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I'm a 26-year old English writer, formerly known on the CBlogs as Xandaça. I've been an avid gamer since I was a wee lad, gripping a NES controller in my hands and comprehensively failing to get past those infuriating Hammer Bros on Level 8-3 of Super Mario Bros. I've stuck with Nintendo since then (not for any animosity towards the other console makers of course - Nintendo just make games I enjoy and have grown up with), apart from a brief sojourn with a Sony PlayStation, several woeful attempts to play Half-Life 2 using a laptop touchpad and sporadically wrangling a turn on my sister's beloved Sega Saturn.

In addition to burping out the occasional novel, I'm a passionate critic, writing reviews and articles of films, book and games for my school magazine and university newspaper, for which I created and edited its film section. In addition to starting up my own blog, covering television, games and movies, I am also a writer for Destructoid's cine-geek sister Flixist. While primarily a film geek, the evolution of the games industry over the course of its short lifetime has fascinated me and provided vast quantities of content for some incendiary pieces of work - perhaps a few more might spring up on here?

My Favourite Games of All Time (because who doesn't love having a few Of All Time lists?) are GoldenEye 007 (which I still play through at least once a year to remind me of its glories), Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, Gunstar Heroes, Super Mario Bros 3 (I don't know who told Shigsy Miyamoto-san that raccoons could fly, but I'll love them forever) and No More Heroes.

I hope you find great enjoyment in my many scribings, and please keep an eye out for upcoming news on my novel(s) and do pay a visit to my blog sometime. And yes, the Dtoid community's 'no copy and paste' rule will be fully respected!

Good gaming, everyone!
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I wanted to write a Monthly Musing last month but couldn't find the time, so was a tad despondent when this month's topic turned out to be something I'd already written a full blog post on a while back, which you can read here. Fortunately, since my Wii was totalled by Black Ops last week, I started playing a few of the games on my Steam account I hadn't used for a while, one of which was Ice-Pick Lodge's magnificent The Void.

Now when I say magnificent, I'm talking about the overall experience, judged retroactively after the game has been turned off rather than during play. There are some games that are immediately enjoyable, where every second spent in that world is a new joy: The Void is not one of those games. The closest analogy I can draw is that Ice-Pick Lodge's games are like reading a difficult but brilliant novel. Each page is a struggle and often makes you question whether the effort will be worth the end result, yet you keep on trucking because every time you put the book down, there is a sense of pride as much at decyphering the author's complex creation as at your own sheer perseverance. When reading James Joyce's Ulysses, supposedly the most 'difficult' book ever written, I barely understood a word of what was going on, yet there was something intoxicating about participating in this new kind of reading and a delight every time I did pick up some scrap of coherence or obscure reference and was able to cast just a tiny bit more light on the meaning of the baffling text. I even ended up going to re-read chapters in case there was something I missed (which usually turned out to be everything), an odd path to choose in order to reach the end of a 1,000 page book whose final chapter comprises a 30-page long sentence.



The point I'm circuitously arriving at is that reading Ulysses was an enriching experience, despite proving in equal terms frustrating and infuriating over the weeks it took me to reach the end. Sometimes I feel like doing it all over again, before realising that an unread, several-inches-thick edition of The Divine Comedy is still staring at me from my bookshelf. (And despite what EA would have me believe, I'm told it involves little to no epic scale slaughter of the damned.) Ice-Pick Lodge are the only developer I've found to have tapped into the power of the difficult read for gaming: The Void makes you work and work and work, often into dead-ends where you have to start all over again, yet making progress, even if it is measured in inches over days, feels more rewarding than any other game I've played. The original Dead Rising was much more user-friendly, yet flirted with this nuance with its single save file, strict three-day time limit and high entry level difficulty. Many people complained, yet when concessions were made for the sequel, something was lost in the satisfaction of pulling off a well-executed plan within the space of a single day. Both are very enjoyable games - I wrote a review DR2 a while back, awarding a respectable 7/10, but it was lost in the limbo of Destructoid's short-lived flirtation with Mammoth - but as unfriendly as the original game could be, it was to me a more rewarding and engrossing experience for the suffering it sometimes put me through.

