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-2010 Sucked: Fable III Exemplifies the Year in Disappointement*Promoted Blog
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Way of The Samurai, Shadow of the Colossus, Castle Crashers, Jet Grind Radio, ICO, Super DodgeBall, Canabalt, Final Fantasy VI and X-Com are some of the finest games ever made in ever

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Players can elect to summon "cartoony" versions of bats, bombs, guns, and flamethrowers. These types of items can be used to destroy objects or even other summoned items (e.g., a club can be used to hit an animal; steak can be attached to a baby to attract lions; rockets can be lobbed at a man).

-From the ESRB description of Scribblenauts

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"Right after getting back to Japan, [Miyamoto] suddenly said: "You know we're including golf now." Apparently he'd stated in an interview that this time round golf shots would be determined by the backswing, even though at that time a golf game didn't exist in any shape or form!"

-A Nintendo Staffer explaining why Golf was added to Wii Sports Resort

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-Pendleton21 after listening to the disavowed Podtoid 94: So Baller

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because controller is unplayable"
-Luc Bernard re: the first release version of Eternity's Child on Steam

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"Just because u like a game doesn't mean u have to give it a high score"
-excerpt from the epic trolling on the Prototype review, inFamous/Protoype Wars, June 2009

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Slow Gamer is Slow: I just finished Twilight Princess . . .
Tubatic | 6:32 PM on 04.13.2008 18 comments



SLOWPOKE uses SPOILERS! Its super ineffective . . .

Hey, I got my Wii a year ago in April, I play a lot of WoW and I had to pickup and play
Prime3, Galaxy, NMH and Brawl. Get off my back.

The thing that's at once awesome and frustrating about the Zelda series is its ability to
bring it all home by the end of the game, connecting the Legend back around to itself.
Twilight Princess does a decent job of stating the validity of its presence in the "canon" lore
of Zelda during the end sequences. The principal players end up in a room again. There's
a stand off, there's rounds of final battle, and the action at the end of the game proves to
be pretty exciting and memorably dramatic.

The frustration comes in playing through the whole game to get to that end point. Its not
that i didn't enjoy the game a lot. However, for as much fun as I had, there was nearly as
much a feeling of wanting to speed through the very standard puzzle progression in the
game.

I kind of wish i could have a Zelda game that takes a very Shadow of the Colossus
approach to the lore. We've done so many puzzles already, lets just get Link into waves of
exciting boss fights. Skip the vegetables and go straight to the desert. That's really where
these games have excelled recently, and it would be just pure satisfying hedonism to get a
gluttonous, Link vs Evil boss-fest.


About 12 hours of this will be fine, please.

The other thing I'd want, is a Zelda game that crosses multiple eras in a single game.
Eternal Darkness did this, and I've loved it because of it. We get the point by now that this
is the same legend, being played out in different eras each game. Why not go all out, and
have a a single game that show's different generations connecting to fight the ever present
evil of Ganon? How about a reluctant Link, or a magic using Link that carries the sword for
its magical properties. Maybe a female Link existing in a world that refuses to accept a girl
as the chosen one?


Find this in somebody's bargain bin and play it.

There's so much potential with that universe that hasn't been tapped.

Ah well. I'll look forward to the next one, even if it is more of the same . . . I guess . . .



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16 comments | showing # 1 to 16
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B-Radicate's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2008 19:03
B-Radicate
I got TP for Xmas and still haven't even taken the shrink wrap off. You're not the slowest, apparently.

