As a white man living in a nice neighbourhood with a decent part-time job and a loving family and girlfriend, it is my duty to defend ethnic minorities who are not fortunate enough to be blessed with an internet connection or the sense of self respect necessary to do so themselves. So, I vowed to seek out and expose all the racism in video games. In the past, I have used my journalism to journalise the racism in the racist Japanese video game Pikmin. Now I will use my piercing Internet integrity once again to call out the popular trend of racism in videos like the flighty rebel that I am.

Left 4 Dead takes place in Pennsylvania, Africa, which is highly insensitive after the tragic events of Resident Evil in which thousands of Africas lost their lives. There are corpses from that tragedy still waiting to be buried, and yet we have ‘entertainment’ such as L4D making light of it for your perverse satisfaction. Don’t take my word for it though; ask the 40,000 people who have been quick to voice their thoughts on this sensitive issue of racism with the boycott of the highly anticipated sequel, Phones 4 You.

This is just the tip of a very white iceberg. I played the game for months, oblivious to how totally racist the game was making me be. My first hint was when I heard that they had called one survivor Francis. This is an obvious reference to Francis West of the 1977 classic Dead Rising - a game made by Copcam, which has Cop in the name and everyone knows cops are racist and only arrest black people. Plus Francis says that he is a policeman in the game, and that made me really angry because if it wasn’t for the law there would be no crime.

But my biggest tip off came when I realised that the only black survivor in the game is a woman, clearly because they wanted to portray blacks as the fragile inferior sex. Louise is a constant annoyance, with her high pitched, whiney voice and the way she keeps pissing off the witch by making snide comments that are hurtful and unwarranted. She also has a stereotypical drug abuse problem which she is all too quick to remind other survivors of. This kind of blatant ethnic bias is the kind of thing that our society should not have to endure, not when I voted for Obama.

Given the difficult financial climate that we’re living in, I find it disgusting that my Xbox 360 has gotten the E74 error just weeks before Brutal Legend is set to release, and that I have to put down my controller for long enough to be subjected to the kind of burning insight that happens when I stop being distracted with pretty colours for 15 seconds. Because all colours are pretty in my eyes, and it’s about time America woke up to the racialocities that is everywhere around you.