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Many video games build upon the concepts and mechanics of their forerunners. Off-Brand Games examines those that draw just a little too much... inspiration.

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The PAX Misadventures of Beyamor and Qalamari
Tony Ponce | 2:49 PM on 03.31.2010 42 comments




Tony: Beyamor! Hey, Qalamari! Come with me! We'll go and see a place called PAX East!

Real-World Responsibilities: Who needs PAX East? You have to pay the rent!

Tony: But their ain't no streams of vidja games to play to hearts' content!

Real-World Responsibilities: It's childish and silly!

Tony: But filled with nerdy glee!

Beyamor: Adventure!

Qalamari: That's the life for me!

Tony: There's Pokéwalkers and swag for free!

Real-World Responsibilities: Doesn't sound very good to me!

CHORUS: The PAX misadventures of...

Beyamor/Qalamari: Beyamor and Qalamari!



Behold, the Black Folder of Wonders. What is contained within?





Ah! Very swanky! Our heroes will be riding in style along this journey!



Our heroes wait at the gate for their flight to begin boarding.



Sorry, Beyamor! Looks like Qalamari got the window seat!



Our heroes wait for their luggage to arrive. Already, they can feel the cool Boston air breezing through the automatic doors.









United at last! Our heroes gather with their compatriots for some well-deserved merry-making.



Brother Hamza cannot resist the urge to taste the sweat off our heroes' brows.



Our heroes enjoy a frosty beverage! I hope they can restrain themselves.



Guess not! Our heroes slumber in a warm embrace, the alcohol surely erasing the memories of the previous evening.



Our heroes have arrived at the entrance of the Hynes Convention Center! PAX East is just up those escalators!



And past this line, apparently.





Qalamari wanted to play Picross 3D at the Nintendo booth. Beyamor preferred WarioWare D.I.Y..



Our heroes met this valiant warrior early in their travels.



The Mega64 crew was displeased by out heroes' two-dimensional forms.





At the Behemoth booth, our heroes sampled Madness Accelerant, an updated version of a Flash game from Newgrounds.



Our heroes joined the search for Jason!? JAAAAAAAAAAAASOOOOOOOOON!!!





Our heroes take a moment to collect themselves and to enjoy the Boston cityscape.



Between acts at the Friday concert, our heroes enjoy the company of other Dtoiders in a haze of light and sound.



Jonathan Holmes expressed surprise at our heroes' presence.



Our heroes devour a pie from the P.B. Winterbottom panel. All that lemon meringue will impair your judgment!



See? Our heroes' snuggle once again, this time with their roommate Wexx.



It's a beautiful Boston morning! The crisp air clears our heroes' minds of their bedtime antics.



Oh no! Our heroes have accidentally broken Ralph Baer's Brown Box!



Make haste! Pretend you were playing Buck Rogers pinball the whole time!





The Dtoid clan cements their glorious meeting with a series of photographs.



Gus and Geoff of Rooster Teeth were more than happy to spend time with our heroes.



Our heroes score a little Bayonetta action!



Our heroes admire the Mother 3 models at the Fangamer booth.



Our heroes go old school with some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 for the NES.



Unfortunately, the helmets of The Protomen did not fit over our heroes' collective head.



The 3D glasses did nothing for our heroes.



Our heroes bask in the warm glow of row after row of condoms.



Our heroes cheer on the participants in the final round of the Omegathon.



Our heroes enjoy the company of good people at the nearby food court.



Nick Chester gently cradles our heroes in his loving embrace.



Samit also spends some quality time with our heroes.



As our heroes take the subway back to Logan International, they reminisce about the people they met and the memories they shared. If only every single day could be as rich in company and good-natured fun as this PAX East weekend. Our heroes will carry these memories for years to come.

Until we meet again, rest easy, our heroes.



Attached photos:

Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo

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39 comments | showing # 1 to 39
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Kraid's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 14:56
Kraid
Conglaturation!!

You have just finished a great blog.

And prooved the justice of our culture.

Now go rest our heroes!

also , this is amazing!
Analoge's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 14:56
Analoge
All hail the hardest working man in avatar adoption!
Los255's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 14:59
Los255
Absolutely. Amazing.
Xzyliac's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 14:59
Xzyliac
AWMIGOD THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!!!
robotbebop's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 15:00
robotbebop
This is awesome. You sir have raised the bar quite high for PAX Prime. You get a golf clap.
Cartman's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 15:33
Cartman
Mega64 :) Nice work.
Occams electric toothbrush's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 15:38
Occams electric toothbrush
A giant fist.

