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Comcast: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Turd Sandwich NVGR
V3r1n | 8:12 PM on 10.13.2008 10 comments


Rant Alert:

So I'm sitting here, trying to watch the New York Football Giants trounce the Cleveland Steamers (Browns? Really?) and my HD broadcast is skipping... Like 1999 when you put on your Greenday Dookie CD that hadn't left the player for 6 months and it just stops working...



In a futile attempt to remedy the situation, I switch over to the non-HD ESPN figuring, 'Hey, since its lower quality, it probably will be EASIER for Comcast to pull off some standard definition broadcasting.'

Wrong, dead fucking wrong.

Standard def TV, skipping, losing picture, loud scrambling noises. This is 2008 and I can't watch TV. I used to watch TV on an antenna, and if I stood just right, it worked. I can't even attempt this move with cable (Try picking up your cable box, stand on one leg and raise the box slightly above your head... See? Nothing).

You may be saying, "Yea, so what's your point? HD TV is way better than antenna anyday and you're a whiny bitch."

Well fuck you, but here's my point.

I agree, HD TV is awesome, I love it and can't imagine living without it (is that sad?). But if I'm paying $100 a MONTH ($1200 a year for the mathematically challenged, and that's for cable and internet, but the internet drops all the fucking time so I'll consider them one convoluted package of shit) shouldn't the service be at least relatively reliable? It's common sense but for some reason people accept the incompetance as part of the service. Let me try and describe this another way.

You walk into a local restaurant called Comcast Eatery, sit down and order a Coke and a Club Sandwich (service) from the waiter (customer support). Well, since this Comcast Eatery, you have to pay for your sandwich (service) ahead of time. No big deal right? Well it wouldn't be if your meal goes as expected. You sit there for 45 minutes, your coke doesn't come out, you figure they must be cleaning and slicing the tomato and lettuce, kneading the bread by hand and roasting a delicious turkey for your glorius club sandwich, because if its taking this long, it better be some delicious ass turkey. Eventually, usually 5 days later (this ain't fast food, its some complicated shit) you finally get your meal (service). You, now just thankful that there is something to eat because you've essentially fasted for 5 days, take a bite of your sandwich (attempt to use your service). Quicky you realize that this isn't a club sandwich, it's a turd sandwich, and it tastes fucking awful. You spit out the turd sandwich because you do not enjoy turd sandwiches and call for the waiter (customer support). You give the background history of your order to the waiter (customer service) and he appologizes for the inconvenience. He offers you a complimentary turd sandwich (service for a duration approved by customer service's manager) next time you come in.

This is where I get lost. I, completely dissatisfied with my trip to Comcast Eatery and disgusted by my turd sandwich (service) accept the offer a a complimentary turd sandwich in hopes that the next turd sandwich will be palatable. Of course, I already know that it's just going to be the same old, shitty turd sandwich.

How did we get to this point? How did people become so desensitized to terrible customer service and shitty products? Is it because I really don't have a choice, that I'm stupid or has our society just become accepting of mediocrity and lowered expectations?

How did we all learn to stop worrying and love the turd sandwiches? Now I'm depressed...



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10 comments | showing # 1 to 10

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Fleet3000's Destructoid Blog
i don't know. i have comcast and it sucks a lot too. so just know, you're not alone in your suffering.
ChillyBilly's Destructoid Blog
Man, I was THIS close to taking a sweet paying job with Comcast. Then I realized that I didn't want to work nights anymore that and I didn't want to justify shitty service to angry customers anymore. Oh and it's not just Comcast, I used to work for Charter and they're just as bad, if not worse.
AngelsDontBurn's Destructoid Blog
U Verse FTW!
SnakeDude4Life's Destructoid Blog
Time to burn THA MUTHA DOWN!!!
grassr00ts's Destructoid Blog
Da Browns are up big, your G men don't look so good. Although I can't say much as my skins lost to the worst team in all of football.

But to the point of your blog, i completely agree with you, shoddy service is unacceptable.
IceMax's Destructoid Blog
if its in your area, get FiOS. It's the best TV service I've ever had, and there internet is amazingly fast. I feel bad for people who have no other option but comcast for broadband.
Silverback 55's Destructoid Blog
I use FiOS for internet, I didn't like the tv option. Besides I must posses NFL Sunday Ticket (with Superfan) so DirecTV is the way to go.
Aziel13's Destructoid Blog
yeah poo samich
take a bite and smile
comcast PWNZ you
frozenbabylon's Destructoid Blog
I've not had any problems with Comcast and I've had them off and on for 5 or 6 years
V3r1n's Destructoid Blog
@frozen, lies, pure lies


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