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About
Wow, I have a twitter now. Hmmm, would you like to follow me? Here, take this link. If you follow me; I will make all your dreams come true: Twitter

Here's my Tumblr; it's where I write all my miscellaneous stuff: Tumblr

Do you like films? Do you like my writing? If so, then have a look at my movie blog: Flixist

I'm a student. I'm currently working on my second degree. My past jobs were working at a gym and Urban Outfitters. I love to play guitar, read, listen to music, and watch films. I'm funny and enjoy the arts. I sometimes can ramble on about literature and films. I'm born and breed in New York. I'm easy going and I love fashion. My favorite system is the DS. I constantly shop at Urban Outfitters and Topshop. I really don't know what else to say. Oh yeah, I'm a cool guy!

Movies:
I Stand Alone, Magnolia, There Will Be Blood, Fight Club, Antichrist, Enter The Void, Dogtooth

Music:
Bob Dylan, The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Lhasa De Sela, MC5, Neil Young, Velvet Underground, Radiohead, Manu Chao, The Smiths, Nine Inch Nails

Books:
The Trial, Notes From Underground, Paris Spleen, Crime And Punishment, Junky, Hunger, Nausea, The Stranger

Games:
Super Mario Bros., Lost in Shadow, Braid

Favorite Articles I've written:

Demon's Souls: An Allegory for Life

Fuite

Diary of a Breton: Journey to Solitude

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Explain Yourself!

Venus, Put on some Fur and let's Talk

Front Page Articles

The Emasculation of a Father

A Small Thank You

I started a blog at this very site to let some of my feelings out. In some way Destructoid was therapy for me. I write about everything from my mother, past relationships, financial situations, friends, hipsters, school, etc. This is done not for sympathy, but as a way to expresses myself. My financial situation is a mess and I have no idea how Iím going to make a living, but writing and reading some of the response from great users have bought a wealth of positiveness to my life; It really doesnít have to be anything big, but a simple comment of appreciation is enough to fill my heart with joy. Itís strange writing this, but joining this community has been the best thing I've ever done, well, second best thing; getting laid is pretty cool. What Iím trying to say here is thank you. Thank you for this awesome community. Thank you for reading. Thank you for commenting. Thank you for being awesome.

A big thanks goes to falsenipple for the header!

Venus In Furs - Don't know what it is? Well, my freind, click on the link and listen to the song.

The Velvet Underground - Venus In Furs (Original)

DeVotchKa - Venus In Furs (Cover)

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VenusInFurs
11:47 PM on 10.12.2011

I was 16-years-old at the time. It was about 11 PM. Both my parents were working and didnít come home until midnight. My older brother was out attending a party, and I had the place all to myself. I made myself some microwave pizza, watched some TV, played video games, and took a quick shower before I went to bed. I lived in a small apartment complex in Queens, New York. There are two windows in my room. In one of the windows I can clearly see the street outside the building without the obstruction of any trees, an advantage my mother used to see where my brother would go anytime he left the building.

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That night while sleeping I was awaken by a scream. It was coming from outside. My windows were shut, but I could clearly hear the screams of a woman. I didnít move, but my eyes were wide open. For a moment, it seemed like I was frozen in time. I just stayed in my bed, eyes opened, and carefully listening to the cries of a helpless woman. Eventually I got up and went to the window. I saw a man pulling the hair of a woman; she was on the ground crying her heart out for help. The streets were empty. I opened the window to get a clearer sound of what she was saying. ďStop hitting me,Ē she screamed at the man I presumed was her boyfriend. The next few minutes I witness the man slap, kick and yell at her - and yet, no one came for help. As I was witnessing this, my heart was pounding. I wanted to go down there and stab the guy in the eye. But I didnít. I did nothing but stand still and witness the violence that was being displayed. At one point the man dragged the woman from one side of the building to another. I followed them by going to the living room, but my view was covered by some trees. I couldnít see anything but her screams were as clear as a sunny afternoon. I could hear my neighbor calling the police and was relieved I didnít have to be the one to do it. Eventually she got up and they left. The police arrived three minutes later, but the couple was long gone.