The average gamer, it must be said, is not really accustomed to having to fight for their rewards. There are of course the über-hardcore who spend days in front of a flashing screen to gain three extra points on the latest bullet-hell shooter, but the vast majority of players are pandered to by developers worried that the last third of their multi-million dollar extravaganza will go unseen unless every puzzle can be solved in under a minute and no enemy able to cause more than a scratch on the protagonist's armour (with myriad checkpoints in place just in case, Miyamoto forbid, something should go wrong). The million-selling success of games like Demon's Souls and Monster Hunter Tri prove that there is an audience out there who don't want to be held by the hand through a game and don't need to be constantly rewarded to keep playing, yet there seems as little enthusiasm on the part of even indie developers to explore the power of the negative experience in their games as there is in gamers ready to reflect on how sometimes the 'bad' parts of a game actually make the good parts better and improve the overall experience. I talk about No More Heroes a lot so will be brief here, but I remain absolutely convinced that the reason the sequel was in some circles felt less engaging as the original was because it was made more user-friendly. The much criticised side-jobs (lawnmowing, etc) might have been boring for the three minutes they took to complete, but not only made the game's action sequences more exciting by contrast but also added a layer of thematic depth to the story. I wrote at length about NMH in one of my very early Cblog posts, so go here if you're interested in a more extensive analysis of the game.



There is a difference between a difficult game, which can be a challenging version of a familiar and accessible scenario, and one which is brave enough to manipulate its players' negative emotions. Sadness, anger, powerlessness and boredom are a part of everyday life and while many would argue that games should be an escape from those things, they are also emotions which can enhance the positives and elevate an experience, be it a book or a film or a game, to a level where you feel better for having gone through it and maybe even teaches you something about yourself. I'm not going to pretend that gaming is the only medium where those kinds of experiences are kept outside the mainstream, but it is a medium that more than most seems fixated on the short-term reward, constantly throwing treats to its players to entice them a little further towards the end. There's nothing wrong with that, but it does result in a lot of games feeling emotionally flat and forgettable. In games like Call of Duty, that's fine: who wants to feel something when there's shooting to be done and kill/death ratios to increase? It would be interesting though to play a war game that challenged gamers to take in the boredom, or the more mundane difficulties, of being a soldier, rather than a constant flood of viscera and explosions. If combat only broke out once or twice in a game where the vast majority of time was spent performing menial tasks, those moments would be absolutely heart-pounding, especially if combined with the permadeath which AwesomeExMachina so eloquently advocated in his Monthly Musings post.

I don't know or much care whether games can be considered art, but I do know that when I look at many great works of art, they inspire a mix of positive and negative emotions and challenge the way I would normally look at life. When I play games, the emphasis almost always seems on positive things, be it offering regular doses of success or looking visually attractive, for example. (Ice-Pick Lodge's Pathologic is one of the few games I've played with the courage to be genuinely - and deliberately - unpleasant to look at, yet is stronger for it.) Games might not need to be art, but it wouldn't hurt to step back and take some inspiration from it. Van Gogh's depression caused some of the most stunning paintings ever put to canvas. James Joyce's Ulysses expanded my views on what could be achieved and conveyed through literature. Ice-Pick Lodge's The Void inspired me to come up with a topic for this Monthly Musing. Sometimes a little suffering can go a long way.

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I think that Call of Duty: Modern Warfare did actually try to address some negativity in the nuke death scene. They actually played on the player's emotions of being a gamer. We expected our little guy to crawl out of the chopper, to get up, gradually regain health - and go kill some bad guys. When you die - it was actually a shock.
The same holds true for another segment of the game where you have to lie in a field. You're told to look down. If you peek, the enemy actually see you and it's section over, start again. It's incredibly difficult to lie there and look down, not up, not sideways, just down (especially when you can hear vehicles, movement, conversation of enemy soldiers near you).

Some games do try to incorporate negative emotions or impulses into the game and succeed - even when they are mainstream successful games.

