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Way of The Samurai, Shadow of the Colossus, Castle Crashers, Jet Grind Radio, ICO, Super DodgeBall, Canabalt, Final Fantasy VI and X-Com are some of the finest games ever made in ever

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-From the ESRB description of Scribblenauts

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"Right after getting back to Japan, [Miyamoto] suddenly said: "You know we're including golf now." Apparently he'd stated in an interview that this time round golf shots would be determined by the backswing, even though at that time a golf game didn't exist in any shape or form!"

-A Nintendo Staffer explaining why Golf was added to Wii Sports Resort

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because controller is unplayable"
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"Just because u like a game doesn't mean u have to give it a high score"
-excerpt from the epic trolling on the Prototype review, inFamous/Protoype Wars, June 2009

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In Response to Anthony Burch's Not-Review of Metro 2033
Tubatic | 7:59 PM on 03.21.2010 34 comments



I started to comment, but it went a little long. So here's what I've got.

Let me say right up front that I dig what you do, Anthony Burch. I got something out of Runner, I like the way you frame games in terms of player agency (as a form of analysis), and I enjoy HAWP a whole bunch. I still think you're a really cool guy that does really cool things and I don' t need you to change a thing for me, or even engage this blog personally. That said, I'm not always a fan of your focus on what a given game *can be* over appreciating what a given game *actually is*.

Take your Not-Review of Metro 2033. I would have tried the knife next. But then again, I work in QA.

I get what's up here. Both from what you've written and how Sentry broke it down in the comments. On one hand, I can really appreciate the honesty of that decision to Not-Review. A game that puts a premium on the use of bullets and provides you with a situation that should reasonably result in the economic use of bullets should allow you to sneak up on a guy and bust him in the head with four shotgun rounds and move on. Instead, you get shot in the face for it and die. Frustrating, busted design when you think about it. Makes no sense. Sure.

But, I'll go ahead and say that quitting on a game for a balance issue sounds like you're quitting on a game for not letting you win it your way. Games have rules that run throughout and that's just what you're up against. Even if its a bug or a busted mechanic... that's the rule. If not for rules, why have a game?

Or to put it another way, a game is defined by its rules.



Consider Chess. Look, I think its stupid that the knight, riding the presumably most mobile thing for the era (a horse) can only move in these short, crooked movements, while the rook, whatever the heck that is, can move the entire length of the field. Does he have a teleporter? I dunno. But that's the evident rule of the board: Horses are retarded and Rooks have TARDIS's. You could say Chess is a game that denies its otherwise logical constructs of order and power. You could just as easily walk away from it unhappy with the rules. But you'll similarly be missing whatever someone that invests their time in the web of rules may see in the game.

Do what you will, as you have, and make your honest point about effective/efficient/supportive rulesets. But I'd have to understand anyone willing to plainly call you out on walking off in a huff because a game isn't what you suspect it could be. 'Cuz, I've got to say, that's kinda what you're doing.

If its busted, call it busted and score it. If you've made that determination without completing the game, sure, call it busted and score it. You can walk out on a movie and review it, I think that's fine for games too, right? If you feel compelled to see a game to its narrative end, sure, go for it. As someone very plainly stated in the comments 'bump it down to easy". I've done that as a consumer. But stopping short, and throwing your hands up? You might as well just follow procedure and add your lot to the local and global record of opinion. Your non-review has the same effect as a low score. It just doesn't hit meta critic. And if D-Toid is still pressing its edict of a true 10 point scale of opinion, I think its worth following through, one way or another, and adding your voice to this game's rap sheet.



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32 comments | showing # 1 to 32
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the Company's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 21:00
the Company
Wonderful, succinct blog.

I think, maybe, that your analogy to chess was a little strained, considering the close a medium comes to depicting reality - the harder it is for us to accept plainly unrealistic situations, but it got the point across for me.

Perhaps Metro will never get a score here on Destructoid, considering it seems to have been passed off by Jim to begin with for maybe similar reasons, but we've had a lot of negative talk about it, as well as a good share of positive feedback. So it's not like we don't have a clue, even if we were limited to browsing only this site, if we should look into it. But after all this news, it would be nice to have a final say, from someone here, even if it's as condemning as Anthony's Not-Review.
bluexy's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 21:20
bluexy
The guy didn't play the whole game, and thusly didn't feel comfortable giving it a full review. Seems like he did the right thing, to me.
Chris Carter's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 22:21
Chris Carter
I can see both philosophies.