This event has stayed with me ever since. The image and sound of a woman being hit will never leave my mind and I still get this strange feeling every time I think about it. At times I wish I wasnít so small and skinny. I wish I went down there and saved her. When I saw her getting hit, I seriously thought of going to the kitchen and getting the sharpest knife I could find, go down there and stab the guy repeatedly in the face. Unfortunately the facts differ from my fantasy of revenge. I did nothing. My apartment was simply good seats for the concert.



Silent Hill 4: The Room scared me, not because of its story (which is good) or gameplay (which is bad and boring), but with its concept. The game starts with your character getting up from bed. Quickly you start to notice that the apartment is covered in dust, itís as if no one has lived there in years. As you explore the apartment, you noticed the door is locked from the inside by chains, and the windows are sealed shut. Eventually you'll find a hole in the bathroom, having no choice, you enter the hole. This hole acts like a portal; it takes you to different worlds. Once you beat a world or find a certain item, the apartment subtly changes. The apartment is your safe haven only for a few hours; slowly it starts to come alive and becomes as dangerous to be in as the worlds you explore.



I have a very mix reaction towards this game. I found the story to be fascinating; however, the gameplay left a lot to be desired. In the end of the day, the concept of being trapped in an apartment is what I find to be most captivating and disturbing. For instance, very early on the game you meet a woman badly beaten up, you finish the level, and suddenly the apartment opens itself up to you Ė you turn the radio on and hear the report of a missing women. You look outside the window and see the ambulance carrying out a dead body from the subway entrance Ė the apartment is your seat for the show. Youíre an observer, not a participant. You can look through the peephole on the door, look outside windows, look into your neighborís room by a small hole, etc. The essence of a safe haven slowly decaying as you progress got to me, and the reminder of my own helplessness was constant in the game. Chaos as an observer is what I find more disturbing than anything else. Witnessing something you really shouldnít see. Wanting to help, but canít. These are the situations that disturbed and unsettled me, not only in the game, but in real life.
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Two years ago I decided to read 120 Days of Sodom by Marquis De Sade. I only made it halfway through the book before I decided not to finish it - the book was simply too disturbing to read. I thought I can handle the dark tale of four French libertines kidnapping a set of underage boys and girls. But to my surprise, I couldn't. You see, I have an ego; an ego of being undisturbed by anything. I would like to think my generation is the reason for this, and not because Iím insane. The film adaptation of 120 Days of Sodom by Italian filmmaker Pier Paolo Pasolini had absolutely no effect on me. This supposedly ďcontroversialĒ and ďdisturbingĒ film simply hasnít aged well, not because itís bad, but because its shock value has been conquered by other films over the years. For instance, A Clockwork Orange was set to shock you, but now, itís simply an average film with average violence Ė the violence doesnít have the same effect and in return the film suffers greatly for it.

Video games, like literature, seem to be the only shining hope of true violence and genuine scares, but as the years go by, Iím noticing games are following the same path as films - the desensitization of gamers is what I worry about. Itís something we should try to keep intact before itís ultimately gone.



In Dark Souls thereís an elevator that takes you down to an underground cavern (you can reach this area at the start of the game). This cavern is dark and filled with enemies not interested in attacking you. Instead, the enemies are scattered around crying, pacing back and forth, or sitting with their head down. Thereís barely any light and the only sound you hear is of heavy breathing. I spent about five minutes there until I decided to leave. This level had an eerie feeling of hopelessness and itís the main reason why I love the game. But Iím scared that soon enough this will be absent, only replace wholesale by staleness and the absurd religious inhabitants of typical cliches that currently infest films.

I would like to point out three games that rival this typicalness of violence and horror: Condemned 2, Amnesia, and Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth.



At the start of Condemned 2, the player controls a drunk officer in an alleyway. Heís unarmed and completely confused as to what is happening around him Ė only seeing bizarre images on broken TVís and fighting off black liquid monsters. This level, which is essentially a prologue, is brief, slow; dark to the point you think youíre going blind and effective in its violence and scares. Like Dark Souls, Condemned 2 brings in the violence and scares slowly, it builds it up, sets an atmosphere, and indulge itself in romantics before the main event. Unfortunately, the rest of the game fails to live up to its prologue.

