Thanks so much for your participation in my contest. I got an overwhelming response from everyone who played along and it was truly difficult to select my favorite. If I were a rich man, I would send out shirts to each of you who entered. Alas, I am not wealthy. I'm an irresponsible louse, deep into dept over my addictions to gambling, drugs, and blackmarket turtle racing videos.
When it came down to it, I chose the winner based on who worked the hardest for it. Perhaps this is unfair, but I figured that this was the best way to decide. Otherwise my personal bias would have forced me to select my boyfriend Orcist, even though he didn't even submit an entry.
You all submitted hilarious signs, which is why I'm torn but ultimately happy to announce the winner as . . .
LostCrichton, please email me your preferred shirt size and address at: tristero [@] destructoid.com. The lovely whale shirt shall soon be yours. Wear it with pride, you silver-tongued rascal. Here's what the magical miscreant made for us. Not only was he one of the few that actually changed a sign in real life, he went one step beyond and submitted some computer generated ones as well:
There were tons of hilarious signs, maybe even a few that were more funny (King3vbo, TheGAMEGOBLIN, and Tron, I'm looking at you), but LostCrichton gets it for sheer elbow grease.
As a special treat in reward for your hard work, I got CliffyB from Epic Games to record an exclusive message just for you:
The rest of the signs were magnificent also and you all deserve a pat on the back for your mischieviousness. I hope to reward more of you in my next contest. If you have no idea what any of this is about, over the past week I ran a tiny vandalism contest, the sordid history of which you can view here.
Welcome to Destructoid, pinksage! I found myself a little suspicious about our new C-blog member when she began posting strictly Halo 3 related material after joining a mere handful of days prior to the big launch.
It turns out, Microsoft was so happy with pinksage's tireless volunteer marketing efforts on their behalf, including her work on staff at threeseparateWeb sites devoted exclusively to Microsoft products, that they decided to award her with their Most Valuable Professional status. While largely an honorary designation, being an Microsoft MVP does come with certain benefits. In corporate speak, it's called crowdsourcing.
The Internet Matlock beacon shone high in the evening sky and I knew I had to get to the bottom of all this. Was there a conflict of interest behind the scenes? I fired up an AIM conversation with pinksage and went undercover as a sorority sister in business school looking for career advice.
So, yep. I am once again proven wrong. It turns out that pinksage is actually a very sweet and helpful person, while I am still a pitiful, trouble-stirring jackass. Is the egg showing? Feel free to ream me in the comments. I've disgraced myself and my family. The only way to redeem my honor is by commiting public sepukku in penance for my crimes against her good will.
Seriously though, it's good to have you aboard, pinksage. Feel free to employ your marketing and graphic design skills on our behalf too! The GTR crew in general seems pretty down to earth and friendly . . . Danny rocked a PAX panel on game journalism with stylish aplomb. Anyone who was there couldn't help but notice he stood out as the only "cool" one. And pink's Gamerscore is nothing to shake a stick at, either. It's quickly closing in on the 20K mark. Perhaps it's just jealous rivalry over my puny score of 340 that I'm expressing through my tasteless Photoshop collage.
One of our community members designed this desktop wallpaper for me. His name is walnutthewise and he rules. He's generous, he's a genius and he's also my brother.
The best part is, this was totally unexpected. He messaged me on XBL and told me to look for a surprise in my email inbox. This beautiful gift was sent to me across the continent through the electronic vapors of the internets. I think he's started the campaign trail early for a nice Christmas present. What's at the top of your list, bro? A new bike? Hungry Hungry Hippos? Your wish is my command.
The Empire is building beneath your feet. You just aren't looking hard enough.
I have a friendly relationship with the kids in my neighborhood. I don't yell at them when they make too much noise. They don't call the cops on me when I'm smoking crack with my blinds closed tight at 10 a.m. on a weekday. When we run into each other in the courtyard we hang. We talk about scooters, toys and my job at the Seahorse Marina. This morning when I came back from the "post office" I found a lovely present on my doorstep. Now, I knew Destructoid was popular. Hell, I heard even the pope and Robert Redford read Weekend Destructainment. Apparently, with the Wii exploding in the casual market, the youngsters are reading the hippest video game web site, too, and they're drawering about it in chalk. I'm sorry, but this makes me want to care about the young folks (talkin' bout the young style). Excuse me while I close my blinds and play some Bomberman before bedtime.
Anyone who's attending PAX this year should know about the incredible contest Pink Godzilla is hosting.
Here's what's at stake-
"History of Nintendo Grand Prize Package:
Nintendo Playing Cards- Few people know that Nintendo used to make playing cards before they got into the video game business. This prize is deck of playing cards from the 80's featuring Mario and friends.
Brand New Color TV Game 15 System- Before the NES, Nintendo released a series of Pong consoles in Japan. This model is the second console ever made by Nintendo and was released in 1978.
A Messiah Generation NEX Console with games- Relive the legendary Nintendo Entertainment System with the Generation NEX. This system will allow you to play both NES and Famicom games and is compatible with all the original controllers and peripherals. An assortment of 8-bit games will also be included with the console.
Super Famicom with Messiah Wireless Controllers- The Super Famicom (SNES in the US) was Nintendo's second console. This system also comes with a pair of Messiah wireless SNES controllers.
