Actsofgord.com has been around for a while now, but if you have yet to read through the site, I urge you to go there now. It's one of the funniest sites I've been to, and will keep you entertained for hours.

Gord was the shopkeeper of a Video Game store in Canada called "Gamer's Edge". Through this site he chronicles all of the dumbasses and dipshits that he was forced to endure during his time working retail. His stories are collected and organized into books on the site, each containing chapter after chapter of various encounters with the intellectually inept.

Here a few random excerpts from the site:
-------------------------------------------

Mod Chips
"Do you sell mod chips for the PlayStation?"

"The door is to your left. Try not to let it hit you on the way out."

"What?"

"I'm politely saying get the hell out."

"All I'm asking for is a mod chip."

"All you're asking for is to steal games, and you're in a game store. Your mother must be so proud."

"You're an asshole."

"You're a wannabe thief."

"You better watch what you say! Things might happen to you!"

"Why? You have a friend who protects you and makes people be friendly to you?"

"I'm never coming back!"

"If I sold you a mod chip, you would never come back anyway. You won't be missed."

---------------------------------------------

Fear the Gord!

Guy walks in who is about 19.

"Do you give cash for PlayStation games?"

"Yes, but we give less for cash than credit."

"Ok. Well I've got nearly 50 of them" and he sets his sports bag on the counter and opens it. He then begins to unload the games onto the counter.

"Do you have any games that aren't copies of games?"

"You said you paid cash for games!"

"I see. So what you're saying here is you're fucking retarded?"

"How about $5 a game?"

"How about you just get the hell out and stop wasting my time?"

"You said!"

"Let's see… so you expect me to pay more for copied games than what it cost you to make them?"

"It's how I make money."

"Fine… fine. "

<Gord grabs CD's and starts to snap them>

"What are you doing?!??"

"Isn't it obvious?"

Guy starts tossing what games he can back into his bag to save that he can.

"I'm never coming back!"

"Don't forget to tell your mom about me!"

And he left, never to return.

-----------------------------------------------

Damn You and Your Proof!
"What's this about your collection company saying I never returned Resident Evil 2!"

Well, you didn't return Resident Evil 2. Too complicated a concept?

"We returned it the day after we got it right though the return slot on the door!"

Really?

"Yes!"

Who did exactly?

"He did!" (point to friend).

You did?

"Yes."

Care to explain how you did that 2 months ago when that drop slot was only put in on Thursday? Here's the invoice I got a few minutes ago for it. See the date?

<dramatic pause>

"FUCK YOU!" and they storm out.

Note: The reason why they were in was because buddy wasn't able to get a car loan because this appeared on his credit file… And the Gord was satisfied.

-----------------------------------------------------

Anyways, posting these articles has caused me to want to re-read the whole site again. If you have the time, I highly recommend visiting actsofgord.com. I promise you will not be disappointed.