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If you think Metal Gear Solid 4 is a masterpiece that set a new standard for storytelling in video games, you are not my friend.

You are my enemy.
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Ok, so here's the deal.

I've been intending to play this goddamn game with the intention of completing it. With the intention of facing my fears, taking them head on, and becoming a hardened bad ass in the process.

Sounds like an amazing goal right? There's just one problem: I am the biggest pussy ever.

This game terrifies me. I tried playing it drunk one night to try and calm my nerves and be numb to the anxious, creeping horror. It didn't work - I explored two new rooms in pitch black darkness and got uneasy with the sounds of footsteps creaking all around me. It was too much. I haven't even seen my first monster yet.

I know I've built it up in my head too much at this point. My imagination is getting the best of me - it always has. I keep reading how amazing this game is, and having conversations like this:



I started this blog in an attempt to keep me on track and fuel me with the encouragement of the Dtoid community... And I will keep to my ultimate goal of completing this game, even if it KILLS ME. My biggest issue right now is after the latest Steam sale, I have dozens of new games to distract me. This is usually how my thought process goes:



Hopefully this entire pansy experience will make my eventual victory that much sweeter, that much more empowering. But dammit, it might take me years to pull it off. I am not exaggerating. The fun part will be looking back on this blog and seeing how far I've come and how many wide-eyed, high-pitched screaming experiences I had to endure to survive.

I know I am being the biggest wuss ever. But I know I'm not the only one! And we must unite! We will overcome this fucking game!



... what the hell have I gotten myself into?
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“He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man."
- Samuel Johnson

I recently decided to make a definitive change in my life: stop being a pussy and start facing my fears head on. When there is that anxious feeling in my chest freezing me up and pulling me down, I plow ahead - leaving my comfort zone behind, determined to overcome myself and the unknown ahead of me.

The situation could present itself at any moment, and I must not hesitate to take on the challenge. Walk across the room and start a conversation with that pretty girl. Fear is the mind-killer. And I want to be fearless.

The newest demon to stand in my path is Amnesia: The Dark Descent.

Everything I've read about this game says the same thing: this game is fucking *scary*. Probably the scariest game ever created. I've always been a big wuss when it came to anything in the horror genre - as a kid I would hide behind the couch while my parents watched Tales From the Crypt. That show wasn't even god damn scary for Christ's sake. I am just that pathetic. Once my imagination starts spinning, I get overwhelmed. So you might understand how formidable of a task it will be for me to play through this game. It is the entire purpose of this blog - to document my struggle to survive this game while trying not to cry like a little girl and hurtle myself through the nearest window.

I don't even really like writing. Actually, I hate writing. But by starting up this blog, I feel I will be held accountable to stay on course and wildly plunge ahead into the darkness of this god-forsaken game. And I figure a few words of encouragement (and ridicule) from the Destructoid Community would do wonders for me as well! If anyone else has been putting this game off and would like to join me on my crusade, that would be seriously awesome.

As a word of warning, there will most definitely be spoilers of the game in this blog. And plenty of cursing as I try to describe the breathless horror I will be experiencing and the pants I will guaranteed to be shitting. I've played the first 30 minutes so far, seen no monsters whatsoever, and I'm already seriously creeped out. The sound design in this game is unreal... I'm already dreading the next time I start the game back up. Hopefully by writing this blog and getting a little support, I can find a way to man up and take this son of a bitch down.

Tomorrow I'm turning the lights off.... and putting the headphones on. I will experience this game the way it was meant to be played. I may never sleep again.

If I don't post a follow-up within the next few days, I'm probably dead.

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