Also, as someone who has never played a Zelda game, I had NO idea that each game was supposed to be a different generation's take on the same story. No wonder they all always sound so damn similar, haha.
Arminas's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2008 19:03
Arminas
Meh I haven't finished it yet either. Maybe one of these days.
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2008 19:23
Aaron Mxy Yost
I still haven't finished it myself... I'll play through a few hours, get burned out, then put it aside for a month or two. I'm about due to go back to it, maybe after I finish Bully tonight.
IceMax's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2008 19:24
IceMax
@B-Radicate

Your not the only one, a friend of mine still has his copy of TP shrink wrapped sitting on top of his tv
F Whipple's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2008 19:32
F Whipple
I would kill for a steampunk zelda
Sindicate's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2008 19:36
Sindicate
i remember when i first played it, i was like 'meh', and im a huge zelda fan..but as the game went on it got really good, imo. it did take a bit different turn..it was really dark compared to all the other ones, which was nice..a more mature feeling to it.

but as for phantom hourglass, i've hardly played 2 hours into it.
Guagloves's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2008 20:18
Guagloves
I still haven't finished it either. I'm around 15 hours in and I know I still have a shit load to do. Also Eternal Darkness fucking rules. If you can find it buy it. I've never seen a game fuck with the player so much before.
Person of Lordly Caliber's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2008 20:20
Person of Lordly Caliber
I rented this game alongside Okami to put the question of which is better once and for all. I played Okami for 25 hours and Zelda:TP for 3. This Zelda did nothing but bore me through two dungeons worth while I zipped through 3/4 of Clover's better-than-inspired game.
And B-Radicate, you should keep the GC version in the shrinkwrap. In about 2 years that will be worth about as much as FFVII is now ($300+). Don't believe me? Then ask yourself why a free pre-order disk now costs $40.
VWGTI's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2008 20:49
VWGTI
I've finally made my way into the Desert temple. I'm not a huge fan of the wolf-form, and there are too many dull moments in the game. Still, there is a lot to love if you can find it in yourself to keep playing.
Tubatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2008 21:42
Tubatic
@BRadicate

Yep, its something they did through allusions early in the series (using similar names for characters, having the Master Sword reside in nearly the same sort of monument, etc), but made more and more pronounced ever since Ocarina of Time. Its actually a pretty slick running storyline and plays very well into the concept of this story being a legend.

The downside being the repetition of themes, assets, and dungeon structure :(

@F Whipple
Hells yeah.
DigDug's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2008 21:49
DigDug
I beat it in just under 12 hours with almost all the hearts and junk. It was definitely slow to start, but the story was totally worth it. I'm still pissed that Zelda is not getting a movie. IGN sucks!
Lavallee017's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/13/2008 23:19
Lavallee017
I picked up my Wii on release day along with TP and still have not finished it. It's not that it isn't an awesome game I just never got around to it.
ajay42's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/14/2008 00:01
ajay42
LOL! I am not reading this post Tubatic because tonight I ALMOST finally finished twilight princess. I just think its hilarious that we're both still trudging through this game. I seriously skipped over your post. When I finish the game (hopefully VERY soon) I will come back and read your comments!
Gasekura's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/14/2008 00:42
Gasekura
Yeah, I never got around to borrowing it from the friend who offered, but I also am hella slow and fundless when it comes to new video games (I just finished MP1 last week and I figured No More Heroes would be a nice break before I start 2). I guess the thing that gets me is that Zelda recycles elements when they're making a new game, and it leaves the sequels feeling stale at times. How many times can you discover the bombs and blow up the funny looking rocks to fight a Dodongo? I guess that's why my interest has dulled in the series, I'm comfortable knowing what happened in the game rather than having to play it.

I'd jump all over a slice-em-up Zelda game full of SotC style boss fights. Or one that linked all the stories together, or took a new spin on the same ol' (tired) legend.
SanityMask's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/14/2008 03:40
SanityMask
Twilight princess:
-1 for water temple
-1 for wolf form
-1 for not being cyberpunk yet

+3 for being what it is, a zelda game.
Tubatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/14/2008 10:06
Tubatic
@ajay

I'm really amazed that so many other people hadn't finished it either! Crazy coincidence, though!

I'll probably have a similar post for Metroid Prime 3 by the end of the week :p
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