Anyway, I know it's not the same thing as a game that devotes itself to exploring emotions/gameplay values more than games usually do, but just wanted to add that some games do try... a bit anyway.

Awesome musing... and now I'm off to check out your review of The Adjustment Bureau!! :)
I never read Ulysses, but have read "A portrait of the Artist As A Young Man", and it bored me. It started out pretty well, but as I kept reading each paragraph, I got a picture of James Joyce jerking off in front of the mirror. Well, my choice of words can't express it correctly so I would let randy from South Park show you how James Joyce looked like when he wrote the book.

The problem is that the kind of challenge that you're referring to is indistinguishable from genuinely bad gameplay. Mostly because it IS genuinely bad gameplay that is, I assume, implemented to fulfil a higher purpose.

I still haven't made my mind up on whether everything outside of the boss battles in NMH being mindless, repetitive and boring (to greater and lesser degrees) is actually meant to be some sort of statement or not. I want to give Suda the benefit of the doubt but it's precisely for the reason that those aspects of the game were "improved" upon in the sequel that I have second thoughts.
If your words were a person, they would be Thor.

Yeah, sorry, you can thank Monday for that one. Great read, as ever.
@Elsa: That was an interesting little scene, but undermined by the rest of the game being so gung-ho, plus the player no doubt having died countless times before, and the player-characters being pretty much indistinguishable from each other. The ambition is to be applauded, but it was a very isolated moment in a game that didn't really suit it.

@VenusInFurs: Covered in ectoplasm?

@Vali: I think that in many cases where the use of negative emotion has worked before, it has been difficult to work out whether the design was intentional. However, I think that the aforementioned Ice-Pick Lodge games prove that 'negative emotion' gameplay can be designed deliberately and with a specific ambition that it achieves, rather than coming across as broken or misjudged (as some people said the NMH mini-games of being).

@Beyamor: AND THE INTERNETS IS MY MJOLNIR! (That's the best compliment I've ever had, by the way, so thanks!)
Heh, I remember a few summers back I thought I would "tackle the big dog" and read Ulysses. I didn't get too far :p

Interesting read! I like hard games, but it has to be a fair challenge. When the games rules are inconsistent or you are met with random or arbitrary obstacles or the game relies on the player exploiting glitches, it becomes less and less fulfilling and more about just getting past annoyances.

For example I really liked Ninja Gaiden Black, I thought it was a REALLY tough game that rewarded quick reactions, memorization, and knowledge about the game system. It could be frustrating as hell, but when I died I could often point to a mistake I made rather than the game being unfair. Ninja Gaiden 2 however just felt punishing. I managed to work my way through the game on normal but never got far on the next difficulty up, let alone attempt the Grand Master setting. Enemies that would fire projectiles off screen, random explosive shurikens chain flinching you to death, boss attacks that would sometimes come out one way but than another way the next, ugh. When I beat something in that game it didn't really feel like I figured it out, rather I just got lucky. I was further disappointed when I looked up some of the more challenging areas on Youtube and saw that the more effective strategies for the game usually involved exploiting a glitch or a hiccup in the AI.

Actually, I could have skipped rambling like this and just linked to TVTropes entry on Fake Difficulty! As long as a game is hard without falling into one of the listed pitfalls its golden!
@Xander Markham

Not to echo too much what Wrenchfarm was also saying, it's just that I think that a lot of negative emotions can be aroused through fair gameplay rather than broken. Frustration definitely, Super Meat Boy was engaging and fun while being frustrating at the same time (but never unfair). As soon as a game starts throwing out unfair challenge I start to lose interest in it because it's lazily using poor game design when the same effect could be achieved through finely tuned good game design instead.

I don't know how some emotions like boredom could ever be a product of good game design and maybe there's some positive outcome from abusing boredom (NMH again). Would you elaborate on what purpose Ice-Pick Lodge's design choices are made? Maybe it's me being stupid and missing it but I couldn't find any mention in the article of the "thematic layer" that their bad gameplay choices add.
I just woke up from a nap and my brain functions like a square wheel after a nap. Thank you for the mental stimulus and great read.

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