Games, like films, love to show extreme violence. I have no problem with this, but I do have a problem when itís desensitizing its audience Ė it kills the immersion and ultimate goal of the game. Dark Souls has a way of scaring you not only with its levels, but with its controls. Like Amnesia, Dark Souls has limited gameplay options. For me, this adds to the horror. Iíve been desensitize to violence and horror, but the possibility of death still gets to me Ė itís the reason why I left the underground cavern in the first place. The atmosphere was amazing, but it was the thought of losing all my souls, equipment, experience points, etc that truly ended up disturbing me.

Horror by gameplay is what I preach and itís used perfectly in Dark Souls, Amnesia, and Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. Limiting the gamer is the next best thing in horror: take the gun away and replace it with a flashlight, have your currency be used in the same vain as your experience points, let there be limited check points, have every decision you make be the final one because the game saves itself every five seconds. And also, let the game be hard.

Amnesia has you starting and ending the game with nothing Ė you have no weapons. When an enemy arrives, your goal is to hide until they have left. This, while boring on paper, is simply a delight to experience. Games have gone so far with its gore that Iím no longer scared or shocked by it. I give a bad look to games that apply blood and gore as a way to unsettle you (Iím looking at you, Dead Space 2). I champion the bizarre, not because itís different, but because itís effective (well, when it is effective), and so should you.



The first two hours of Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth has you going around a town questioning people about a murder. This all builds up to the actual ďgameplayĒ of the game: RunningÖ yes, all you do is run. Let me explain, after the two hours of investigating, you go back to your hotel room only to be awaken by the sound of someone trying to get into you room. Every room is connected by doors and your goal is to escape. Youíre chased by two sharply dressed gentlemen; one with an axe, another with shotgun. You run to the door, turn around, lock it, or move a book shelf to cover the door Ė you only have a few seconds to do this or they will break the door down and you will die. This goes on for about 20 minutes until you escape. Like Dark Souls many gamers have never gotten past the first 3 hours and some even fail to see the fun in it. But for the few that do see the fun; they get a special sense of fright, scare, and blood pumping action!



This all goes to my point of gameplay replacing visuals in horror. Because gore has been used so many times, developers must find a different way of scaring you. In a way, I thank games like Dead Space and Gears of War, not because I enjoyed them, but because they encouraged developers to find a more creative way to scare the shit out of you.
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VenusInFurs
10:37 PM on 09.15.2011

Reviewing the reviewer and reviewing the score is a rather controversial topic. People seem to never be satisfied with a score a game they admire received; itís either too high or too low. The comments posted on any review from any site invariably seem to be infested with an abundance of insults and misunderstandings. Complaints about the words or numbers are commonplace, but are they justified? Do any of the critics criticizing the critics have a point? Do any of these points deserve to be explored?



A popular comment I read posted on reviews is the ďnon-subjectiveĒ comment. Certain individuals hold the belief that a reviewer should never place his or her opinions on a review. In other words, a review should only be done from a technical stand point: gameplay, music, graphics, etc. Any comparison to any other games is immediately shut down as trying to live up to certain expectations; a game should be reviewed as it stands: a single entity. I completely disagree with this thought process and find it hard to believe that some individuals actually mean it. T.S Elliot wrote: ďNo poet, no artist of any art, has his complete meaning alone. His significance, his appreciation is the appreciation of his relation to the dead poets and artist. You cannot value him alone; you must set him, for contrast and comparison, among the dead. Poetry should never be judge as is.Ē A review should always have comparisons ďto the deadĒ (past games) of whichever genre it occupies. It is impossible, and wrong, to not compare games to each other. This is how the medium will grow, not by limiting our review process, but by looking at past games (in its genre) for inspiration and improvements.

