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Mari Monzo's blog
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Mari Monzo avatar 8:25 PM on 02.01.2009  (server time)
8 Things You Didn't Know About VGMari

1) My first ever console was actually an NES. Unfortunately, the one we bought was broken out of the box. Instead of returning it for a new one, my mom asked for her money back and I was consoless. On that day I swore I'd own every console ever made. I started my collection when I got my Sega Genesis with Sonic The Hedgehog years later.

2) From the NES onward, every single new in box console (minus handhelds) I have ever purchased has come with some sort of defect. I don't fucking know why. NES, Genesis, Dreamcast, PS2, Wii... All broken after I bought them. The NES stopped turning on, the Genesis' port to plug in the power cable was broken, so I needed to oddly wrap the cord around my unit in order for it to turn on, my first Dreamcast has always made LOUD ass noises that none of my other Dreamcasts make, my PS2 disc slot was jammed when I got it and the Wii didn't have an update necessary for me to get it working properly-- I got this on launch day.

3) I camped out for the Wii I'm not ashamed to admit it. When the Wii and PS3 launched I worked at Best Buy in the video game department (my forte). Since I was the most knowledgeable person when it came to video games in my entire department, I was told I was needed on launch day for both consoles. PS3 at the time was way too rich for my blood, so I slept that one out. But I was one of the nerds who jizzed their pants for the Wii before that came out. I was like Cartman in that episode of South Park. My boyfriend and I decided we'd camp out since I needed to be at the store at 3:00 AM. Employees weren't allowed to buy any consoles on launch if you were on the clock, but my boyfriend bought it while I was on the job and we enjoyed the shit out of it when I got off work.

4) Back in high school when I was in my fighting game prime, I was challenged at a local arcade. When I was at my local Gameworks at Sunset Place in Miami, Florida, I was playing Soul Calibur on single player. While engrossed in the game, apparently some dude was behind me watching me play, I don't know how long he had been there. Next thing I knew, he had swiped his card with a cocky look on his face and hit the start button. I prayed to all the matter in the universe that I was better than this guy. I mean, when I was a kid-- that was all I did. I would sit in my room and play fighters all day. Kind of like the way there are obsessive WoW players except I played fighters obsessively. Anyway, so we pick our characters and the fight starts. I wipe him out with a perfect the first round and I'm like "WTF is this guy a joke?" but then he said he took it easy on me because I was girl. Well I replied by letting him know that my penis was way larger than his. The fight started and it did get much more difficult, but I managed to beat him by the tiniest bit. He wanted a rematch, but by then I had already seen his style, so I managed to beat him with less difficulty. His boys then came and were all, "Where have you been?" One of them look at the screen and saw that I schooled him and thought he could take me. So alright, fine. We fight, I win again. This guy was way easier, I don't know how he thought he could beat me. The previous dude was more of a challenge. Then the group of boys ALL wanted to play me, so then I proceeded to kick their asses. After they had gotten tired of the massive cock slapping, they left all butthurt.

5) I played The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time obsessively. This game was literally all I thought about for the better part of a year. When I received this game for Christmas, I didn't know what was in store for me. I popped it in and the cut scenes, the story, the game play just blew my mind. I have played the game from beginning to end at least 10 times, I have gone through the final boss battle so many times just for fun I've lost count, I read my strategy guide so much, it fell apart in less than a year. I bought the guide because I wanted to have something OoT related to feed my addiction while I was away from my N64. It was all I read in school during 7th grade even way after I beat the game and collected everything.

6) Because of this Zelda addiction, I managed to turn enemies into friends. When I was in middle school, I was the fat ugly kid with greasy hair, braces and glasses nobody ever wanted to be around. Because of this I was constantly teased by all the boys in the class. One day, one of the boys named Marco noticed I was reading the strategy guide for Ocarina of Time. He asked me if he could see it because he was stuck in the Water Temple. I asked him, "Why should I let you borrow something of mine when all you've done is torment me all year during math class?" He looked upset so I asked "Where are you stuck?" He told me which spot in the Water Temple he was stuck on and I just told him off the top of my head what to do. He was in awe and I let him borrow the strategy guide, anyway. After that day him and his friends stopped making fun of me and became my friends.

7) I hate FPS Sorry, but I do. Not my style of game. The only game of that genre I've ever enjoyed has been Descent for the PC. That's not to say I don't like shooters. I like shooters like RE:4, Gears of War and Time Crisis. But First person? Sorry, that perspective is not for me. Other genres I dislike are racing and sports.

8) I used to work at GameStop. Yeah, I used to hock discount cards and game reservations. I'm so ashamed of myself...

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