Pumping into the sky.

In approval.
Sean Carey's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 15:43
Sean Carey
Hells yeah. Pure avatar bliss.
Anonymouse's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 15:45
Anonymouse
INCREDIBLE :D
Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 15:47
Elsa
Awesome adventures!!
Wish I could fap 3 times for each of you! :)
Monodi's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 16:13
Monodi
hahahahah! I wish I was there with you guys!
Qalamari's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 16:46
Qalamari
Beyamor, I'm not sure how to say this... My avatar.... it... it's pregnant.
Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 16:48
Elsa
LMAO @ Qalamari... that totally has to make CaptainBus's comments of the week blog!!
robotbebop's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 17:54
robotbebop
Papa don't preach!
HiddenAHB's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 18:00
HiddenAHB
@Qalamari

It might be Wexx child
Char Aznable's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 18:13
Char Aznable
What Kraid said. Well done.

Also, not to further fuel the "gamer = nerd" stereotype, but that's a loooooooot of unpurchased condoms.
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 18:16
Y0j1mb0
LMAO. Awesome.
Jack Maverick's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 18:21
Jack Maverick
Come on, Qalamari so should have been Bubbie. They both dwell in the ocean, it only makes sense. Also...I lack words for this.
Guagloves's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 18:24
Guagloves
This is amazing.
Sentry's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 18:29
Sentry
So adorable!
Andrew Kauz's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 18:35
Andrew Kauz
Epic. EPIC.
Arttemis's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 18:54
Arttemis
Wish I could have been there in person... but now with all these pictures, it feels like I was!
Kyle MacGregor's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 18:58
Kyle MacGregor
That is fucking awesome.
JohnnyViral's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 19:03
JohnnyViral
You sir are an amazing person, not just for this but for being you. It was an honor to hang out with you this weekend.
Tony Ponce's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 19:28
Tony Ponce
Thank you all! I had so much fun doing this! I just wish I could have gotten hold of Mike and Jerry and the X-Play crew.
Chris Carter's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 19:45
Chris Carter
Love it! <3
AlLeBlanc's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 19:58
AlLeBlanc
GOOD JOB GUYS!!!!
Awesome!!!
ace of knaves's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 21:02
ace of knaves
Fucking spectacular.
Enkido's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 21:19
Enkido
There is a dangerous amount of win in this blog. I commend you sir.
nikmonroe's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 21:59
nikmonroe
Amazing!
Wexx's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 22:38
Wexx
Holy shit my hair is ridiculous in that picture.

Qalamari: I'm not paying your avatar child support. I was drugged, I swear!
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 22:51
Samit Sarkar
My photo seems like the least crazy one. Dammit.
Wexx's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 23:05
Wexx
Holy shit my hair is ridiculous in that picture.

Qalamari: I'm not paying your avatar child support. I was drugged, I swear!
Wexx's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 23:17
Wexx
YAY DOUBLE POST. Thanks Chrome, for having an conniption fit.
AlexBebop's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/31/2010 23:52
AlexBebop
Forget Bill and Ted. This was an excellent adventure!
Beyamor's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2010 00:13
Beyamor
Oh, oh god, so amazing I can't...my body is hemorrhaging everything it has in a vein attempt to make room for the euphoria filling it. I might die from this you know, but it will have been worth it.

By the by, your avatar stopped by while you were out. Yeah, we got up to some real cool stuff. On the internets even. What a weekend.


@Qalamari
I would've thought, with the tentacles and all, yours'd be the one doing the giving. Anyway, my avatar insists that you can't get pregnant doing what they did, though I wouldn't exactly trust a cloud about biology.
Tony Ponce's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2010 00:39
Tony Ponce
Omigod! I'm shrinkatized!
Funktastic's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2010 00:57
Funktastic
Great job and dedication mate! d('-'d) Twas also awesome to meet and chat you up dude! DOMO was a very big fan of BEYAMOR and QALAMARI! ^_^
FatherChesz's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2010 17:41
FatherChesz
I did an extremely shitty job in the Avatar picture. I need to post mine.
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