Nuts to your preamble. Substance!
1. Tubatic has been FrontPaged like 30 times. Alright, like... 5? 5 sounds about right, yeah?
At any rate, Tubatic has been frontpage promo'd a few times. That make him totally a big deal.
2. Tubatic has had his name butchered and/or forgotten on every official Destructoid podcast run based in America. He asks, hands down, some of the worst questions. Its amazing, really. His real and internet name have also been attached to segments of the Gamers With Jobs podcast and the Giant Bombcast.
3. Tubatic has met, like a bunch of Dtoiders that one time at a BaltiNARP. He awkwardly cut into the MAME cabinet rotation, lost at pretty much every game he played, and sat behind Topher and Samit and watched most of the Fifth Element. He met Nick Chester and the lovely Adam Dork totally leaned on him that one time.
Tubatic knows people IRL. Sorta.
4. Tubatic is pretty much the only Tubatic on the internet. Except that one guy on Gmail. Tubatic seethes about that every time he thinks about it. Nevertheless, Tubatic is the sole owner of tubaticprime[at]gmaildot]com.
Take my avatar to stick it to that one guy!
5. Tubatic has met other famous people as well. He totally almost checked Cuba Gooding Sr. into a hotel that one time. He also had a cousin in the NBA and is in fact godbrother of 38 Studio's Denise Kaigler. No really. TI attended her wedding in Boston when I was a little kid. We aren't tight personally, but our families totally know each other.
No seriously. True story.
6. Tubatic has a gamerscore of 13836. This is a pathetic score for someone that's had an Xbox for about 3 years now. Its embarrassing.
That one's the pity plea.
7. Tubatic is kind of a jerk. Aside from referring to himself in the third person, he can actually be found making snarky, clever or otherwise mean spirited comments and criticism, while he isn't busy being a generally cool and accepting dude. In my own head, I think I'm pretty cool. But at third person, yeah, I'm kind of a mean dork that likes puns and bad comedy.
Take my avatar because you don't actually want me there in person.
8. Tubatic is a sweaty man. Not to gross you out or anything, but I've just got to tell you: this guy over here is all waterworks. Its not that embarrassing, but a good hot day gives Tubatic an aura of humid murkiness.
Again, take my avatar because you don't actually want me there in person.
9. Tubatic is married. By this logic, he cannot fall madly in love with you in some wild mid-PAX triste. I'm sorry guys and dolls. I can't happen.
Take my avatar because I know (even after 7, 8 and 2), you'll totally fall in love with me in person and we won't be able to do anything about it! Save yourself the theoretical sexual frustration, ok?!
10. Tubatic will read and FAP everything you write from PAX onward.
Take my avatar because you crave that kind of attention.