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I don't know if you're aware, but every now and then we talk to J@ck Th0mpson. He's actually not such a bad guy; certainly not the rabid madman everyone makes him out to be. At least that's what I'd thought. If you're wondering why I'm spelling J@ck Th0mpson this way, it's because he apparently has a daily routine of obsessivley Googling his own name, and the last thing I need is for him to end up at this post and have another excuse to start emailing us again.

In any case, The Destructoid staff checked their inboxes on Friday to find this:

J@ck Th0mpson to Tips, 1:51pm:
"I don't have wet dreams. I'm sexually active unlike a large number of gamers"

Uh... 'kay. Thanks for that update. Why the fuck are you randomly telling us this out of nowhere? Then I remembered Gizmodo's post on HL2 with real guns that said othewise. I tried to clear up some confusion. Things took an unexpected detour into candyland shortly thereafter. I'll just leave this here.

Topher to Jack, 1:53pm:
"Perhaps you've got us mistaken for another outlet, sir.
http://gizmodo.com/5332305/half+life-played-with-real-guns-is-jack-thompsons-wet-dream "

Jack to Topher, 2:07pm:
"No, you have a story on it today, ace, and you're posting comments about my wet dreams. Really classy, but you're Destructoid, so what should I expect?"

Topher to Jack, 2:19pm:
"For starters, you should expect that I'd know today's date, which is the 14th of August, Twenty-ought-niner. If the story you're refering to is this one:

http://www.destructoid.com/half-life-with-real-guns-should-not-be-tried-at-home-143317.phtml

That was written on the 8th, nearly a week ago. Secondly, the only thing mentioning whatever business might take place in your sleep is a quote, taken from the original headline I linked from another website previously."

Jack to Topher, 5:36pm:
"My, you're dumb."

Topher to Jack, 5:45pm:
"A mature and eloquent response, but that doesn't quite provide us with any evidence to clear up the misunderstanding. Whatever site you happened to have seen this on, it wasn't ours, at least not today. Thanks for stopping by, though."

Jack to Topher, 10:37pm:
"it's at your site. grow up, stop bothering me, and clean up your pornheads"

Topher to Jack, 11:02pm:
"Correct me if I'm wrong, sir, but it was you who wrote us out of the blue this morning with unwarranted information regarding your sex life, which you have monumentally overestimated our interest in, trust me. Who's bothering who? All I asked was that you direct us toward this thing you've accused us of saying, which you appear unable to do. Most likely because we didn't say it and have no idea what it is you're even talking about. Ace.

Either way, I'm more than happy to end any and all discussion on the topic, as we really didn't need to know that. Enjoy your evening, sir."

Jack to Topher, 8/15 7:33am:
"I didn't write you about my sex life. I wrote you about scum like you. Go to Hell more expeditiously. thanks"

Jack to Tips, 8/15 7:35am: [Note: this was in 20-something point sized text]
"Here it is, you total moron:

http://www.destructoid.com/half-life-with-real-guns-should-not-be-tried-at-home-143317.phtml "

[Let the record show that this was the exact same post I linked to the first time, quoting Gizmodo's words, not ours, from a week ago. Not sure why it took him so long to find it.]

Matt Razak to Jack, Tips, 8:37am:
"Hi Jack,

As the author of that post I'd like to make it perfectly clear that the wet dream comment was a quote of the headline taken from the original source that Topher linked to in his original response to your email (http://gizmodo.com/5332305/half+life-played-with-real-guns-is-jack-thompsons-wet-dream). The wet dream comment was not mine or Destructoids so I'm not sure what prompted you to email us and not Gizmodo about that since I make it pretty clear in the story that it was their words.

However, I did infer that you're an idiot, and despite your unprofessional response to my colleague and friend, who you have now insulted twice, I will offer up an apology as I have never met you and can understand how your feelings could be hurt by such a barbed insult. Hopefully this clears up the confusion."

Jack to Matt, Tips, 8:44am:
"Feelings hurt? I don't think so. The problem is that video game enthusiasts who participate in posts such as this are simply serial slanderers. You know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about who I am, what I have done, and what my foibles are. I have many. They are not what the jerks at Destructoid presume. I went out to Dallas on July 4 to address the ScrewAttack convention, and the opinion of nearly every gamer there was that I am not the person described at Destructoid or GamePolitics.

You people need to grow up and learn that whatever you read on the Internet is very probably false. Most adults understand that."

Matt Razak to Tips, 8:58am:
"Well I tried..."

Jim Sterling to Jack, Tips, 9:06am:
"If what we'd done is defamation, technically we'd be serial libelers, not slanderers, Mr. Thompson."

Topher to Jack, 10:30am:
"You'd do well to take some of your own advice, sir. Remember, I was the guy who invited you to breakfast some time ago because I in fact don't believe every little thing I've read about you. I'll be happy to forward you those emails if you've forgotten. Upon reading them, or simply looking at the current conversation, you'll find that I've been nothing but respectful to you throughout every discourse we've ever had.

