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WriterSteve avatar 9:09 AM on 01.16.2012  (server time)
Battlefield 3: The Big Boys are Being Mean to Me

I've been playing a lot of Battlefield 3 (because my dog didn't eat it) and I've come to the conclusion that all people are hateful bastards. That isn't fair. Most people are hateful bastards and some people (me) are the victims of their spite.

In short, I suck at flying the planes and helicopters because the moment you spawn into either of them, some arsehole comes swooping down and riddles your sweet ride full of bullets before you can lift off the tarmac. I actually got off the ground once, but before I could get used to the controls I had two heat-seeking missiles crammed up my ass and I went hurtling to earth in a flaming ball of inadequacy.

But I do make a damn fine fireball.

These people circle the enemy airfield and blow up any vehicle that has the bare-faced cheek to spawn there. Yes, it's a good tactic to prevent the enemy gaining air superiority, but this is a goddamn game and it's supposed to be fun. Instead, I usually find myself climbing into the AA turrent and attempting to shoot down the sons of bitches, which is pretty much impossible where planes are concerned. So, I spend a ton of time away from the actual action, because I want to inflict some pain on the smug pricks soaring gracefully through the skies.

I once managed to spawn in a helicopter at the start of a match and thought I might finally be able to get a bit of air time going. Instead, I tilted around wildly, shot a building and then crashed into a pylon, killing myself and the two poor souls who climbed in there with me. And all because I can't practice with the bloody things.

Don't get me wrong, the ground warfare is awesome, and I'm no slouch with a sniper rifle, but I'd really like to get up in the sky and start bombing some bitches into a messy crater. I feel like I'm being denied a section of the multiplayer because a bunch of selfish dicks want to level their aircraft without actually having to do any dogfighting.

However, I'm stubborn and I'll keep trying even in the face of impossible odds, but I'm getting real tired of looking at my vehicle stats and seeing a big 'ole zero next to the plane section (I've levelled my chopper stats by riding shotgun).

Maybe I'm just making excuses for my suckiness.



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