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Gamertag: Silent Tristero
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Thanks so much for your participation in my contest. I got an overwhelming response from everyone who played along and it was truly difficult to select my favorite. If I were a rich man, I would send out shirts to each of you who entered. Alas, I am not wealthy. I'm an irresponsible louse, deep into dept over my addictions to gambling, drugs, and blackmarket turtle racing videos.
When it came down to it, I chose the winner based on who worked the hardest for it. Perhaps this is unfair, but I figured that this was the best way to decide. Otherwise my personal bias would have forced me to select my boyfriend Orcist, even though he didn't even submit an entry. You all submitted hilarious signs, which is why I'm torn but ultimately happy to announce the winner as . . . LOSTCRICHTON 
LostCrichton, please email me your preferred shirt size and address at: tristero [@] destructoid.com. The lovely whale shirt shall soon be yours. Wear it with pride, you silver-tongued rascal. Here's what the magical miscreant made for us. Not only was he one of the few that actually changed a sign in real life, he went one step beyond and submitted some computer generated ones as well: 
There were tons of hilarious signs, maybe even a few that were more funny (King3vbo, TheGAMEGOBLIN, and Tron, I'm looking at you), but LostCrichton gets it for sheer elbow grease. As a special treat in reward for your hard work, I got CliffyB from Epic Games to record an exclusive message just for you: The rest of the signs were magnificent also and you all deserve a pat on the back for your mischieviousness. I hope to reward more of you in my next contest. If you have no idea what any of this is about, over the past week I ran a tiny vandalism contest, the sordid history of which you can view here. This is my hobby: Let me show it to you This is my hobby Vol. 2: Christmas Shamu This is my hobby Vol. 3: Religious Conflict This is my hobby Vol. 4: President Bush gets pwned This is my hobby Vol. 5: Oral Sex This is my hobby Vol. 6: Oedipal Complex This is my hobby Vol. 7: Final Blowout Thanks again to everyone who participated for all the larfs! Destructoid is truly my home away from home.
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Living the dream since March 16, 2006
Aerox, you rule.
MATTFOO, thanks for stopping by.
Wedge, I would have sacrificed my own baby to have met you at PAX. Maybe next time.
Taumpty, Race War Monday was hell. Thanks for the warning.
A New Challenger, as my first contestant, you will always have a special place in my heart.
bleep, I just now saw your signs! How cool is that? I'm sorry I didn't see them in time, but you get major kudos from me on your work.
Tell me about this tradition of licking your ass: is it an annual or seasonal observation? Or does it commemorate a certain type of event?
(guess what I been playing...)
@ A New Challenger: It's a seasonal tradition set around the Christmas holidays.
Great contest Tristero, lots of lulz were had
I look forward to seeing more of such shenanigans in the future.