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I can resist an opportunity to write about myself. I'm a protist and I like to party. I prefer a warm dry place to filter feed in cuz I'm lame and chapped. You can find me just absorbing nutrients in my house which is actually not a real house. Having lots of income and government reparation checks, I figured crashing my many cars and motorcycles will help alleviate the pressures of my life as I near twilight. I always get out and I plan on doing so in the near future some more. I thought this place could use some hideous looking me grace the c-blogs, having spent the last decade or so working behind a deep fryer pro bono. I actually discovered Destructoid through a hallucination.

If you can see my recently posted header, I'm a 96 years old Welsh woman dying occasionally through the internet. After retiring from the porcelain cat figurine game, I decided to go hard and live life in the fast lane to die young and be young forever. As a result, I came across this cloud where astrophysicists created tonics that allowed for time travel. I've ostentatiously followed the world of video games ever since then.

Well, this is my blog. I collect secular humanist art, dabble in electrolysis and play video games new and old. I've been playing video games for less than twenty days and I love playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 whilst drinking Budweiser with my friends. Don't feel sorry for me, I'm better than you. I, with the full support of the Player Haters Ball, have taken it up myself to hand out insults and discouragement to all corners of Destructoid. I also like handing out little bonus gifts as well depending on what's in the trunk of my Vespa Scooter on any given day. I do this because I have hate growing inside me. Dark, twisted things that need to have to be heard by people to let them know I'm better than them. So let me hate you.

Iím a professional UFC and MMA Fighter. Take a minute and get over that shock. I can say Iím an PS3 man, though Iíll support anything that advances sex robot technology (I love you Sackwoman). Iíve also got a Bud Lite, so I can take this whole manly thing on the road.

This is the blog of a Nintendo hater from Ohio, and proud of it! That doesn't mean I don't hate other things, though.

I does not have a facebook because Myspace is better. Will salivate at the very mention of anything related to Coldplay. I hate on any form of visual/entertainment medium. I attempted to create a blog to officially enter the 21st century, doing something mean to it.
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Hello. Chances are that if you are reading this, you're a loser. If you have a pulse and a brain stem, then chances are you definitely not cooler than I am. I'm the epitome of of a man. Women throw themselves at my feet, and I rebuke them with my awesome will. The common harlots which litter this planet are not worthy of my seed, and I also don't have any "friends." Why bother? They are nothing but a burden on those with super powers such as myself.

Anyways, video games. I play them. If I do not love a video game, I demand my money back. I always succeed because it's just easier to give me back my money than it is to try and withstand the horrific verbal assaults I am capable of. My favorite video game is not of this plane of existence. It lies elsewhere, waiting to be awakened by me as it only exists to please me.

I still play video games, nonetheless. I have an eggsbawks and a Wii. I will not get a PS3 because it has no games.

I hate this place. The person I hate the most is one HandsomeBeast. He's an idiot and a moron and also, he is me. If you are reading this, it is only because you went out of your way to investigate a comment which did not sit well with you. I will, therefore, destroy you through sheer will power through the series of tubes that is the internet.

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