Trasherhead's Profile - Destructoid

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Name : Markus J.L.
Alias : Trasherhead, Cumladen
Sex : Male
Level : 22
Birth : 1986 BC
Death : 1999 AD
ARTIQ : 115
Guardians : Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva
About : A Cynic and A Saint

Strength :6
Perception :7
Vitality :9
Charisma :9(+2)
Intelligence :9
Wisdom :8
Agility :6(+5)
Luck :7
Sanity :3(-5)

Blacksmith - "hammer that iron while its glowing red hot and duck while im welding."
Bard - "Long live Rock and Roll, Long live Rock 'n' Roll..."
Survivalist - "I believe in God, only I spell it Nature"
Veteran Gamer - "They made games befor CS and Halo, trust me."
Advanced Cooking - "Exact measurements? No Sir, true food should be enigmatic"
Berserker - "Why im dressed in animal pelt, reciting algebra in latin while stuffing marbles up this
old lady's ass? Well you know, I was cleaning my toilet and..."

:The Hands:
"But my luck keeps holding so strong,
even with the state I’m in.
I’m like a revolution of one, even when I stumble I win."
- Some divine entity seems to take pity on you (Luck +5)
:Psychedelic charm:
"Dan: Markus, are you hallucinating?
Markus: Oh, yeah, but not right now."
- A lifetime of mental abuse, metal music and missmatched pills have left you with
a funny smile on your face and rater strange opinions. (Charisma +2 Sanity -5)
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm
not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
- People tend to go "wha.. whaT?" after speaking with you.
- Once at the sanitorium the nurse droped you in the nuclear waste disposal and now your
stuck with 3 kidneys, a huge beard and a tattoo of a scull on your arm.


Son of the Sami demi-god Rivojen and the scorpion demon Sasori, Markus was unleased unpon an unprepered world.
After years of in what they call "scholeion" where his mind was shaped through fire, radiation and faul fiends he died
only to walk the earth. For the one who has God as his judge would not let him die, for he sacreficed the
second, third and seventh to breath life back into the withered body of Markus.
Thought never quite alive again he could never fully die again, cursed without a soul to feel forth others.
In later years a woman named, who's name is sounded Bethia by the ages, colided with the lost hero of the gods.
For some illogical reason, that broke the rules of human nature, she found an intreset in this poor excuse
of a superior being and soon after they joined in cosmic battle of spirites and wits.
By some unexplained magic she was able to call back and rebuild his broken soul and give him emotions.
For years he walked the earth, like a behemuth of cosmic rage, and no mater how many times they
tried to make him stumble he could never fall and no mater how hard the choked
him there was always something there to give him air.
For he was favored by the gods of old.
Following (2)  

In FPS games you have your average Assault rifle, your average RPG/rocket launcher, a shotgun, a nade and a pistole. Then you have variations of those.
But then you have weapons that wasn't average, that wasn't crap, that was only damn good fun to use.
I am talking about Timesplitters' Bouncing Betty proxy mine, dual wielding gatling gun, "the brick", UT's saw blade gun and Painkillers Stake gun.


Proxy mine: This was an awesome weapon to use in multiplayer. You could stick this onto anything and anyone. It was just a bouncing booming surprise. Going through that door? BAM and your dead cause I placed a proxy over the door, either hitting you in the face as you were going into through the door or getting you in the ass if you were leaving. Anywhere was a potential death-trap with this baby.
The last time we saw this bouncing ball of fun and flames was in TS2.

Dual wielding gatling gun: How could this NOT be a fun weapon? spewing out a billion bullets each sec, this weapon was poor death were ever you pointed it.

The brick: What can I say, it is a morter brick. With insta-kill that is! IF you where able to hit anyone with it. "oh you have dual wielding gatling gun do you? well eat brick in your head! BAM dead!"

-:Unreal Tournament:-

The saw blade gun: This awesome headremover bounced around the map like... well... bouncing blades. Chopping every head of in its path. This gun, unlike the rest, will get its rebirth in Resistance 2 this fall and it will be awesome. Just hope they let us use it in multiplayer.


The stake gun: You could nail people unto walls with stakes! ANd they would just hang there. Tell me whats NOT cool with that and I'll give you and Internet bitchslap so hard your Internet connection will drop out for a week!

This are just some of the weapons that should be brought back into the limelight of the FPS genera. If you don't agree, well then you just havn't owned and been owned with and by these weapons.

When I judge a game as look at how its presented(gameplay and graphics) and how long it actually keeps me entertained.

So what the hell happened? Sure games look greater then ever (no they don't, the art sucks monkey), but they play awefull and keeps my attention for what seems like 5 minutes compared to the "Great Ones" (The Great Ones blog soon to come).
I remember games that kept me playing for months. Games like FF7, Suikoden, Tekken 3, Gran Turismo, Super Mario World, Fallout, Civilization, Monster Bash, Heroes of might and magic 3 etc. These are all games that I probably have 10s of thousands of playtime on them.

The only 2 games the last 2 years that have kept my attention to this extent is COD4 and Valkyrie Profile 2. I bought COD4 on launch and I still play it.
Now just to get it on record that I have bought almost all heavy hitters like Oblivion, Assassins Creed, R6V and R6V2, Motor storm, Bad Company, Enchanted Arms, GTA4 and Sins Of a Solar empire.
All of these had something wrong with them that completely destroyed the game.
Oblivions leveling system, R6V was crap ported to the PS3 which was the system I played them on, Motorstorm's boring environment, Bad Company was so generic that it I simply got bored, Assassins Creed wasn't a bad game per say just not a game for me, Enchanted arms... it simply sucked, the gameplay and the graphics where horrible, GTA4 was simply just GTA with a lot less of what made the other GTA great and SOASEs diplomatic system just made me hate the game.

Then you have ok to great games like MGS4, resistance, Bio Shock and Painkiller that simply can't keep my interest for more then a few days before I get bored of them.
When I pay 100 to 120 $ for a game I want it to last for a couple of weeks before I get bored of it, NOT a couple of days. And yes, that is what games costs in $ here in Norway.

So tell me i am wrong for wanting a game that actually keeps me entertained.