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The Star Wars MMO is the one that's most appealing to me; the idea of a single-player orientated game in an MMO universe appeals to me greatly, because I hate people. Plus my wife wants to play it, so that's always a plus.
While WoW is definately a unique case among mmos, I'd like to make a few points in FFXIs favour. You can't really blAme a game that came out in 2002 for it's 2003 graphics, particularly when the lead platform was the ps2. The playonline viewer is definately an annoyance.
Beyond that though the game isn't that bad. It requires a few hours investment until you reach level 12ish, but at that point it becomes a party oreiented game much faster than world of Warcraft. And while most of what you'll be doing is killing random enemies the same could be said of wow albiet in a much more directed quest structure.
FFXI isn't for everyone, and it's ultimately not user-friendly enough to compete with WoW. But it's an excellent more multiplayer oriented game for people tired of Warcraft's single player levelling or militant raids.
Oh, and as another quick side point, EVE online and guild Wars are not places to go for people seeking WoW alternatives. They are drastically different types of gameplay. I'm surprised you didn't find appeal in LOTR's copycat approach :p
@THEFIL - To be honest, if I had played Final Fantasy XI back when it first came out I think my opinion would of been completley different - I most likley would of loved it.
Also, I saw straight through LOTR Online's shenanigans after playing the free trial a while ago :D
Thefil is correct. EVE and Guild Wars are totally different from WoW. I have played Guild Wars from the beginning, and I can't stand WoW. I tried to get into it a few times, but the grinding is so blatant and the graphics so terrible that I just couldn't.
FFXI > WoW
You've just got to play other games. There is no alternative for WoW, really, and the only way to fill the void is by doing other things.
WoW is one of the most polished games ever, and it's damn good. If you're trying to stop for time constraints (like I did), or whatever other reason you had, you just have to find other things to do and not think about it. I had a ton of friends that would always talk about it when I tried to quit, and I inevitably went back.
ANYWAY. I'm looking forward to TOR, and that's it MMO-wise really. I need all that time I spent playing wow to play other games that I want to finish, and do other things :)