Another common critique is the number system. A scale from 1-10 is commonly used in many game sites, but is it fair? Does it have any place in a review? The answer is yes and no. Yes, because the number gives the reader a quick and unambiguous answer as to the quality of the game and, no, because a review should stand on its own -- the words in a review should be enough; it doesnít need to hide behind a number. People seem to take the number scale literally. For instance, if a game is scored a 10, then it gives the impression that itís perfect, but we all know no game is perfect. The number scale is pretty simple to understand; a 10 doesnít mean a game is perfect, but that the reviewer highly recommends the game. In a perfect world, everyone would look at the number and read the review, but unfortunately we donít live in a perfect world and many people only look to the number. This begs the question: Should the number scale be abolished? Should such a accommodation be done for the handicap? This is something thatís been debated for awhile, but it seems that the complaints are from overzealous fans. This brings me to another point I want to make: Genre.



Another typical comment used is the ďhow can you give game X the same score as game YĒ comment. Genre should always be considered when a reader is reading a review. If game X is a shooter and game Y is an RPG and game X is scored slightly higher than game Y, itís not because the game is better, but because itís better in its particular genre. Comparing apples and oranges will get you nowhere. This absurd sensitivity has been widespread because of the internet. This quick reaction to games the consumer has yet experience is demented and show nothing but loyalty to the absurd. But it is useful to examine this absurd behavior that always lies in the realm of pretentiousness, which takes me to my next point: Preference.

Reviews always have the opinion of its writer, but what if the reviewer reviews a game in a genre he or she knows nothing about or even hates. Letís take Catherine, for example. Jim Sterling stated many times that the game is not for him and if he was reviewing it, it would have gotten a low score. I tend to agree with comments that say, ďWhy did you review this game if you hate the genre?Ē But thereís always a little voice in my head who thinks itís positive to have a fresh voice to speak about a game -- A different t perspective might highlight some blemishes a reviewer comfortable in the genre would overlook. This question is more complicated than the others and I have no solid answer, but I do have a suggestion: a mini review. Let me explain, you have the main review and also have a mini (a small paragraph) review of someone not accustom to the genre giving his or her thoughts. Comparisons between two different gamers are always welcome and can help the way we look at games.



Reviews are always criticized for its content and suppose ďbias,Ē but we must all take a step back, take a deep breath, and think before we judge. There are always some legitimate complaints. Take a look at any controversial review and tell me the comments arenít always out of line. Is there a perfect way to review a game? I really donít know, but I think the first step is respecting each other in the comments and being accepted of others opinions, and take what they say seriously. They may have a point.
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Everyone loves a familiar face, no? Someone you can relate and know inside and out. Most people have fear of the new and undiscovered, but always champion familiarity. As a literary major, my classes demand me to read and analyze several books my virgin eyes have not seen. The Waste Land and Ulysses are some of the works I have to read this semester. I have read most of the books in my collection more than once. Iím sure this is normal -- wanting to experience a great story you just read for a second or third time. Everyone does this, but why am I having difficult time doing this with video games? Not only that, but why donít I have any games to replay?



I have a confession, I bought Demonís Souls three times. Yes, I bought the game and sold it three different times. I first got the game for $40 used and only made it to the second world. I played the first world for about 4 hours and had the entire level memorized, but the game ended up pissing me off, so I sold it. A month later, I bought the game again to finish what I started. This time I made it to the third world and had a pretty powerful character. The game ended up pissing me off again, so I sold it. For the third and final time, I bought the game and actually beat it. The moment I started the game, this feeling of familiarity came over me. I went into the game knowing what to do and how to do it. Demonís Soulís is one of the very few game Iíve spent over 30 hours playing. I never did this with a game before, most of the time if I sell a game; itís gone forever. This explains the lack of any game collection -- I simply donít find replaying games I beat enjoyable. Iím not a multiplayer type of guy, so thatís out of the question. Unlike my favorite books or films, replaying games seem to be a struggle. Itís an interesting dilemma. You would think if you can re-read your favorite books to be experienced again or re-watch your favorite films, that video games would natural fit into the mold. But I think I may have found part of the problem: Gamestop.



