The Australian Open has started off with a bang: -

1. Lewis Hamilton and Jensen Button took 1st and 2nd place on the grid for the Australian Grand Prix.

2. The surprise of the opener was Romain Grosjean puts his Lotus third ahead of Michael Schumacher’s Mercedes and the Red Bulls of Mark Webber and Sebastian Vettel.

Hamilton's Time: 1m 24.922s, Button's Time: 1m 25.074s, Grosjean's Time: 1m 25.302s





Well that was the good news, the following are some of the bad news that happened during the opening Australian Grand Prix race: -

1. Karthikeyan, Ricciardo and De la Rosa were investigated by the stewards for allegedly hindering Alonso, Schumacher and Kovalainen respectively. Both Karthikeyan and De la Rosa received reprimands, but no further action was taken in the Ricciardo case.

2. Schumacher's Time: 1m 25.336s, Webber’s Time: 1m 25.651s, Vettel’s Time: 1m 25.668s, Mercedes’ Nico Rosberg's Time: 1m 25.686s, Williams Pastor Maldonado's Time: 1m 25.908s (was 8th), Force Indias' Nico Hulkenberg's Time: 1m 26.451s (was 9th). For the full list of F1 drivers, please see my previous blog entry.

3. Disappointly, Daniel Ricciardo who drives for Toro Rosso came 10th but didn't record a time because the team conserved rubber.

4. Fernando Alonso lost his Ferrari in the entry to Turn One, spearing backwards into the gravel. It seemed as if Alonso’s 1m 26.494s might keep him in the top 10, but in the end he was bumped by Hulkenberg and Maldonado.

5. Jean-Eric Vergne got bumped by his own Toro Rosso team mate Ricciardo, his 1m 26.429s leaving him 11th for his Formula One debut ahead of Alonso, then came Sauber’s Kamui Kobayashi on 1m 26.590s, Williams’ Bruno Senna on 1m 26.663s and a very disappointed Paul di Resta on 1m 27.086s for Force India.

6. Ferrari's Felipe Massa was only 16th on 1m 27.497s. It was also a disappointment for Sauber, as gearbox problems kept Sergio Perez from running. He qualified 17th on the grid but, after the team decided to change the box on his C31, he dropped to 22nd.

7. Kimi Raikkonen's return to F1 was marred by a shock elimination - he got caught out on the hard tyres as the rest of the field switched to softs and could only muster 1m 27.758s after a major wobble.

8. On a good note Charles Pic's first F1 qualifying session ended with an impressive 1m 31.670s.

F1 RULE CHANGES:-
1. The 2012 Formula One season sees the introduction of a four-hour limit for races, following last year's rain-delayed marathon in Canada. Charlie Whiting, the FIA's race director, explained the decision, telling the sport's official website: "Should four hours elapse during a future race, drivers will receive a signal telling them they have one more lap before the checkered flag."

2. Teams can no longer use engine exhaust to produce large amounts of downforce -- a practice which has been prevalent for the last two years in the form of blown diffusers. Now exhaust pipes must exit in a defined area at the back of the car, not run along its underbelly.

3. Many of this year's cars feature a dramatic steeped-nose design. Whiting said this is to make sure the height of the nose was lower than the sides of the cockpit, therefore reducing the risk to the driver in the event of a collision.

4. In previous seasons, cars had to pass crash tests in order to compete in races. Now, cars must pass the FIA's 18 mandatory tests before the official preseason test events. "It is indefensible to have drivers testing cars in the winter that haven't met the safety standards we demand for a race," said Whiting.

5. Drivers have been told not to drive off the race track without good reason. "We've seen drivers taking shortcuts on in and out laps, either to save time or fuel," explained Whiting.

6. Pit stops are a crucial part of F1, and a race can be won or lost depending on how quickly the crew are able to replace a car's tires. In an attempt to save valuable time, teams have been known to power their wheel guns with compressed helium instead of air. But not anymore. "It saved fractions of a second," Whiting said. "It would have been a very expensive method of gaining no advantage."

7. The gulf in class between some cars means that the leading drivers often lap back-markers during a race. The safety car is deployed if there has been an accident on track or if conditions become dangerous. Drivers are not allowed to overtake each other under such conditions, but in 2012 strugglers will be able to un-lap themselves by going past the safety car and reforming at the back of the field. <-- This rule kind of confuses me.

