Author's Note: This post contains heavy, heavy spoilers for the Uncharted series.

Uncharted wouldn't be what it is without a little romance. Sure, we signed up for guns, acrobatics, blowing up heavy artillery, and punching snow demons in the face. But, and many of us wouldn't admit to this, we need to see Nathan Drake make the moves on a lady almost as much as we need those things. After all, Uncharted is an action flick turned video game, and like his manly predecessors, Drake needs to embody just about everything we wish we were, and that includes a hot, witty woman at his side.


The face of man who gets the ladies.

But where Uncharted treaded that familiar ground like a bowl of corn flakes, Uncharted 2 threw a little spice into the 2% milk of our expectations.

Let's take a look at some action protocol, shall we? Indiana Jones (Crystal Skull be damned) had a different love interest in each movie. Metal Gear Solid 4 dropped Meryl's interest in Snake with a single line and a gesture; Batman couldn't get a second date if he tried, and Megan Fox may have lived through two Transformers movies, but just you wait.

If the greats (read: Not Transformers) could just drop women from scripts like two ton bricks, why would Nathan Drake ever have to look back on Elena Fisher? After all, enter Chloe Frazer. Every bit more woman than Elena ever was, Chloe is drop dead sexy, her voice is that perfect level of husky that will sound disgusting by the time she reaches 60, and both her wit and her way with a gun are nothing to scoff at.


This woman makes the internet happy.

At first, that's exactly what Uncharted 2 does. There isn't a mention, or so much as a nod to Elena, and we can all safely assume that her voice actress had been written out of a job. It's business as usual in the action industry. But then...

BAM. Drake turns a corner and comes face to face with she which should not be. With a few very convincing lines about journalism, Elena has been written into Uncharted 2. This scene is fantastic, by the way. In almost literally less than two minutes of dialog, we as viewers accept Elena's presence in war-torn Borneo of all places, get a quick one-line vague answer to what happened between the two games, establish a rivalry between Elena and Chloe, and are given reason to wonder whether or not Elena and her camera-man are an item. Holy crap.

So what has Naughty Dog DONE? Drake is now faced with not one, but two female protagonists. The possibilities are fairly finite. One, none... or both, but it was probably safe to rule out the menage a trois right there. The game does a great job letting you oscillate between the two ladies. One steps in, the other steps out. Drake's insistence on playing the hero and going to rescue Chloe send us spiraling in her direction, but Chloe's out-and-out refusal to be saved made us slide back toward Elena.


The girl next door you took that slightly awkward picture of where her mouth was open in a totally weird way, but you kinda like her anyway.

Who did YOU want Drake to end up with? I haven't done any research, but I bet a lot of the internet sided with Chloe. For reasons I've already stated, she one-upped Elena in a lot of ways. But... I think there were a lot of subtle things about Chloe that just told us it wasn't going to work out. And this was a very brave decision on Naughty Dog's part. I really credit them for introducing the sex and then taking it away.

Get past her great ass, and you find Chloe is temperamental, stubborn, and self-serving. The contrast to Elena is stark, and if you haven't figured it out by the end of the game, the scene where they're debating whether or not to fight or flee hits you over the head with it. Nathan Drake is a self-sacrificing hero who wants to see things end right not only for himself, but for the world. Elena has the same philosophy. Chloe, not so much.

The end of the game pulls a fantastic trick on you as well. The perfect answer to letting Drake have the woman who isn't perfect for him but keeps the sex appeal in the game is to simply kill Elena. One grenade and a bloody blouse later, Elena is on her way to meet Aeris. We fade out to a funeral and... well, you know how it ends. With the kiss he never got last time.

The inevitable Uncharted 3 should prove interesting. Will we feel comfortable enough with Elena that she can be made into the sexy symbol? I mean, she's nothing to scoff at, and a swimsuit shot might be particularly eye-opening. Or will Naughty Dog stay classy, and tell you that Uncharted doesn't need sex to sell. Or... Perhaps she'll simply fade away to that land where action heroines go, and a new lady will enter the fray. Only time will tell.

The author of this article finishes games 3 months to 3 years after they are relevant and then wonders why he finds himself speaking to an empty room.