Growing up I didnít have many games to play. I would replay the same games over and over again; even games I knew were bad were always on constant play on my console. The moment I turn 18 was when I finally had the ability to go into a Gamestop and trade in games. This was also the moment my collection dwindled into nothingness. I must stress that the problem really wasnít with Gamestop, but with me -- I couldnít control myself. I would sell a bunch of games for store credit. I used this store credit for getting new games, but most of the games I had I've never beaten -- they were all incomplete. I would buy a new game, play it for 4 hours, or sometimes only an hour, and sell them back the following week. This resulted in me buying some games multiple times. For instance, I bought Oblivion and Fallout 3 four different times. I enjoyed the games a great deal, but I wanted a new experience so I ended up selling it. A couple of weeks would pass, and I would buy the games again. At times I would struggle to get to where I left off because I didnít have the save file anymore, and replaying it was a chore, even if I didnít touch the game for a couple of weeks or months. I did like these games, but the whole trading games for new ones was too good of a deal to pass up. Games I knew were good, and wanted to finish were never finished because new and interesting games would always come out and I would sell my games to get enough store credit to buy the new games. I would always end up missing the games I sold, hence why I bought them again. This also explains my love for short games. Take Alan Wake, for example. It was short, straight to the point, didnít bother with any romantics, and I beat the game in a few short days. I enjoyed every second of Alan Wake, but replaying it was something I couldnít do. I wanted to play the game and experience it again, but video games demand so much time and effort that I rather not go through it again, no matter how fun the gameplay is. This is where the problem lies and what Iím trying to fix.



For the last 6 months, Iíve tried to keep my games and made a promise to myself to beat them. Dark Souls, Ico/SotC, and Skyrim are the only games I will buy and play for the time being. I also made a promise to never step inside a Gamestop. I know this sounds pretty silly, but seeing how many hours Iíve spent with Demonís Souls and the satisfaction it bought me, I want to experience these games in full, but to do this I must stop going to Gamestop. I really donít think I can control myself and not sell my games. At the moment I have a PS3 and no games. Yes, no games! Itís been like this for the past 2 months. Well, I did get Little Big Planet 2 and only played it for a day before getting rid of it. I think narrowing down the games I play will help me enjoy them more. I sure as hell donít want to experience Dark Souls FOUR different times before I beat it!
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VenusInFurs
12:36 AM on 09.04.2011

Spoilers for Ico, Shadow of the Colossus, and Castle in the Mist.

Their cries would not reach that ancient castle perched upon the cliff at the end of the world, far to the west where the sun sank after its daily journey. The only thing that could lessen the rage of the master in the castle, that could strave off the castleís curse for even a short time, was the chosen Sacrifice.



Ico begins with a boy with horns being carried to a castle and shut forever in concealment. We know nothing as to why this is being done to the boy, but itís safe to assume that the isolation the boy is sent to is a direct cause of him being born with horns. Castle in the Mist by Miyuki Miyabe tries to answer these questions in her novel. The game, unlike the novel, is more of an experience and less of an actual story. In contrast, Miyabe novelization of Ico is less of a retold of events in the game, and more of a glorified fan-fiction. In the preface she writes, If you picked up this book hoping for a walkthrough of the game, look elsewhere. The order of events, solutions to puzzles and even the layout of the castle have changed. While it is certainly not ďspoiler-free,Ē someone who reads this books and goes on to play the game will find much there that is not here. I find it interesting comparing the book and game; two total different mediums that assist each other. The developers of the game had no say in the book, but they did give Miyabe permission to write her own version of the story. For me, first playing the game and then following it up with the novel helped bring the world of Ico, and some cases Shadow of the Colossus , more alive. The games were no longer minimalistic and ďambiguousĒ with its message and story -- the book bought life to an otherwise lifeless (story wise) game.

Miyabe created a detailed account of Icoís horns and the reasons why he is cast forever in isolation in the Castle in the Mist. Ever since the boy was born, Ico knew he would be cast out. The boyís soul resides in the castle. In a way, Ico being cast out is good because he can now reclaim it and finally be whole. He was raised as a normal child until the age of thirteen. The elder of the village took Ico to the ďForbidden Mountain.Ē He brought Ico there to show him the horrors the Castle in the Mist brings when itís angry. They had ridden on horseback for three days north, going where not even the hunters dared tread. They saw no one on the road, no birds flying overhead, no rabbits in the underbrush, no tracks of foxes in the soft mud left by the rains the day before. Why were the mountains forbidden? Why did no one come this way? Why were there no birds or animals to be seen? This location reminds me a lot of the isolated world of Shadow of the Colossus. In the end of that game, our hero is born again as a child with horns in a world with no life.