Why you feel the need to repay that with childish insults and instructions to go to hell is bit confusing, but I guess if one believes everything they read about gamers you might have assumed I was screwing with you. Whatever you're thinking, I haven't said or done anything to warrant your speaking to me that way. "Most adults" would apologize.

I'm done here if you are, Mr. Thompson."

Jack to Topher, 1:50pm:
"Topher, go be a gopher and crawl into a hole. all of you idiots there bore me"

[Note: LOL]

Topher to Jack, 3:40pm::
"... That's so goddamned silly I don't even know what to say.

Really Jack? Seriously? I hope you didn't spend too much time mining
that little gem. I'll leave you alone now, so you needn't bother
replying, but just... Wow."

Jim Sterling to Jack, tips:
"Seriously. His surname provides so much more ammunition!"

Jack to Topher, 5:44pm:
"get a real name. thanks"

[Note: Double checked my passport, license and all my mail just to make sure.]

Topher to Jack, 6:03pm:
"That is my real name, thanks. This is how you defend yourself in an
argument? Like an 8 year old? No wonder you're out of a job. Not
kidding, stop emailing me. We're done here. If you can't converse like
an adult I've got nothing else to say to you. Stop replying."

Jack to Topher, 8/16 6:52am:
"I have a job and it's not posting articles about wet dreams. Looks like you and your collegagues there have some sort of j@ck thomps0n fetish. get help"




Not sure what that job is, unless it's professional elementary school brat. Anyway, yeah. Don't believe everything you read about him, kids.
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Legacy Comments (will be imported soon)


Jesus, dude. That must have been beyond frustrating. What a child he is.
Sure, he's not the guy I THOUGHT he was....

But, I think this was worse. Yikes. Poor guy must be going through [ruff] times. He probably blames "people like us" for his problems. I'm trying not to be offended by that. But, I can manage.

I'm sorry that happened. I really am. Also, really awesome 'Looney' Tunes pic.
So, yeah. That happened. Amazing.
That Topher be a gopher line is absolute gold.
"all of you idiots there bore me."
Which is why he obssesively engages in dialogue with you?

Also, if you're the gopher -- then does that make him Bill Murray from Caddyshack?
wow Jack...
You are my hero. What an arrogant, unprofessional jerk.
Perhaps he can't believe your name is real because you're from "The Internet" and in his world "The Internet" is a pretend world he created in his imagination to punish him for the sins of humanity.
What's fucked up is, I honestly never bought into all the stuff people say about him. Sure, he's WRONG, and I don't agree with anything he's got to say, but I never believed he was as crazy as everybody makes him out to be. This wasn't the first time I'd talked to him, either. We've had quite a few conversations before, and he always seemed like a pretty decent guy.

Keep in mind that this is a nationally famous college-educated former attorney. I'm surprised now he didn't flick a booger at me.
Not surprising in the least, coming from an asshole like him.

Are you SURE Topher is your real name?
Topher, bravo, you carried yourself well there (also, had to love Jim's little jabs). I seriously can't believe this, but then again I suppose he was disbarred. Hilarious conversation for the outsider, thanks for posting it.
'tis a shame.

If we really wanted to mess with him we would make a post saying, "You oppose good video games, so you oppose freedom. Look what will happen to you."

Or my ninja's would kill him. But I told them no.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, sir, but it was you who wrote us out of the blue this morning with unwarranted information regarding your sex life, which you have monumentally overestimated our interest in, trust me'

That is quite a brilliant response. I dare say it's slightly naive to believe Jack is not a raving madman, not a slight against you Topher, not at all, but this guy tried to lodge a law suit against the department of Defense. Believing he would actually win on a very, very weak case. There was sense in him, but now that he is devolved into a attention whore, the term 'madman' seems more validated than ever.

Oh, and hats off to you guys, even though Jack was being very, very rude and purposefully disrespectful, you maintained civility, calmness and were professional towards him.

Phenomenal job guys, truly. :)
its weird to hear a grown man talk about how sexually active he is. drunk typing hits destructoid again.
Oh yeah. The way you conducted yourself there was to be proud of. He certainly can't use that conversation to his advantage at all.

I'm sure he'll look back and think, "What the hell? Now why did I do that???".

And maybe you'll get an apology. :)
Maybe.
I'm not interested in an apology, I just want him to leave us alone. Seriously, we haven't written about the guy in God knows how long. That's why I put this in my cblog instead of on the front page. He apparently gets entirely too much attention as it is.

On that note, do try to keep this among yourselves. I'm sick of seeing this guy's name in my inbox. I only posted it so you could see what it's really like to deal with him.
this is interesting. but Everytime I look at his stuff posted on the internet, he never looks really bright. But people always say he's a pretty decent guy in person.

Maybe he's just internet stupid or something.

it's sad you guys had to put up with his stupidity though. Kinda just shows how easy it is for people to get through college if you got the bread...as those suburban kids call it.
Ugh, that guy has some serious problems. You really handled the situation well, which I really wouldn't be able to do after reading retarded comments like those he made. In short, I love you Topher. And your name.
He's basically a troll, the whole internet community should just turn their back on him, seriously there should be some agreement between VG journalists to never communicate with this guy again, he is childish and moronic.
When they were handing out rhymes J@ck thought they said "times" so he said "I've already got a watch." BOOYAH
I thought you spelled it that way at first so it would imply.