N64 game console with Sin and Punishment- Sin and Punishment is a highly sought after title released only in Japan. Sin and Punishment was made by Treasure, the same company that made Radiant Silvergun and Ikaruga.
Japanese Wii Console with Dragon Quest Swords- The latest in the super popular Dragon Quest Series. Of course, with a Japanese Wii you will be able to download all of the coolest Japanese retro games through Nintendo of Japan's Virtual Console service."
I'm at work now, so unfortunately, I don't have the time to do this news the justice it deserves. But I know one of us from Dtoid will be able to win these if given the chance. The contest involves competing with staff members from Pink Godzilla on the following games:
"Super Smash Bros. Melee (GC)- This contest will test your fighting skills as you take on Elder Goban at Nintendo's popular mascot brawler.
Wii Tennis- Get in touch with your inner Andre Agassi as you take on Elder Taragan at Wii Tennis.
Double Dribble (NES)- Lace up your high tops for some classic hoops action as you take on Elder Matsu at Konami's 1987 basketball game.
Guitar Hero 2 (PS2)- Take on Elder Danjamin in a Pinkathon Battle of the Bands.
Mystery Game!- If you can make it past the Pinkathon gauntlet with at least one win, a mystery Elder will challenge you to a surprise game. Will it be Shaq-Fu? Rock and Roll Racing? Pitcher's Duel? (Here's a hint. The mystery game will be a popular puzzle title.)"
After two years of watching silently on the sidelines, I've come to my senses and realized that the Xbox 360 is the essential console to own this generation. As game after awesome game began to drop for the system, the evidence weighed against my prejudices. I now own what I've pejoratively referred to in the past as the "Halo machine". Thanks to Dale North's hot tip I was able to snag an Xbox Premium off of Amazon last week for close to $300.00.
I have some leftover champagne from my interview with Jorge Garcia a few weeks ago, so tonight I'll be drinking a glass in honor of Dale and his fortuitous timing. You're all invited to join me in the celebration. You'll have to excuse me if my words are a little slurred; that's just the enthusiasm talking. There is one person however, who isn't invited to my party, and that's my blue-faced, ashamed little console in the corner, the Wii. He's holding his breath until I agree to play with him again.
The 360's been a houseguest for only a few days but the Wii's already been demoted from its component cable hookups. The 360's overwhelmingly convenient and comprehensive interface, coupled with the depth and polish its games feature, has made my beloved Wii look like a chintzy toy from the back end of a supermarket.
I've loved my Wii so far, and the line up for the end of this year looks phenomenal, but I can't help but feel a little . . . taken advantage of? For $50 more, the 360 gives me true next-gen graphics, downloadable demos for practically every freakin' game released for the system, online multiplayer for arcade games, original titles created exclusively for download, precise and customizable matching for Bomberman showdowns, video or voice chat with friends while I simultaneously listen to MP3s from my iPod, all in the background of a free game of Geometry Wars.
If this were a breakdancing battle, this would be the part where Nintendo falls on its ass as it tries to bust out its super helicopter spin. Wait, don't leave guys! Let me show you my free Everybody Votes Channel. . . Guys? Is anyone still here?
Sorry, Wii. We all went to the other room to watch MTV's The State, the fucking coolest show ever, as of yet still unreleased on DVD, but somehow amazingly available for download for $2.00 on an Xbox.
I'm still breaking this little puppy in, but my experience with Microsoft's little-box-that-could has been nothing but superlative so far.
Colette recommended that I check out the demo for Eternal Sonata. This game has a truly beautiful color palette and an engaging and inventive battle system. One of the things that makes the Paper Mario games so fun is the sense of involvement in every battle. Eternal Sonata has incorporated this idea of an active battle system but has added its own unique spin. From what I can tell, there seems to be a theme of Darkness and Light, in which your position on the playing field influences the types of commands you are able to pull off. If you are standing under the shadows of trees, your character has dark themed magic attacks available to them. If you're under sunlight, you've got another set of moves to choose from. You'll constantly find yourself strategically positioning your characters in real time to execute the most advantagous spells. You can also guard against enemy attacks if you execute perfectly timed button presses. This gives the battles a real sense of urgency and keeps the player actually "playing" the game during every second of screen time. Props for the great recommendation, and I'm definitely looking forward to this one.
The Bioshock demo was also downloaded by moi and I won't waste your time rehashing how mind-asploding this was. All I can say is, we're lucky to be alive and playing games at a time like this.
My first foray into Xbox Live was brought about my brother, walnutthewise, who generously gave me a free month of Gold. If you don't know my brother yet, he's a long time reader of Destructoid who just recently started a brilliant philosophical series in the C-blogs on the topics of free will and transhumanism vis a vis video games. He's a super cool guy who bought me a DS for Christmas. Word is bond. Respeck.
Both of us are jonesing for some cool Xbox live friends and Destructoid is without a doubt the place to meet other super cool people. Walnut tried fishing for some pals on the Destructoid forums, but we fear that the thread might be gasping for its last breaths. If you want to kick it on Xbox with a pair of wild and crazy guys, please add us.
My gamertag is "Silent Tristero" and his is "Wise Walnut". Catch ya on the flipside.