Sometimes getting what you want out of Santa takes some effort. But, the old bastard has been around a long time and has some tricks of his own to dash our holiday dreams. The following is cautionary tale:

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You know Dasher and Dancer
and the rest of the pack.
Comet and Cupid
and all of that crap.

But who does Claus call,
when he's playing some
Christmas hardball?

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
is always Santa's go-to bitch.
He's there to get the job done
when the Fat Man's really in a pinch.

All of the elves avoid him.
And the reindeer won't even speak his name.
He lives in secluded hermitdom
so their BS won't affect his game.

Then one week before Christmas Eve
Santa came to say:
"Rudolph with your nose so red,
'fill' this box up just for Ted."

Oh how the reindeer giggled
as he filled it up with 'glee'.
Ted's getting poop for Christmas
instead of a PS3!



GU Comics for 12/18/2007: "Giving Ted a Gift"