Example:
A Hole. @ 0.

It's there, i know it.
Wow. And here I was thinking he'd realised the error of his methods.
Do you think he was just trolling?
@BS3: I hadn't actually thought of that, but if you want to take it that way I won't correct you.
I would have been laughing too hard to type. Bravo. The libel vs slander thing doesn't help his rep as an (ex)attorney either, one should know the difference.

"Topher, go be a gopher..." priceless.
Christ, and when the community's outlook on him was just improving a little. Man is a fool, no other way about it. I am just speechless over the name pun/insult, it is unbelievable.

But wait.... could it be, that J@ck is trying to give Jim a run for his money, in the title for Internets greatest troll?
In any case, this is very bizarre. Sure it was him? For real, I mean.
Technically, it's "twenty-aught-niner," as "aught" means zero and "ought" does not. I think at one point in the past ought became an acceptable derivation of aught because it was so commonly confused (see: judgment v. judgement), but it's certainly been abandoned now.

Anyway, it's almost as if JT didn't even read your emails before replying. Perhaps he has some sort of email filter that blocks all words except for his own name, GTA, porn, kids, and moron.
@Kokoo psy: Yeah, that was his email address. 100% positive it was him, we hear from him once in a while.
Well I'm glad that you guys didn't stoop to his level and maintained civil. It's sad to see a grown man actually seriously acting like this. I could understand if he was joking about that Topher line and I honestly hoped he was but after seeing him trying to use it again it just seemed like a sad old man's last attempts at humor.

When reading this I wasn't sure if I should laugh or feel depressed. Especially because the last time we wrote an article completely about him that was front paged it was Jim and a lot of us saying how well we think he acted in a crowd full of people who think he's a complete idiot. An opinion which seems to become more and more true with every passing moment.

@Shin oni

There's actually quite a few people who are easy to handle in person but then when you hand them a computer they start typing out misspelled curses and swears. Most people like that are just abusing the anonymity of the internet. I have no idea what his problem is though.
@Panda: Whoops, my bad. I will believe you, because unlike Jackie, you are a real-life lawyer.
He apparently gets entirely too much attention as it is.

^ This.
Wow so this guys randomly sends you an email about his sex life and then start bitching because he thinks you're inmature or something?

JT seriously needs to stay away from the internet.
Ok from this post onwards, disregaring any pending posts lets never mention JT again.....GO!

So hows the weather?
I just re-read it all again. It is utterly ridicules! I can;t believe he ever practiced law. Granted this is (arguably) casual e-mail form of writing, he is no bigger then a schoolyard bully.

But maybe that is what it boils down to. Someone who feels bad about himself, wants to blame everyone and anyone, without thinking, resulting in only himself being seen for worse then when he started.

He is still a terrible individual, with no credit left.
This blows my mind, how, just how did he think this was a good, or relevant idea when he got up this morning.
@Topher:: Thanks for posting this. After I saw the video of him at ScrewAttack, I felt he gets more of a bad rap than he should. He carried himself well and was respectful in the defense of his position. That is a man I wouldn't mind having breakfast with. However, the ass-clown that was messaging you can eat a dick. Once again, he has destroyed his credibility with me. Of course, it won't matter to him because I'm a "gamer".

Oh yeah, regarding "get a real name": What an asshole that guy is.

@D'toid Staff:: Don't sweat that shit -- not that I imagine you would...
@ Topher

;)
I hope he was drunk as fuck or something like that.
This makes me wonder if this is what he does now.
Go around the internet looking for stories that have him mentioned in them and then write the person childish insulting emails. Jack vs. The Internets, he won't stop till he punishes every intertube for great justice!
I think this made my day...I think...gopher...what? Ok never mind...now I'm just blank.
Even Geraldo Beedog no informe noticias sobre Senor Thompson.
You know what I used to not believe all the things I read about Jack Thompson but every reputable news program, clip, and email exchange I've seen over the past 2 years has flushed any sense of credibility towards the man.

Now I know the real Jack Thompson, a 12-year-old troll who just can't keep his mouth shut and not have "the last word." Get back under your bridge JACK
What a jackass. I'd be very happy not to hear or read about him again, as not only is he a moron who deserves no attention, he has nothing to do with gaming anymore ( whether he did in the first place is still questionable ).

Attention-seeking idiot.
10/10, will definitely read again. Recommending to friends.
This is RIDICULOUS. The frustration I felt while reading this was insane. I can only imagine the amount you all had to power through during this process...

Also... I do believe you pwned J@ck Th0mpson.
I sure hope this can't be searched up.

Upon research, he needs a therapist.
Guy needs a hobby or something...
This was fantastic.
"Topher, go be a gopher and crawl into a hole."

Holy shit
GOLD
He's could be just lonely, and finding excuses to e-mail VG blogs so he can make fun of the editors names.

"I'm Sterling up trouble"

"HA HA. I'm pestering you from my Holmes!"

"I've Bennett this for awhile."

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