LucasArts claims DS carts can't hold classic adventure games

". . . Fracture assistant producer Jeff Gullett also commented during the interview, and he tried to explain why no adventure games would be appearing on a DS cartridge in the future: "The cart size of the DS makes it impossible to put out ports of any of our old graphic adventures... there's literally not enough room on those carts to put the games out." Gullett's remark, although it sounds informed, is actually very wrong."

LucasArts is obviously run by cretinous ingrates who don't know their arse from their elbow, and this is why adventure game fans gets no love. How could doing this be anything less than printing money? You'd think prospect of raking it in would be motivating enough, even if honouring the still-acute nostalgia/love of countless gamers isn't. Fuckwits, the lot of them.

There's almost too much going on. With a see-sawing episodic rhythm that visits some starkly different locations and play styles, a wealth of incidental and hidden detail, more gameplay mechanics than you can fully explore in a single playthrough - and above all, an epic, elegiac, arcane storyline that seeks to tie up every last loose thread and honour the passing of a classic videogame hero - Metal Gear Solid 4 is, in most senses, the biggest Metal Gear yet. But the best? Maybe not. If the super-slick thriller of the first Metal Gear Solid remains Kojima's masterpiece, then this operatic monster is his magnum opus.

If I were ever to become a games journalist, this is how I'd like to write. Damn.

Okay, after thirty or so hours I've had enough of GTA IV's infuriating design flaws. Everyone convinced me that this instalment saw the end of the shoddy mission design of yore and it's obvious now they were drunk on hype and couldn't resist spewing the same old hyperbole. The cover system is awful, the missions are too easily hindered by the inherent anarchy of the open world and the three-star+ police pursuits need to die in a goddamn fire. Especially during missions when there seems to be twice as many police cars on the road. The fact that failing any given mission at least one or two times is standard practice can't be considered good game design - and usually for the stupidest, most asinine of reasons.

My brief love affair with this shit is over. I love so much about it - the immersion, the satire, the music, but a doting wife can only take so many smacks to the face before she realises that the plush house and expensive car aren't worth the abuse. Consider my toys officially thrown out the pram.