Too hot to handle, too cold to hold. You call the Sticky Bandits and we're in control. After a small absence (I caught a rare case of mononucleosis from my pet turtle . . . don't ask), I finally found the energy to run back outside and change some signs in honor of Mother's Day. For our readers in Argentina, Día de la Madre is only a few weeks away. I'm sure your dear matriarch would appreciate one of these touchingly Freudian sentiments printed up on a homemade greeting card, handed off during an intimate breakfast in bed served alongside media lunas and dulce de leche. What the hell am I talking about? You just want to see the signs.


That rehab animal is somebody's mother, but she's certainly not mine. Get some help, lady.


We were going to do another sign about Das Unheimliche, but we spotted a cop car.




That's right. Tune back in tomorrow for more! Saturday's edition will be the last in a long while. The Sticky Bandits will tickle your fancy for one last day before returning back underground to ride out the feds' investigation. It's going to be a monster one tomorrow, though. I promise not to disappoint. The whole first six installments have just been appetizers leading up to tomorrow's main course. Prepare yourself. In case you missed these, here are the earlier editions:

This is my hobby: Let me show it to you

This is my hobby Vol. 2: Christmas Shamu

This is my hobby Vol. 3: Religious Conflict

This is my hobby Vol. 4: President Bush gets pwned

This is my hobby Vol. 5: Oral Sex

So just how do you win that fabulous whale shirt our lovely model is displaying up there? I'll be giving away one of these nerdalicious shirts for free, in the size of your choosing, to the person who posts the best sign alteration over the course of the next week. If you scrounge up an old picture from your glory days that's okay. If you find something a stranger did on the internet, that's okay too. That's right. Just use the magic of Google. You can post it . . . it still qualifies. But I will admit, a sign you've changed yourself will be worth a lot more in the eyes of the judges.

Here's your only competition so far: A New Challenger's handiwork. My contest has been extended to Monday. Get your Google on.