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The Problem with Darksiders - Destructoid

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I have a confession...I never actually finished Darksiders. I got to the part with the "portals" and the angel telling me to do something with "beams" repeatedly (the beams, the beams, the beams, the beams, the beams, the beams SHUT UP!) but perhaps I just couldn't work out what I was meant to be doing or I got distracted by something else , but at some point I removed it from my steam list and havenít looked back.

but the thing is I actually liked Darksiders, I think it was an absolutely gorgeous game in terms of visuals, and lots "hackey-slashey" fun to be had, who cares if it was a GOW clone that "borrowed" from alot of games.... not me!

so whatís the problem exactly? is it the story?...well that might be part of it but I'm not entirly sure..from the get go I really had no clue what was going on or why I was doing anything...but from what I can remember basiclaly the apocolypse happens and war jumps in but he made a faux pas because apparently it wasn't supposed to happen and the angels are being dubious and wars in huge trouble with the boss or something so he has to wear this embarrassingly oversized gauntlet and get followed around by Mark Hamil doing his Joker voice and he runs around talks to some other godly beings an breaks shit up and kills stuff and um...yeah

I think that didn't help the main problem

our "hero"



aside from his adorable little pigtails hanging out of his hood its clear the impression wer'e supposed to get here is of the "brooding badass" variety....as far as character design....well I'll give them points for the fact he isn't a Nathan Drake

but its his personality that counts!....

if he had one

all he ever seems to do his trudge about being all scowly...like a teeger who's mum took his xbox away. again the question of "why" is always there....why is war such a miserable bastard? is it because he got into trouble? .I mean christ...the guy is WAR why isn't he a little more enthusiastic about the fact he is a god like being with the ability to fight like a boss?

actually mabye thats part of the problem...the Idea is to be powerful....but by virtue of him being WAR THE HORASEMAN OF THE APOCOLYPSE he's already overpowered...even when he was "de-powered" he was over powered..to he point of me not caring

see the thing is its kind of hard to really get behind the hijinx of other worldly god-like beings....its just kind of beyond me, why should I care? all the humans are already undead




and its just thease assholes left to fight it out "just because".....why do we even need the apocalypse? in Darksiders it certainly didn't seem to have anything to do with us Meat-bags as in "judgment" and then when I think about it "souls" are currency for new weapons and powerups...so does that mean the 2500 souls I used to buy something used to be 2500 people? 2500 individuals screaming out in dispiar?....I just gave those souls to a deamon!..what the fuck is a daemon going to do with those souls! my god! WAR is an asshole!

and we were doing fine with our Iphones and computers and Xbox's untill a bunch of angels and daemons showed up to wreck our shit and revert everything to the middle aegis ..Canít they find another planet to play war games on?

much like the whole "heaven vs hell apocalypse" story....I just don't get it, perhaps because its overall scope is just too "big" for me to get

and what exactly do super -god-like beings do? the apocalypse happens once...do they fight wars? negotiate politics? do the horsemen of the apocalypse have any hobbies or interests in the meantime? can such beings mate and have children?

ok, perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself here...there seems to be some kind of "other realm" thing at play so obviously they have their own little world

but as I was saying, maybe I'm supposed to care when war gets "depowered" and gets in trouble with the boss and all the stuff but its hard when I honestly don't care....and maybe if he could emote beyond scowling it would be easier but sadly no

even if I were to compare him to his (most likley) closest counterpart Kratos from god of war



Kratos is an in-human dick, thereís no denying that. However at least in God Of War 1 this was kind of the Idea, its a Greek tragedy which involves a man losing his humanity. With war its like theyíve made a Kratos but without anything remotely interesting

its not that I need humans in these things to empathize...just a human element. Like Hellboy, he is in no way human, but he was raised by humans, he acts human and when supernatural forces come along and start getting on his case about "destiny" and "destruction" and "the apocalypse" he says "fuck that", snaps his horns off and does what he wants

its just a shame because the world of Darksiders is so gorgeous and fun, yet I have to explore it with WAR, like going to a carnival with some miserable sad-sack who doesn't want to be there and you have to bug to go on the rides with you...

it makes me think...like what if instead of playing WAR you instead play as one of a rag-tag group of survivors who "somehow" went into stasis for the 100 or so years the game skips over..and wake up to find that world they are in makes Mad Max look like a family picnic....somewhat annoyed that the angels/daemons having wrecked shit up you gain powers (do a deal with some deamons..it canít be the hard) and go fighting in an effort to tell both heavan and hell to "get the fuck off our planet" and freeing trapped souls of people ....

ok..mabye I'm thinking too hard...maybe I'm missing the point, and I guess its just supposed to be a big hackey-slashey game thatís not meant to make you think

and hell..I didn't finish it, maybe thereís alot I'm missing here, like maybe the plot had a point and WAR learned the meaning of friendship or got together with Urial the Angel

I'm just thinking if thatís what WAR is like then I can only Imagine what a joy Death is going to be like....



sunshine and rainbows I'm sure...



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