The book brings what I like in a story: details. Iím all for ambiguity, but it seems that if any criticism is put forth to games like Ico, Shadow of the Colossus, Limbo, The Path, Journey, etc then youíre considered a philistine because you donít ďget itĒ or canít use your imagination to fill in the blanks. In my opinion filling in the blanks only works when enough information is given. Think of it as a puzzle piece. You have a puzzle that creates a picture of Mario (you are not aware what the picture is about), but are only given 2 pieces; those 2 pieces are not enough to interpret what the picture is about, you need more, not all, but enough to be open to interpretation. Having only 2 pieces of a puzzle just comes to show you how the creator didnít know what he/she was doing and decided to be ďambiguousĒ to hide the fact that he/she was clueless about the story. I find this to be a common thread in most artsy games. The scenery is always beautiful and awe inspiring; sometimes you stop just to absorb the beauty like a good painting; however, unlike a painting, most of the beautiful imagery means nothing (there are some exceptions). It works as a short mini game, but the gamer starts to notice the blemishes and the magic, for me, seems to always disappear. Itís the reason why I take so long to finish games. Atmosphere is good and can take a game to new heights, Demonís Souls is perfect example, but sometimes I want more. Sometimes I want a good story told to me. Many of these artsy games have great ideas (theyíre the most original in all of video games), but do nothing with it. Anyway, Iím glad Castle in the Mist was written because I now see these games in a new light. For me, the games are now more than just pretty colors. Theyíre games with characters and events I truly care about.



The book spends a good 60 pages before Ico is sent to the castle; during those 60 pages we are introduced to Icoís friend, Toto. Before Ico is taken to the castle he is put into a cave (a sort prison). Toto visits Ico there and tries to convince him to run away with him. Ico refuses and warns Toto to not do anything stupid. The next day Toto runs away from home with a horse. Toto runs to the castle so he can meet up with Ico when he is brought there, but before he can make it there, he must pass through the Forbidden Mountain and there Toto sees the horror the castle brings. The world around him was petrified and gray. The people in the streets around him had been frozen in time. Some pointed towards the sky, others ran, holding their heads in their hands, while still others held their mouths open in soundless screams. Toto wondered how many years they had stood there like this. When he reached out hesitantly to touch one, it crumbled into dust beneath his fingertips.

The first 60 pages are like a prologue to the game, and I made an effort to not talk about anything more than that in fear of spoiling more than I wanted, but if you have played Ico, I highly encourage you to pick up this book. I promise it will make for a better experience. Your outlook on the game will greatly change.
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My school isnít bad. Nor is it great. It fits right in the middle of mediocrity. The school isnít a prime example of excellence or a defective environment of undesirables. Itís just there. Itís not ugly or pretty. Itís not clean or dirty. The school simply exists. In many ways the school is exactly like me. You see, I wasnít a bad student, but a boring one. I had a few acquaintances in school. I care about my appearance enough to make an effort to look presentable, but did nothing with it. I go to class, sit in the back and space out. I cut class constantly and arrived late for almost every class I had. I really didnít have any excuse for this. I just walked slow and spend too much time in the bathroom. I got along with most of my teachers. The teachers, like the school, are a mix bag of everything. I had teachers who absolutely love their jobs and others who took the job simply because some of them are a bunch of failed artists hungry for a paycheck.

I sat in class and did nothing. I would stare at the peeling dirty white walls and space out Ė this is my typical routine in most of my classes. I didnít spend much time thinking about my future. I know I should have done my work, go to class early, listen, and participate, but I didnít. I wish I had a better reason, but none exist. This, without question, was my existence; however, this existence all changed my senior year.



