F**K YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS/PROTOPLASMIC BEINGS. Can you tell I didn't get a Valentines card today? Because I totally DIDN'T GET A VALENTINES CARD TODAY! When the only thing you have to look forward to is Paula Deen and her cooking grease, you kind of get the idea why I'm wound up tighter that Paul McCartney at a Prosthetics convention. Any who, Vidja geamz!!
Not much I can say that hasn't been regurgitated 1000 times by Kotaku so here's a slimmed version:
Notch offers to fund Psychonauts 2. Like REALLY fund it. People go crazy.
Kotaku does Article on Paula Deen.
Tim Schafer say "TROLOLOL" and asks fans to fund a game that isn't Psychonauts 2. asks for $400,000
24 hours later $1.1 million dollars raised. Time remaining: 32 days.
Kotaku releases 3rd Paula Deen article of the week about how she redefined gaming for us.
Hey people still disappointed at that MMO Star Trek game released a while ago? Good, beacuse you have more disappointment, because another crappy game is on the way. Being made by Digital Extremes and published by Paramount and Namco Bandi. Hegh Daq Hoch [damn] 'oH
"Why Mr.WelshEdderz you hunk of a man", I hear you ask "Didn't we all ready have a LittleBigPlanet Kart Racing game You sexy beast?". No I don't believe we did. "Sure we did it was called Mod Nation..." SHUT YOU'RE WHORE MOUTH DAMNIT...
Blizzard finally decided to stop counting the cash this week when someone... Sorry, when Valve tried to step on their turf. Basically Blizzard don't like the fact that Valve are trying take the term DOTA from them. So yeah, all we can hope for is a Kotick Vs. Newell Weiner wrestling match at the end.
Also, as of when this blog goes up, the Mass Effect 3 demo for 360 and PC is out. No PS3 demo??? Well not until tomorrow because Bioware (LITERALLY) left it to the last minuet to inform us. Bellends.
Well no one entered last week, so I'll do my own...
Yep, I'm in that kind of mood set guys. And here's this weeks caption:
Have a good two weeks my Destructoid chums and see ya next time.
What is up my Nigerian princes and welcome to another brain meltingly bad blog done by yours truly. Another fun fortnight has passed and many pairs of under have been changed. Because, quite frankly, I get shit done. Sexy blog time... INITIATE.
BIG NEWS FOLKS. Bioshock: Infinite is getting a special difficulty. Apparently it will make it so that every choice you make, from weapon upgrades to plasmids, will effect the game itself. Captain obvious ladies and gentleman.
In something that was more inevitable than surprising Resident Evil 6 was announced this past 2 weeks with a trailer to go with it. Showing all bits of juicy details which got the internet ablaze with stupid rumours, like "Will it have a cover based system?", "Who's that guy called Wesker?" and my favourite "Tits?". Also it's coming out 20/10/12.
In some news that will have Jim Sterling sticking that predator toy up his ass a few months longer to get that "Special" feeling, Aliens: Colonial Marines has been push back from spring 2012 to Fall 2012.
Well the Rumour has been in overtime mode the past couple of weeks, with Xbox 720 being at the forefront. With such juicy ones like a 2013 release date (or 2014. or 2015), it will use a AMD's 6670 chip, it will use a system that will kill used games, more kinect focused, possible reveal at E3 2012. Be warned this is most likely all crap.
Insomniac said That they where finished with the Resistance franchise this past week, making PS3 and 360 fanboys pick up arms and ready for WAR! Thinking that Resistance was finished. It isn't, crisis averted.
Last week was an awesome one for the caption, but there can only be one...
Well hello there my dear fellows and welcome to another blog in which I act out my fantasy's with barbed wire, blow torches and Paula Deen's refrigerator. Another eventful fortnight has passed and I have yet to sleep so let us begin.
For those looking for the next manly man's game in which you are a shooty soldier who shots things with guns, bad news I'm afraid. Ghost Recon: Future Soldier has been delayed until may. Originally meant to release in March, but due to Mass Effect 3 was pushed back... Oh come on like there was any other reason.
Well hot shit-a-brick with a puddle stick, those of you unlucky enough to have bought SKYRIM on PS3 (me damn well included) are in with a bit of luck. Bethesda has the 1.4 patch gearing up and ready to go for January and looks to be the one that solves those pesky frame rate issues. Well, a two month wait isn't bad.
Twisted Metal has a release date of February 14. David Jaffe pissed people off because he's David "Fecking" Jaffe.
In something that both confused, delighted and all around mind f**ked the gaming world last week, a new XCOM game was announced. This one (called XCOM Enemy Unknown) is sticking to the original XCOM gameplay formula as an isometric strategy style. So will all the cry babies stop whining about it trying to be Call of Duty now please? Thought not.
Well Dark Souls got mentioned in the same sentence as PC and ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE! Petitions where set up to get the game to PC and YouTubers like Total Biscuit where even giving it go. No word yet on what's happening, but get the tissues at the ready, and lube just in case.
Rumours have been flying about the past few days that THQ had cancelled their entire 2014 game line-up. No reason was given other than Saints Row The Third had sold a shit ton. Althought they came out yesterday and said that this was false due to the fact they have not touched the cocaine fund, so they're good until 2015 at least.
Well that was a long and convoluted blog, Even for me. But before I say sayonara the caption contest, and last weeks winner was...
Knutaf Congrats on that. It made me laugh a good 36 seconds. and this weeks caption is...