If it was me, I would have just passed the review over to someone who could finish it enough to score it, though, and still posted my non-Review.
manasteel88's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 22:36
manasteel88
If anthony can't finish the game then he should have pushed it off onto someone else. Hell I'll finish the game for him if he needs it, but to post a Non-Review instead of just a regular criticism is silly. Right now Dtoid is suffering a backlash from perceived controversies over its reviews and its editorials. I'm sure its paying off in hits whether intended or not, but its also hurting the brand name. I'd have rather seen "Rev Rant: How the F*ck do you play Metro 2033" than a non-review.
Chris Carter's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 22:48
Chris Carter
@Manasteel88
Now that I think of it, making it a RevRant would have been fucking brilliant, and garnered a TON more discussion than the Non-Review.

Then advertise in the Rant that the review is "coming soon" from someone else.
Mike Moran's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 22:56
Mike Moran
I'm fairly sure the way Anthony Burch rants about what he wants a game to be instead of what it is is eventually going to result in him having Jim Sterling level hate, and I honestly think that he'll be a little more deserving of it than Jim. Many, many people still remember his rant on the movie Avatar and wondered what the hell happened.

He really does have a tendency to seemingly rant on something seemingly completely off-topic. This particular time I don't think Burch did anything wrong, though. It's not like I would want the guy to torture himself for the sake of a game review. Still, he really does seem like the kind of guy who has things ruined for him easily.
EdgyDude's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 23:20
EdgyDude
@Manastell88: Backlash? the hell you talk about man? i've never seen this site livelier, or what, you miss some fanboys that left because they didn't like a review/article?
Sentry's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/21/2010 23:54
Sentry
Knights are awesome. I'm crazy about knights.
electric goldfish's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 00:27
electric goldfish
I am not understanding why the reviewers keep hearing "I don't like you" when someone says they don't like or are disappointed with a review they read. At any rate, well said.
Beyamor's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 00:28
Beyamor
@Sentry
Your mom. Rooks are where it's at son.

I didn't interpret the Metro non-review as Anthony raging against the horsie not moving how he wanted it to as much as him trying to play the piece without knowing what the expectation for it was and then having it slapped out of his hand if he didn't pick the right square. He didn't say that the game was impossible or unreasonable but that, as it was presented to him, he didn't have enough knowledge to successfully play it.

That's why I feel the lack of a score was justified. He wasn't claiming that the game was unplayable, only that he couldn't play it. And I don't think we can say whether or not he should have spent more time learning to play without knowing how much he'd already invested into it. If he felt this was something he'd never be qualified to do, then I can appreciate him being upfront about it.
SuitcoatAvenger's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 00:36
SuitcoatAvenger
Nice blog, well worded and full of valuable points. I've not played Metro, but I would think that encountering a bug like that wouldn't be just cause for shutting the game off and calling it quits. I mean, if the game up to that point was a series of broken events that just didn't work at all (hello, Damnation), I would understand. This is a bit more like turning off GTA because your car flipped onto its roof instead of landing wheels-down after hitting a ramp.

Again, I haven't played the game. Maybe there's more to it.
comradetrotskii's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 01:04
comradetrotskii
But that's the evident rule of the board: Horses are retarded and Rooks have TARDIS's

That's a fucking ace line.
Tubatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 01:08
Tubatic
And for whatever its worth, I haven't played the game myself, so, as far as that could inform me, I may be slightly off in my criticism for the lack of that experience.

But I think the idea can be applied to any game
wanderingpixel's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 07:25
wanderingpixel
I want to play this game so bad. Now I want it even more.
Sean Daisy's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 08:53
Sean Daisy
If I'm presented with a gritty, immersive and realisitic world, I would ideally want this to permeate through the entire world.

If, by some miracle of ballistics, a close range shotgun blast cannot drop a slight frame of flesh and bone, it can rightly be considered a removal from such immersion, severely compromising a key element of the game.

I don't think the chess analogy fits. Chess is a deliberately abstract turn-based strategy game. Metro 2033 aspires toward a believable, realistic future environ.
Endstiem's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 08:55
Endstiem
Great writeup. I agree 100%.

You can pretty much apply Anthony's criticism and frustration to Far Cry 2, which is a game we all know he praises (as do I). However, in that game, even on the lowest difficulty, and enemy will take 4-5 bullets straight to the chest and head area and NOT EVEN FLINCH. Was it frustrating? Sure - but I learnt to adapt and move on.
mrcecilman's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 09:27
mrcecilman
agree with this. i love burchy burch and all but if your job is to review games, then you should fucking review the game instead of puss out and not do what you are paid to do. i would love to be able to chose not to do things i don't like to do at work and keep my job. kind of irritating because this game looks interesting.

keep livin' the dream, rev.
falinter's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 10:11
falinter
I think that his choice not to review it and the text within the non review are score enough.