I never really met anyone who shared the same interests as me until my last year in high school. Surprisingly it was video game music that brought a couple of gamers together. I had an endless amount of mix CDs of recorded game music. You see, I didnít have any money to buy a soundtrack or import the ones that I wanted, so what I did was record the game music from the television. I made CDs of Metal Gear Solid 2, Final Fantasy X, and countless others. Besides Radiohead, video game music was my high school soundtrack.

I met my friend Jonny in history class. He was a short chubby white kid with a heavy Brooklyn accent. My bag was open on top of my desk with two Radiohead albums clearly visible. The iPod recently came out, and I didnít have any money to buy one, so it wasnít uncommon to still carry CDs with you. Jonny whispered asking me what my favorite Radiohead song was. I said it was The National Anthem and his eyes grew bright with excitement. Suddenly our teacher told us to shut up and we didnít talk until class was over.

After class, we both walked to the cafeteria talking about Radiohead until he asked if I listen to any video game music. I told him I did and showed him the CD I made of Metal Gear Solid 2. I told him I recorded all the songs off my television and he laughed knowing what I did was ridiculous. He said he had the actual soundtrack and his brother knew a way of ripping game music from the disc. He said he would make me a copy and a mix tape of other game music the next day. That afternoon in the cafeteria was the first time I had a deep conversation about video games. The cafeteria was small and dim; it was overcrowded with students, but we somehow found a little spot to talk. We talked about the music, gameplay, and story of all our favorite games until class started. I was stunned and impressed by his knowledge. A challenge I thought, someone who can rival my useless video game trivia. Jonny also introduced me to the world of anime and would later lend me Akira on DVD.



It was dark and raining that night. I sat on the chair in the middle of my room trying to pop a pimple on my forehead. I lived in a small, damp apartment complex in New York. The walls of my room are dirty white and most of the paint was peeling off. I saw my bag in the corner of the door and remembered Jonny burned me a CD of videogame music. I sat on my bed and played the first track. I recognized the tune from Final Fantasy X. I quickly went to the next track and was greeted with a loud bang. I closed my eyes and imagined a hero in some distant land fighting off monsters. Jonny has kindly written down each songs name and from what game theyíre from. Shadow of the Colossus I read.

The song is titled Monstrous People and I fell in love. It was epic. It was amazing. It got my heart pumping. I would turn the volume of my CD player as loud as I can and imagine some great fantasy fight between some unknown soldier and a demonic beast. I reached for the CD case to see if any more music from the game was present. Only 3 of the 17 songs are from Shadow of the Colossus. He also included songs from Ico and other music from games I never heard of. He did include some J-POP which I didnít care for, but I did love the rest.

The next day I greeted him with a big smile and started to talk about all the good music he burned for me. Jonny and I were best friends that year. We spent most days together talking about whatever interested us. Unfortunately I havenít seen Jonny since high school, I donít know why. We just drifted apart; its funny how things always end up, but what can you do. I lost all contact with him, but the memories are enough to keep me satisfied. Itís important to oneís self when you can talk to someone who understands you and share the same interests. You donít feel alone or weird. Being able to express yourself without embarrassment or ridicule is an amazing feeling and one that I cherish with my friends. The internet has made it easier in finding like minded individuals. Most, if not all, my friends donít really share my interest in video game and thatís fine. I have my Dtoid friends to talk to about that. Keeping and maintaining a healthy friendship is essential to a happy life and I think Iím doing pretty well.



Iíve only been an active member for about 5 or 6 months, but itís good to be part of a community who understands you. I never knew something like this can actually happen. I used to look down at people, who had internet friends or met people through the internet, but we live in different times now and this is becoming the norm. By reading blogs I get to not only know your likes and dislikes, but know you as a person. Dtoid has allowed me to make more friends than I could have ever imagined. We have fan fiction about our community members, and even music for each one, too! I donít know of any other website that does this, but this is pretty fuckiní awesome.

To the many people I PM and Tweet to; you guys are my friends. To anyone who reads and comments on my blogs, thank you! I may have never met you in person, but knowing you from your writing is enough to generate an opinion. I feel like I'm rambling here, so I'll just leave and give a THANK YOU to everyone.
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