Make of it what you will. I call it masturbation material. Have a good two weeks Dtoiders and see you next time.
So heeey... Been a while. 3 weeks? really?! sorry about that but I'm Muslim and had all these backed up holidays and I had to use them. Any who...
Well I picked a hell of a time to disappear with everything that happened. So lets jump straight in and get this monstrosity of a blog started.
Bethesda announced that SKYRIM Has shipped 10 million copies since launch. Not bad for a poor mans WoW. It isn't even online for STD sake. Jokes aside it was the second biggest release of last year. Second only to Dark Souls.
Looks like Square Enix found themselves in a very compromising situation. They left themselves wide open it seems to being penetrated by hackers, it would appear with obvious concerns to users information. Fortunately the offenders left without anything embarrassing being leaked.
Aaa S.T.A.L.K.E.R., the game played when Fallout 3 on very hard was too easy for people. With 3 games and over 4 million units sold, when is the official S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 2 coming out... never? Apparently GSC Game World was being shut with S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 2 going with them it seemed. But the official twitter offered a sign of hope saying an olive branch had come up and perhaps not all was lost. more news is due in January. Cross those pie fingering fingers.
This ones been done to death so I'll give a brief description:
Guy called paul gets asked question about product via email he PR's for. Acts unprofessional.
Gets called out on being dick by customer, proves said person correct in assumption.
Costumer makes clear that Paul is being dick, Paul reverts into online teenage gamer mode. Is not very Effective.
Mike Krahulik of Penny arcade and PAX fame sees e-mails and paul being dick. Paul becomes provoked.
Paul acts out saying he knows the Mayor of Boston and the yellow power ranger. Also has booth at germany (???).
Mike Krahulik says paul not allowed at PAX. Mike uses confusion, IS SUPER EFFECTIVE.
24 HOURS LATER
Paul becomes quickest internet meme in history.
Loses job for behaviour. Holds former company's e-mails hostage.
Hello my dystopian Necrophiliacs and welcome to that time of week where I basically vent my anger and rage at kitties and sickeningly cute pictures of the world. No guess that the VGAs have a part in this weeks blog so feel free to tune out now...
Still here? Then LET'S GET THIS S**T DONE SON!
In a piece of what can only be described as witchcraft Bastion (developed by supergiantgames) was released for Chrome... The web browser. And you thought Skyrim was a technical marvel, you silly sociopaths.
Rumours were abound this past week that Shigeru Miyamoto was retiring, creating a s**t storm of unprecedented natural disasters... like shareholders pooping themselves. Nintendo later made it clear he wasn't retiring and just focusing on "Smaller Projects". Good save Nintendo, good save.
VGAs happened. Guy dressed in Army gear and T-bagged people on stage. felicia day went bobbing for cupcakes. Basically their the MTV awards of gaming.
The new Xbox dashboard update was released this past week and HOLY HELL WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU NETFLIX? To be far they also integrated kinect more and adverts taking up a big part of the dashboard. But don't worry, you still ONLY pay $60 dollars to keep LIVE running.
Well that's pretty much all the stuff I can do without going to jail for. And I also had an Idea (which I TOTALLY didn't rob off Corduroy Turtle I swear), where I'll put a picture up and see who can come up with the best caption. The winner will get internet cookies. Disclaimer: Winner will not in fact get internet cookies
So here's your picture for this week
Happy trails and have a good week my Dtoid chums. See ya next week.
Hello and welcome to this weeks poorly written blog for news from the past 2 weeks. Yes, last week I had a very bad case of the "Kill all the nuns and hide the body's". Or as you call them, Mondays. No worry's, I managed to get the blood out of my hair. Eventually.
Remember a while back when Dead Space 3 was *sort of* announced with a bunch of information as to what it was going to be about. Well turns out a WHOLE load of information has has leaked about the future of the Dead Space, including a First Person Shooter, a flight style game and an "Uncharted" like dead Space. Well f**k a doodle doo, they really want to ruin this francise early don't they.
Sony fanboys nearly went bats**t crazy these past 2 weeks when it was rumoured Fumito Ueda had left Sony. Don't know who he is? THEN GET SOME CULTURE YOU BRAINLESS TWOT. Basically he's the guy making The Last Guardian. Yes the game is still in development. No I don't know how manly children I've sacrificed to keep it alive. Lost count at 23.
Black Friday happened last Thursday and to my surprise not a damn Black pudding or penguin was to be seen in the states. But a woman pepper spraying 20 people so she could get a Xbox 360 was to be seen. Well, sort of.
Oceans parted, statues cried, clouds danced in memories and a bowel movement happened somewhere in the world in memoriam of this event. That's right, the parody twitter account of Peter Molyneux, known as Peter Molydeux was suspended. Thankfully it's back up and continues with it's awesome tweets like "You know in cut scenes when it says "3 months later..."? What if the game ACTUALLY locked your save file for 3 months?"
Something to do with Half Life 3 with a little merit behind it and the Internet exploded. Cows give birth. Occams electric toothbrush said something unhumanly weird but awesome. All these things have happened in the past 2 weeks but the one I'm talking about is Half Life 3 being possibly, emphasis on the *POSSIBLY* announced.
Well thats enough mind f**kery for this blog. Be sure to troll me about Half Life 3 and how messed up in my non-existant brain I am. Also come back in about a week to see my next blog if for some reason you had a giggle out of this.