The non review is still a review. Just with out a review score.
bodybreak's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 11:35
bodybreak
but falinter, a review score is what we all crave. what else are we going to compare to the metacritic average to determine if our Anthony Burch is the bias?
grafkhun's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 12:42
grafkhun
You just stated exactly what I wanted to say. I cannot express just how congruent this is with my thoughts. Anthony needs to remember game's aren't perfect and learn to deal with the bumps that happen. I do think he should go play STALKER as well, if he hasn't, I think going into Metro 2033 with some background will really help the experience.
grafkhun's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 12:52
grafkhun
You just stated exactly what I wanted to say. I cannot express just how congruent this is with my thoughts. Anthony needs to remember game's aren't perfect and learn to deal with the bumps that happen. I do think he should go play STALKER as well, if he hasn't, I think going into Metro 2033 with some background will really help the experience.
eduh's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 14:01
eduh
Anthony's non-review was probably more useful than alot of reviews i read where the author does not even try to offer the reader a minimum of objectivity.
DoctorTabarnac's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 16:18
DoctorTabarnac
Kudos for a worthy argument, although I still enjoyed the non-review for what it was. I think you're right about the fact that his point will be less discussed than if it had been made in a more accessible, "conventional" format, and that some concessions could be made in this regard. But as you said, there is still something to be said for the honesty of the piece, despite the not-very-professional nature of what is essentially a rage-quit.
Kyle MacGregor's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 17:04
Kyle MacGregor
That's a game I had been looking forward to for a long time, only to find out that it was no longer going to be realsed on the PS3, and between that and a few other games had me considering buying a 360. So, I really appreciate Anythony sharing his experience and thoughts on the game because things like that absolutely infuriate me as a player.
Jumbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 18:07
Jumbo
I was going to comment on this blog but in the beginning of the "Consider Chess." paragraph you use the incorrect form of "its". I'm sorry, but when I'm reading a blog post and the writer fails to include an apostrophe where CLEARLY an apostrophe is warranted, nay, absolutely NECESSARY in order to make grammatical sense I just give up. I got six paragraphs and embedded jpeg in and then I just threw up my hands and said "fuck it!". How do you want me to interpret that sentence? Who possesses the stupid? Which non-gendered noun is the intended antecedent of your apparently possessive pronoun? I have no idea. So I'm just going to give up and present this non-comment as my comment.
Tubatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 18:10
Tubatic
@Jumbo

....

You're aaaaaaaalright!
Trebz's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 18:14
Trebz
I agreed with everything up until "If its busted, call it busted and score it. If you've made that determination without completing the game, sure, call it busted and score it."

If you're barely anywhere into the game and you've decided that you can't play it, don't form an entire review based off of what you've seen so far. It was better a choice to just say "You know what, I can't form a real conclusion based off of a small snippet of gameplay."

However, I do think that the review should be given to someone that actually can play Metro 2033. It's not like there are only two staff members on DToid.
KingSigy's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 19:02
KingSigy
I don't think he's quitting because the game isn't being easy. It does sound more like broken design. I wouldn't continue playing this game if I had rented it, so I don't think he really needs to continue if he is constantly dying at a particular checkpoint.
dj-anon's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 19:27
dj-anon
If he (Anthony) gave you the reasons on why he wasn't able to write a proper review, then you should look elsewhere for a review or find out yourselves. I don't see the problem here since he is not obligated to score a game he didn't finish, not to mention he is not obligated to finish the game and if he posts his opinion about said game, you have to take it for what it is worth.
Tubatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2010 23:27
Tubatic
@dj-anon and KingSigy

The way it reads to me, its not a matter of being unable, but rather unwilling. Anthony's a very capable gamer: He's at the top of all my friend leaderboards. Which for sure is a valid response to a game.

But, if its a valid response that we can all take something away from, why not go ahead and stick that into the Destructoid scoring system, which prides itself both on using the full 10 points and doesn't restrict the reviewer from mincing words about their experience?

This is about as much review as I need to 1) not buy 2033 2) want to rent it to see what the fuzz is about, because I have a sense for how my opinions tend to line up with Anthony's.

With all that valid and good consumer affective stuff going on, it may as well be a scored and registered review.
KingSigy's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/23/2010 17:48
KingSigy
I still don't see the difference, but I can understand your point. Maybe this is so bad of a game to Anthony that it finally broke his will to continue. If that's how you're reading into it (he's unwilling), then it should be a sign that the game is bad and do not bother with it.
mrcecilman's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/23/2010 23:14
mrcecilman
@jumbo

your non-comment just made my head explode with its brilliance. maybe you should've thought that one through some more you dick because NOW I DON'T HAVE A HEAD.
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