8. Each driver is allowed 11 sets of tires to use over the course of a race weekend, but they must last through practice, Saturday qualifying and Sunday's race. Previously teams could only use three of their sets during Friday practice, but they will now be able to use as many as they like.

9. Ask any F1 Fan and he or she will tell you that the highlight of any grand prix is seeing drivers attempt daring, fast-paced overtaking maneuvers. But now, when a driver has someone behind them, they are allowed to make only one defensive move to protect their position. This rule is to prevent potentially dangerous blocking strategies.

THE 2012 TEAMS AND FANTASTIC DRIVERS:-
1. RED BULL; Drivers: Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber


2. McLAREN <-- GO ENGLAND!!; Drivers: Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button


3. FERRARI; Drivers: Fernando Alonso and Felipe Massa


4. MERCEDES; Drivers: Michael Schumacher and Nico Rosberg


5. LOTUS; Drivers: Kimi Raikkonen and Romain Grosjean


6. FORCE INDIA; Drivers: Paul di Resta and Nico Hulkenberg


7. SAUBER; Drivers: Kamui Kobayashi and Sergio Perez


8. TORO ROSSO; Drivers: Daniel Ricciardo and Jean-Eric Vergne


9. WILLIAMS; Drivers: Pastor Maldonado and Bruno Senna


10. CATERHAM; Drivers: Heikki Kovalainen and Vitaly Petrov


11. HRT; Drivers: Narain Karthikeyan and Pedro de la Rosa


12. MARUSSIA; Drivers: Timo Glock and Charles Pic


WOW!!...that was a lot of information to get to. I will make another post about the F1 2012 CIRCUITS.. :)

Awesome Destructoid boneeeeeerrrrrrr!!! You have got to listen to this :) Another awesome cover is done by kermit the frog



P.S: Shortest blog post..EVER!!

Having had the pleasure of growing up both in Africa and the UK, I think I have been exposed to quite a number of weird or rather should I say quirky things. And I personally believe that it is because of this, I feel more drawn towards weird and wonderful things than the things people would deem the norm of society.

I hope you guys don't get offended but that is one of the reasons I love Destructoid (well apart from the forums that is). And I am pretty sure it is because of this same quirkiness a lot of Gaming fans are drawn to Destructoid for their Gaming Goodness

My love for all things weird isn't only limited to Destructoid, it extends to a lot of things in my life. Example of things like this are -- my love for indie movies (Google MUBI), finding cultural nuances, my love for both mainstream and non-mainstream music, etc

The kind of non-mainstream music genres I love are chiptunes. I remember watching a video a while ago in which Ashley Davis said that she only listens to chiptunes. Well, even though I love her work, I feel that for one to have a better understanding of life and his or her surroundings, he or she has to open up to a lot of things which make up our Human existence. Maybe I am weird for saying this, but that is what I think. [DON'T KILL ME]

A band (i think they are a band) I find ever so amusing is Die Antwoord. The songs they make are so fucking nuts. They fall under the sub-genre of hip-hop/rap called Jokey Rap -- I think that’s what it's called. But unlike other Artists who I feel are just joking around, I think these guys aren't.

You should watch this song titled Zef Side. Just watch it, the guys just sound as if they are naturally high, all of the fucking time. The full version of the song on which the interview is based on is called Beat Boy. There is a comment in the link for the full version of the song that says They lyrics to this sound as if they were written in a strip club on a heavy dose of LSD. Love it., I couldn't agree any more :) I hope that with this extended interview, you might also like to listen to their music,

Other songs are so weird but in a good way; Enter the Ninja and Evil Boy. Heads up! Evil Boy is about Penises..lol

Well, I am hoping that ....




we will find a way to celebrate Destructoid's beautiful uniqueness :) I am sure many other people have felt the same way. And I think Die Antwoord might be like Borat -- manufactured madness.

Towards the end of 2011, 80% of the mainstream Gaming sites/Blogs/Media were seen showering praises upon a little game known as Skyrim. It was reported that millions of gamers also bought the supposedly awesome game. One guy, Adam Sessler, editor-in-who gives a fuck, kept going on about how the game occupied his whole being. And as usual, everyone at g4tv followed in his footsteps.



