A goodly length in times past, I was born between salt and smoke during a stormy night.
I'm the ham that was promised. The hero of bananas.
Hailing from Mexico, I present myself to thee.
The name's Valdred, and I think I lost my mind after betting it during a poker game with a pizza-eating squirrel.
I lost the game, of course.
23 years have passed since I first appeared in this chaotic world, full of rainbows and corgis. Mine platform of choice is a Xbox 360, and a Pikachu Nintendo 3DS is hidden in my underpants.
Fear me and despair, ye mortals.
It has been a long while since I saw a dinosaur in a videogame.
Many years ago (man, that makes it sound like if I was an old man), when I got a PlayStation for Christmas, the very first game I wanted was The Lost World: Jurassic Park.
Granted, it wasn't a good game, but I have fond memories of it. Controlling a Velociraptor or a freaking T.Rex and nomming everything wasn't something that every game could offer. The same can't be said of the titles of this generation.
Every game can offer you weapons, enemy soldiers and places to hide behind. Or the same "over-the-shoulder" Gears of War-esque model.
But how many games give you the chance to terrorize people as a dinosaur?
I know. There are some indie games here and there, but they're mostly FPS, and not very well rated.
Apart from not being able to control a dinosaur, these fascinating extinct creatures have disappeared from action/survival games as well.
I loved Dino Crisis, and I enjoyed its sequel even more. Dino Crisis 2 is still one of my favorite games ever. Extra Crisis was the most awesome thing ever created, man (and to think it was an unlockable after finishing the game. If Dino Crisis 2 ever gets a remake, I'm sure Extra Crisis will become a DLC).
But the Dino-mania wouldn't last, sadly.
After the horrid Dino Crisis 3, Capcom buried the franchise, for reasons I don't yet understand. All right, it wasn't a best-seller, but it wasn't the fault of the game per se.
People wanted to continue the adventures of Regina, not to change everything for dudes in space fighting alien dinosaurs. The camera didn't help either.
So, after Dino Crisis 3 tanked, they just pretended the franchise never existed and smothered it.
The complete abscense of Regina in recent "Capcom vs. X licence" games makes me think that they really don't care about the character and the franchise anymore. Of course, Mega Man or Onimusha fans could say the same, but I don't want to derail this and turn it into another Capcom hate post.
It's like dinosaurs went extinct a second time. Since Jurassic Park III I don't remember if there has been another big movie with dinosaurs in it (well, there was Peter Jackson's remake of King Kong, but the star was the big gorilla).
And I really wonder why. Some people surely think they're childish. Well, of course children love dinosaurs! They were like real life Pokemon. An endless variety of colors, sizes and shapes. And more are discovered every day!
I'd sure love to battle as the Dracorex hogwartsia, or kicking ass with the Crichtonsaurus. Hell, I'm sure there's a dinosaur out there, named as Miyamoto or Reggie (can you imagine the Reggiesaurus Bodyreadasia?).
So, why developers have stopped to use dinosaurs in their big AAA-Games is something that puzzles me. Hell, I'd play an Assassin's Creed game set in prehistoric times, with Desmond's caveman ancient relative if the game lets me ride a Velociraptor and eat templars Conker's Bad Fur Day style.
I was hoping Jurassic Park IV would re-ignite the fire, but after it was postponed my hopes sank to the bottom of the ocean.