SPOILER: Long post is long, avoid if busy or allergic.


Hello!



First "real" blog (not counting an entry in the MGS Podtoid contest - above picture related) but been a visitor and random commenter for long now, aswell as hanging around the IRCartel fairly non-stop. I love this site for its general attitude and the presence of so many amazing people sharing love for "gamer culture". Fact: This is the first community - and I have been part of many over the last decade - where I cannot on the fingers of both hands count the people I'd like to meet. My horrible geographical location has ruined "dreams" for me before, but sooner or later I'll have to try to move so who knows! Hopefully - and hopefully really soon (as my current employment is running out) - a new job will fall from the sky and it would be cool to work with something cool in a cool place for once.
Cool.

I really need to thank Destructoid for slowly pulling me back on track when it comes to gaming. I was at a point where I knew it was my passion and lifestyle, but it ironically wasn't also fun. Emo storytime!



I consider myself a passionate gamer ever since the first time I played the NES. Despite remembering almost nothing from that age, I remember gaming moments as if they were yesterday. First time I tried Super Mario Bros., at my would-later-become-stepfather's place, I ran out of time during the first level. Second attempt, fell into the second pit of the map. It's crystal clear, as only something special would be. I remember a house that I would never have remembered if it wasn't for all the times I beat Mega Man 2 in it...

Fast forward (huge leap) to a turning point I'd like to talk about: PC.


Anyone else miss these kind of boxes? I do!

It started out awesome. The above games were some of the first ones I bought myself, when I was still on my first own computer - a 486DX4@100MHz with 24MB RAM and 2 hard drives (512 + 202 MB) - and I love them all to this day. However, the one to the right would prove to be dangerous for me...

Quake multiplayer, focusing a lot on individual skill and introducing the concept of playing in a clan, took things to another level.


That .pcx was not as easy to open as it was 8 years ago... Photoshop did a brave black/white pixel-mess attempt.

It was still a lot of fun though. Maybe because we weren't very serious, and not very good. The "team" part basically meant a tag in front of the nick and being extra friendly with others who wore the same. No big deal.

Games of varying quality came and went, but I was kind of stuck in the FPS genre and slowly getting better at it. Improving because I played and gave it my best, stuck because improving feels nice. But hey, as long as it feels nice, that cycle isn't too bad!

Then, in 2002, came The Game. I started because I had real life friends playing it, and it was really good in multiplayer (as opposed to the awful singleplayer that turned most people away). But man, with a serious team that had voice communication, tactics, regular practises and competed in leagues and cups, things got serious.


I was 18 there. Probably a good FPS gamer age.

I liked it in the beginning.

In the middle, when the team I had created became the best, I loved it.

...But.

I realize later, that it must also have been the turning point. While continuing to be the best in what we did, and in particular dominating the only three cups with prize money (in a row), it all just went downhill.

What are you striving for when you're at the top? You'll have a couple of people rooting for you, but you'll have everyone else wanting to see you go down. More to lose than to gain each time signing up for a new cup. The prize money was basically a hundred bucks each when split between the whole team.

There is an easy answer, but the very fact that we, or atleast I, had forgotten about it, shows that it was gone.

Fun.

But I guess, after over 40 full official cups (partial but out of date list) over 5-6 years where you enter nearly all of them with the wish to win, things can get twisted.


I played every second of every round, every match, every cup... Fun fact: Almost all games were played 4x20 minutes. With breaks between every side. And of course some pre- and postgame whining.

Don't want to whine too much though, a lot of good times were obviously had and I'll remember many things for life. Became as much friends as you can online with many of my players, and met some in real life. Even went on a sponsored trip to the "Netgamez" LAN in Holland with one of them (first time in an airplane for me!), meeting up with our dutch CoD2 squad and a couple of guys from managing/the CS:S squad, really cool people. Should he ever read this; thank you Jos (Sikoefietall) for not having us all killed as you were driving us on the lawless roads of Amsterdam, PC equipment blocking the view and sweet smelling cigarretes in mouth.

I joke about it, and it was funny then, but it wasn't quite as funny not long after when one of our CS:S players, Frank (Vivid) - R.I.P. - actually died in a car crash. Hardly knew him and never met him, but will never forget it. Strong stuff even if the clan was the only thing we had in common.


Happened to work with this stuff back then so made them myself. Reflexive = awesome.

Haven't really done much in competitive gaming for the past year. On and off flirting with Call of Duty 4 but haven't truly had the will or time. Atleast not for "seriously" playing something that won't lead anywhere (as mentioned, attending LANs or even proving anything online is not quite easy with the geographical issue). So what does one do?


Shitty webcam + Autostitch creation. Larger image here.

FUN GAMES AGAIN!

Just recently stacked up on some more consoles; actually didn't even have a PS2 until quite recently. Changed that though, got a Wii aswell (Mario Kart is so fun in splitscreen battle vs. internet, and having loved the previous two iterations, Brawl will be epic when it finally reaches EU), and the DS has been around for a good while now but still rocks.

Like I said, Destructoid and the podcasts have played a huge part in "the finding of the fun again", and one of the recent damages done is hyping all things Metal Gear. I had never played any of the Solid games before, but by the time that Podtoid episode was over I knew I loved it. Thank you for describing the game(s) so well that there was no doubt left whether they were for me and whether I should get them. Also, of the IRCartel; thank you Excremento for the help in knowing what to buy (confusing with all the versions and re-releases) and thank you Gemsi & BunnyRabbit2 for the idea and help with setting up the PS1 emulator for the PC as my PS2 memory card would not let me save in MGS1. Which I beat in two sittings anyway. Holy crap that was a good game.


UH OH


Can't wait to get on to the other two, and fear a PS3 must be acquired whenever I get a new job. Atleast I have the TV for it (40" Full HD LCD) as of two weeks ago, when my friend Lars (Ladelulaku) came up with his 360 (seen two pics ago) and we had to have something to run Halo 3 and GTA IV on.

Speaking of Halo 3, I suck horribly at FPS games with gamepad. My youngest little sister destroyed me in the first Halo years ago. I kid you not, she stood on my head and sniped me. That's how well I do without keyboard and mouse. But with my New Amazing Play For Fun Mentality (tm) it doesn't matter so there! I got a triple kill in Halo 3 first time playing it anyway, and it was sweet.



Also looking forward to some new great shooters and fighters in 1080p. The very little of the Ikaruga demo on the 360 had me drooling again... Don't have a Dreamcast, and while emulating works fine for Street Fighter III: 3rd Strike, it unfortunately does not for Ikaruga. Atleast not without some bad graphical glitches, as far as I've gotten.


My custom stick of infinite win needs action!


I've also been messing around with some music and really find myself jumping between styles and genres while making tests to improve my production (hopefully too muddy, mono, low but still distorting sound is being left behind). Just for fun I thought I'd throw some very random clips together and, if anyone is still reading this and haven't fallen asleep yet, ask if anything sounds like something I should expand on and if something is horribly balls. Would be fun to make stuff like jingles and maybe eventually soundtracks for indie games, who knows.

None of this is part of any finished tracks or anything, just me learning.


http://www.tindeck.com/audio/my/axfl/Torzelan_-_Very_Mixed_Stuff

Bored you enough I guess, hopefully it wasn't too much of a failblog as first entry but atleast it wasn't a oneliner and a youtube.

Actually you can have a youtube too; here's me playing some random videogame music stuff on the guitar. Not perfect or anything but hey, juuust for fuuun meeeeng...