I saw this unworthy praise coming from a mile off. But what really surprised me was that there was little or no mention about the significant problem this game had on the PS3. I am sure you all have heard about the lag problems that we ps3 owners have experienced, Bethesda claimed that the 1.4 update would fix the lag -- well, i didn't stick around, I sold the bastard game. I personally see this as a failure, a game that is released should work on all of the platforms that it is supposed to come out for. But the so-called Gaming Journalists like Sessler just pick and choose.

I will give you two examples where games were released and were not working on a particular platform but were regarded, outright as a Failure. These games are -- Rage and Bayonetta. When Rage was released, it was having driver issues on the PC, no website gave it a chance. It was instantly deemed a failure -- even though the PS3 and Xbox 360 versions were working perfectly. I ask you shouldn't this be applied to fucking Skyrim, why should it be different ? Bayonetta, which was released for both the xbox360 and PS3, had a fuck load of problems on the PS3 (I know the PS3 version wasn't developed by Platinum, but that isn't the point). This game, just like Rage, was regarded as a failure by many a gaming journalist, I ask you again, why shouldn't this be applied to Skyrim ?

Skyrim this, Skyrim that, the games' PS3 problems were swept under the rug. When the lag problems came to light, the prick Todd Howard was no way to be found. But, the previous week, the cunt was seen on a host of websites, even having a discussion with Mojang's Notch. The cunt couldn't even be seen to give a simple explanation about why we were having problems but he can talk for 45mins about how awesome his game is. Luckily, people with a lot more credibility than him stepped to the plate to explain. Eurogamer's Digital Foundry and Obsidian's Joshua E. Sawyer seem to have been able to figure out what the problem was -- the PS3s memory management system.

For Lead Designer, Joshua E. Sawyer, to come out and make those points, it shows that Skyrim's engine needs a total overhaul. I am even sure that the update wasn't able to fix the lag -- assuming that the bastards at Bethesda have released it. Why didn't Mr. Todd Howard say anything about this widespread problem ? but he would gladly go on TV and have diarrhea of the mouth. After Skyrim was released we were getting different delightful stories about their development process (even Squidbear got a mention). But after the lag problems came up, nothing, bare Darkness/Silence.

I am just glad that at least both IGN and Gametrailers recognised that because of the lag problems on the PS3, Skyrim wouldn't be getting their GOTY titles. Game of the Year titles/trophies might be meaningless but for other Gaming Websites to give Rimjob this title, totally disrespected every PS3 owner that spent their hard earned money on a game that was fundamentally broken. If this is how I feel about being cheated by Bethesda, I wonder how gamers, who own only PCs, feel when they either don't get a title or get a broken game.

For some odd, I really don't know why, I started thinking, what is the web history like of the total Destructoid editorial staff. (DOES TARA LONG WATCH PORN, IS JONATHAN HOLMES INTO SHEMALES, IS DALE NORTH SECRETLY INTO....FURRIES?..AHHH!)



Just silly little things like that, honestly haven't you thought of it. It would be cool to find out though. Well until then, here is my total web history as of the 8th of January, 2012 (11pm GMT).

SERIOUS BIZNESS

1. bbc.co.uk

2. cnn.com

3. The Guardian

4. The Discovery Channel

5. www.gamesindustry.biz

6. eurogamer.net

7. PSNATION.ORG

8. EU PLAYSTATION BLOG

9. US PLAYSTATION BLOG

And most importantly

10. DESTRUCTOID..YOU AWESOME BASTARDS!!


MORE SERIOUS BIZNESS

1. XNXX - OH!! YEAH

2. XHAMSTER - FREE WEBCAM CHATS FTW!!

3. OMEGLE - CRAZY ASIAN CHICKS FTW!!

4. FSIBLOG - Yep, indians do have make homemade porn

5. Debonairblog - People on here, seriously need to chill.


I know, I know, I have a thing for the exotic ladies. I am really fascinated by exotic ladies, they seem to have an air of mystery and mystique about them -- I have had relationships with two incredibly intelligent asian women and I don't think I will be forgetting it anytime soon.

That is why I love London, there is always something surprising around the corner, you get to meet wonderful people from equally wonderful countries.

I have to confess for FSI and Debonair, you have got to seriously look/dig for any good videos. The reason why I visit these indian websites is because well I have a casual relationship with a british-indian biology student, I was curious to see how South Asia Indians (not native american indians) perceive sex.

So I hope you don't mind me asking but what is your web history like ? Honestly, no judgements here :)