters of wealthy bachelors or bachelorettes? Can I have their numbers? Am I doing it wrong?

....don't answer that last one.

Also: Gamefly, how is it?

Okay so here's the deal. If you have read any of my comments regarding anything about buying anything (or more specifically the evil PSPgo) then you would know that I have a very teeny tiny income. It's pretty ridiculous and can barely sustain a healthy gaming diet. Plus, I won't lie, about 70% of that goes toward Rock Band DLC. Don't hate.

But Rocktober is looking like a good month for me. Brutal Legend, the Abbey Road DLC, and DJ Hero are all looking well within my budget. But of course typical me can't save up money without toying with temptation and my biggest stumbling block on the road to fiscal prosperity has been and always will be Craigslist.

Recently while looking for a DS with which to Scribblenaut all over I stumbled upon a chap selling a 20GB PS3 (the model with BC) for $150. Fuckin' sweet. I was planning on getting a white Slim with controllers Q1 next year from Colorware but I'd be lying if I didn't say it would kick ass to have one of the few PS3s with BC. It's not like it's that big of a deal for me, not at all, but it would certainly kick ass and buying it for $150 and then sending it to Colorware to get it painted would be WAY cheaper than the $800 for a white Slim with four white controllers that I was gonna buy before (DON'T CRITICIZE MY SPENDING!).

Problem is if I buy this thing than there goes my entire Rocktober which wold suck for obvious reasons. I'm finally making enough to buy games day one and it rocks but dude that PS3 is looking mighty sweet.

Should I sacrifice my Rocktober dreams for a PS3 or just hope another one comes along and, ya know, quit spazzing out?

The brain is typically used for thinking. Or so I'm told. Mine basically acts as a round the clock porn projector that occasionally takes a break to advertise to me the To Do list of that day. However whilst taking a break I happened to stumble across a tiny nugget of a thought and I figured since I have been so deeply steeped in the DToid community lately (as steeped as prowling around on the front page can be) I would share with you my thoughts. Specifically on how the internet changes us and how these effects are good, bad, and we need, yes need, to feel these affects.

How does it change us?

Simple. It maks us feel empowered. Somehow the anamoly of anonymity makes the user feel as if he or she can do, say, or be anything. It's a strange affect that one can argue is exclusive to the faceless universe of the internet. If you were a anonymous person walking into a grocery store would you go to the cashier, call her a cunt, and run out? I would hope not because then I would have to report you to your local insane asylum. But the internet is different and not always in a negative way. Sometimes the anonymity allows us to learn from those who normally wouldn't accept us. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

In short the internet makes us feel like we've stepped into a whole new world where no one knows you, where you can develop your own persona in your own community of your choice, and to the gamer who chases the thrill of escapism this is especially captivating.

The negative:

I want to get this out of the way because I'm probably not preaching any new commandments here. Power produces pimpled douchebags. This has been true since forever. Since long before the internet. Truth be told we all probably had a little bit of troll in us at one time or another even without the internet. But we contained ourselves like the good little social servants we were. With the internet however trolling tweens (and would you believe it even trolling adults) use the power of anonymity for evil.

With the power of anonymity any old dickwad can swoosh in, stomp all over your good time pie, and swoosh out with at most a temporary ban until he finds a workaround. The ironic part is, being an ex-Xbox fanboy and mad hatter of a troll myself back in my early teen years, when most trolls receive a swift banning or just plain disapproval from the community the majority of them come back under new IDs and assume completely logical and likable personas. I know. I've done it, I've seen it done, I know how it works and trust me you think you're getting nowhere by pissing on trolls but it's just a game and like any other game when they're done playing it's back to reality.

Yes Gene Eric may very well be another totally likable dude around here. Believe me or not I don't care but I shit you not good people it wouldn't surprise me at all.

That's the negative of the internet. It's not trolls or fanboys or even disruptive dickbags (that is to say a bag of dicks being thrown and disrupting everything). It's the paranoia that can often follow after a bit of experience with these asshats. We've seen it done with our very own Jim Sterling who tries to give his own fair assumption of all the shiznit he sees in the industry and is blasted time and time again by these people who so often believe everything on the internet has some hidden motive to bend over and take a shit on their dreams. And out of paranoia you get trolls, fanboys, dickbags, who blindly follow their weapon of choice and attack even the smallest threat or possible threat.

