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1:26 PM on 06.11.2011

Pedobear Review: CHILD of EDEN

"Dude, Awesome."

Child of Eden is the ultimate evolution of games like Space Harrier, Panzer Dragoon, and Rez.

First, allow me to give you my take on Child of Eden's story:

September 11th 2019, the first human is born on the International Space Station, her name is Lumi.
She grew up to have a very beautiful voice and enjoyed singing to the people living on Earth. She was probably more popular than Beyonce and Janet Jackson combined.

When Lumi eventually died, Lumi's body was preserved and her thoughts and memories were archived.
Ahhh, the wonders of technology.

Centuries later, people are still on the Internet, but it's called Eden now.
The scientists of the 23rd century wanted to infuse Eden with a personality, so they decided to use the Lumi archives, probably because she was so amazing. Her persona and beauty are now apart of Eden.

Again, the wonders of technology.

The problem is, some kind of cosmic virus is attacking Eden as a whole, and it's your Kinecting job of saving the Internet AND the girl.

Are you game?

From the moment you put your hand out towards the main-menu, you'll see just how improved Kinect controls have become.

Super fluid 60 FPS graphics really help to compliment the Kinect feeling. You'll be moving the on-screen targeting reticle around at a damn-near 1:1 ratio, and it feels very snappy. (Even better than the Dashboard's cursor control). You can tell they spent a long time trying to perfect this feeling. If you don't like the default setting there are options to adjust how it feels. Much respect goes to Q? Entertainment here.

During gameplay your right hand is your lock-on lasers. You can select up to 8 enemies on screen just by passing your hand over them. To unleash your attack, just push forward! Very satisfying feeling here.

Your left hand is your rapid-fire "Tracer" attack, constantly blasting the screen with colored light bullets wherever you like. There are specific enemies who are more vulnerable to your 2 main attacks.. you will learn how to use them as the game progresses.

There is an alternate way to play, where both hands shoot the same attack, and you can clap your hands together to switch between the 2 weapons.

Graphics are incredibly crisp, and a joy to look at. This is pure eye-candy, with alot to see and interact with. One of my favorite Kinect moments was when there are literally thousands of colored blocks on the screen that you can seemingly push around with your hands.. such an amazing effect. Stoners will be in heaven here.

As you play and shoot down enemies, you can sometimes collect a health item or "Euphoria" attack, which clears the screen of enemies if you raise both hands.

At any time you can press a button on your controller to play with it instead, and press the 'Back button' to instantly revert to Kinect mode.

By the way, we finally have a Kinect game that isn't taking photos of you jumping around in your t-shirt & briefs and saving them for your friends to see later. You only ever see your silhouette briefly in the top corner when Kinect is adjusting to you.

Music Sound and Gameplay infusion!

I hope you like good electronic music! Each level you'll be experiencing has its own vibe, the music is always very progressive - sometimes soothing, sometimes pumping, always fun to be part of as you play. Turn up the bass if you can because every level has a funky beat. Not enough bass?

From the options menu you can sync up to 4 controllers to vibrate independently to the beat of the music and your actions in the game...

I'm not suggesting that you tuck a controller or 4 in your pants while Kinecting- but if you did, you would have vibrational feedback during a Kinect experience for the first time. Crazy? Yes, Fun? Yeaaaa it is.

There's a good number of unlockables in the game, from "pets" for the main menu, to visual filters for gameplay. Replay value is there.

Child of Eden is a visual and auditory treat that I fully recommend to anyone looking for a different experience from their videogames. This is the best "Better with Kinect" game thus far, hell- it might be the best Kinect game period.

Seems like we've got another "Games as Art" contender here!

I have a few issues with number scores, but here's my best shot:
If you compare Child of Eden against all regular Xbox 360 titles, this game is great! 8/10
If you treat Kinect as a platform, then Child of Eden may be the best title available for it. 10/10

Pedobear Kinecting with Child (of Eden)
-Xbudz   read

1:57 AM on 04.08.2011

Mr. Destructoid 3DS AR card.

Now you can go virtual fishing while Mr. Destructoid watches. Try it on from the screen for some birds-eye view fun!

Poster it.   read

9:38 PM on 04.06.2011

Pigeon Panic in Game Store

Hey guys, let's find out what happens when I try to record a video while attempting to "help" a pigeon out of the Microplay game store I work at..


[embed]198299:37510[/embed]   read

8:29 AM on 01.12.2011

StarFox running on PS3 Jailbreak 3.55

[embed]191451:35371[/embed]   read

11:05 PM on 09.26.2010

Playstation Move Alternate Use

[embed]184910:33547[/embed]   read

9:26 PM on 01.30.2009

Nintendo in 2025:

Oh hai...sorry about that, my 360 is on the verge of death so I've got just a little more spare time now. You know what's fucked up? I would totally play Pokemon if it looked like that.

-Xbudz   read

4:03 AM on 09.09.2008

SPORE TREK - Enterprise

This video is available in high quality on Youtube.


I used the Spore Spaceship Creator to make my own version of the USS Enterprise: NCC-1701.

Feel free to check out my other videos as well.

Enjoy!   read

11:58 PM on 08.29.2008

Drunken Castle Crashers Glitch


"Sorry, I was drunk while making this video.
Don't mind my fucking laugh please... omg, why did I post this."   read

11:25 AM on 08.07.2008

Soul Calibur 4: RAIDEN vs SCORPION

Warning: Video will be blocky and pixelated unless viewed in High Quality on Youtube.


Hope you enjoy it.

Please check out my other custom character video: HE-MAN vs SKELETOR!   read

2:08 AM on 08.04.2008

Soul Calibur 4: HE-MAN vs SKELETOR.

Warning: Video will be blocky and pixelated unless viewed in High Quality on Youtube.


Hopefully this one is considered to be better than my last Soul Calibur 4 video. XD.   read

8:27 PM on 08.02.2008

Skin Calibur 4


Blurry & Pixelated?
Watch the video on Youtube so you can select "Watch in high quality".   read

9:40 PM on 07.15.2008

Bungie cancels SUPERINTENDENT reveal?

^^ Check it out over at

Say it aint so Bungie!
There were all set to reveal whatever Superintendent was by tomorrow morning...
But apparently their publisher has changed plans on them?

Strange... there is something fishy about the above image tho... for one- it's signed by Harold Ryan, President of Bungie LLC...

Is he really president? Also, the letter has a timestamp of 7:00pm, and Bungie certainly loves the number 7...

It's probably nothing, but man- I was excited to see what this announcement was going to be.


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