So, thanks to Excremento's recent Top 50 games list, I decided to give my old GBA Lunar Legend cartridge another try. I have actually logged 60+ hours into this game, but never finished it because I would get bored, drop it, and then pick it up again and start a new game. But this time I decided to take the current file and finish the fight. I rushed through the last couple of dungeons, leveled up my team for an hour to finish the half-hour boss fight against Ghaleon (I tend to under-level my team in RPG's, so everything in the end is harder than it should be), and watch the ending cutscenes, where Luna, the game's damsel-in-distress, is rescued by yours truly.

Interesting, I got a hug, but no kiss. Well, maybe it's after the credits. No? Well, maybe I pressed A too early and it skipped to the title screen. I'll watch again. Dammit, still no kiss, just a looping midi with a picture of the Earth! The hell! I just saved the entire universe and prevented this girl from sacrificing herself to give the bad guy ultimate power, and I don't even get a PECK ON THE CHEEK?

Why is this such a common occurence in video games? Am I playing the wrong games? I go through all the dungeons, sit through all the "Your princess is in another castles," all the "You need to collect all the pieces of the Triforce," all the "You need to train two more levels to make this last boss battle even plausible," and all I get is a black screen with a bunch of developer's names. What kind of reward is that?

Listen people, I'm not asking for a porn vid at the end of your game. I'm not so sex-starved that I'd be willing to spend 50 hours killing slime and crawling dungeons just for something to jack off to. But come on, if you spend the whole game rubbing in the fact that hero X and princess Y are a match made in heaven, the perfect couple, MAN they are going to have SOOOOOO many kids when this adventure is done, at least, y'know, make them kiss at the end.

Let's ignore my voyeurism for a moment. This guy, whether it's Link, Mario, or Teenage Destined Anime Hero #46, has busted his ass to save the girl, and to just drop the story once iminent world destruction has passed is just cheap. Every Hollywood movie ever with an inkling of plot involving both a man and a woman in life-threatening situations ends in a kiss. We know full well that DVD's/Blu-ray have the space to store tons of video and beautifully-rendered 3d human figures. Can't you developers find it in your heart (and budget) to at least have a frickin' well-drawn/photographed/rendered SINGLE frame where they lock lips? Criminy.

Also, Excremento, if you're reading this: Does the top screenshot appear in the Playstation Lunar Silver Star Story Complete? Because if it does, I will be so pissed at Ubisoft for this GBA port. And I will also be raiding Ebay.