The last negative I want to dwell on is just how easy it is to forget your place on the internet. This is one I think we talk less about. If you were face to face with, oh let's see, Steve Jobs let's say; I can't honestly believe you would say to Steve Job's face what you might say to him on the internet if you didn't like him. Or we could take a universally panned figure like Bobby Kotick. I know you're getting all hot and bothered already. Down boy. Shut up and listen. Bobby Kotick is a successful motherfucker. I'm not saying you wouldn't tell Kotick to fuck off but I'm certainly sure you wouldn't put it in those exact words. At least not if you didn't wanted to be sent to the aforementioned insane asylum. I remember telling myself I fucking hated Jessica Simpson and if I met her it wouldn't phase me in the slightest. Then I met her and wouldn't you know there is more to Jessica Simpson then being a famous-for-no-reason retardo. I knew from the moment I shook her hand I wasn't about to tell this lady to fuck off. Maybe give her some career advice, tell her I didn't dig her style, why, that sorta shit, hell we even had a mini-argument but nothing as intense as fuck off came to mind. She was the bitch on the magazines and tv, she had done something, whether it was give great head or whatever it was, to get where she was and I wasn't about to try and outdo that with some hate speech.

Here in this dilated tapestry we forget our place in the real world and it can slightly skew our view of reality. I'm not saying success equals superiority but surely my friends success doth equal respect, no?

The positive:

Whew. Okay lemme go get a glass of birch beer. Ahh, okay I'm chill now.

I wanted to put the positive second to reward you for putting up with the obvious and infuriating negatives. The first major positive is something the DToid community has in buckets: community. The internet provides a sense of community that can almost be touched or even tasted (for the record it taste like a glazed German doughnut and a thousand dollar latte). I coulda sworn during pre-PAX and PAX...and post-PAX....and then post-post-PAX...somebody somewhere was shedding a tear of joy. Here in the intrawebz we take our newly formed or merely refined selves and we bask in a sea of ideas and opinions and these idea and opinions stitch us all together. Having a community purely formed around that fact and not social status or looks or whatever is really only something that can exist on the internet. If you have a strong opinion or strong ideas (oh and put those ideas to work) you have a strong say here. If Jim didn't have such a loud voice and a strong way of putting his thoughts on this blog would you really care nearly as much? No. If Colette didn't have such awesome contest ideas she'd probably just blend in. And it extends to the community too. When I read the comments I can tell, usually by avatar, who can put up a worthwhile read of three pargraphs or not. And it's not based on education or even similar interest to some extent like your typical schoolyard community. It's based on the strength of your opinionations.

The communities on the internetz, especially here and especially to the gamer trying to explore diferent parts of himself through artfully crafted characters, tales, and scenarios, are the kind that can only exist through the power of anonymity.

And finally, anonymity, given to us by the power of whatever the hell the internet really is, allows us to talk. We can speak our minds about whatever without fear of any radical judgment or any dangerous consequence (well there's the extreme like don't come here and give us some terrorist plot in detail). I betchu there are a ton of people on here who are strong opinionators but not really loud speakers. People who, if put in a room to assess a situation with a group of friends, would form a strong opinion but wouldn't be very vocal. I'm that way sometimes. I just don't talk unless I really think I have too. I just don't really care too much. But here on the internet for some reason I feel loosened up. I feel like I can write pages worth of an opinion for an incredibly inactive blog that will be appreciated by like 3 people and still say I did something with an hour of my day that I'm proud of. Will it change the world? I don't give a damn. I'm anonymous, I'm nobody, it doesn't matter, it's not history, hell it's not even a footnote to a footnote of history. The same feeling of invisibility trolls appreciate to piss all over the yard is the same thing that strengthen some of the greatest opinionators and defenders an internet community might have ever seen.

We can learn from these people, argue with these people, and at the end of the day hopefully feel like we actually did something with our time and not just sitting around punching buttons.

Why are these affects important?

Because it's safe to assume that at that moment in time that either a positive or a negative affects you that is who you really are or maybe who you aspire to be. I aspire to be a wise ass who talks a lot but still has something to say and quite frankly fucking loves his tunes. Is that who I am? Not really. I do love my tunes quite fucking much but I don't talk very much unless I'm comfortable and I'm certainly not a wise ass. Shit I'm more of a pussy than anybody here. Trust me. But in my head this version of me, Xzyliac, is what I want to sound like and who I like to think I sound like at the point in time when I click "Add Comment." We need that. We need some sort of release like that.

The communal release isn't new either. Before the internet we wrote opinionated letters to the newspapers under assumed identities to let out that alter ego. David Bowie creates fantastical characters for the songs he write, Jack Nicholson takes on a variety of roles to explore himself, and Howard Stern does, well, whatever the fuck Howard Stern does. He's on the radio so I'm assuming he lets out a fair share of himself that he'd never replicate on the street. And of course there are diaries for peronal true persona release and even politics are, by nature, an attempt to sell who you want to be and disregarding who you are.

Focusing on the internet however hese effects are important because the power granted to you, is the power to be yourself, as pure or fiction as you'd like.

In the internetz you can fly!!!1!11!

Also: Yay new banner!