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10:19 AM on 05.02.2008

If you love it, change it: Smash Brothers

Iím going to take the path of least resistance, as usual, and describe something that Iím sure most people already agree on. SSBM was probably my favorite game of all time. Sure, it could have used a few tweaks to balance and allow more characters to hold up, but if you stay away from the ďproĒ community the game is fun on a lot of levels but needs 2 big fixings.

First: online play.

Donít give me that bullshit from Brawl. That is NOT online play. That is a bastardization of something with great potential. Itís like taking the hottest girl you know and having her smell like cow shit and even if you can get past that, sheís got gonorrhea so you donít really wanna touch it. Not very appealing, is it? Thatís how I feel about Brawlís attempt at online play.

That brings us to part b: remove Nintendo. Completely.

If that means removing the characters that go with them, so be it. Nintendo obviously has some great ideas but is so concerned with the simple minded that they canít get past the idea that someone might want more substance than the shell they provide to mark off a requested feature on the spec. Iím tired of them rehashing shit that they know Iíll buy because when I was 12 it was the greatest thing in the world. Iím over it! In the version of smash that I want Mario could be replaced with a similar fat plumber named Dan and I donít even care about his moveset as long as itís balanced. I donít have any allegiances to whom Iím fighting with any more, as long as I can do it in a manner that mirrors the smash experience. There was a digimon game that tried to do this, but unfortunately the people that created it forgot that there needs to be a little thing called fun in your game. Donít try again; give it to someone that knows what makes a free-for-all fighter great.

Oh, and donít make this game based around fighting with guns pleaseÖ small arms looked like fun from a distance, but it really wasnít what I wanted.

What I want now is a game on a platform that is more open (read: pc, youíll see why). Make it free and put up a paypal link so the ones that can pay for it will (and they will if itís not crap). Allow for new models, effects, maps, and items to be added over time. This could even be done by user submission that has to go through some judges panel before it makes it into the game. I bet it could even be created with some engine that already exists. I would love to work on something like this, and if I ever found someone that was I would offer my coding skillz.

So, now that Iím done dreaming Iíll recap. A smashlike fighter: good online support, no Nintendo.   read

3:15 PM on 04.22.2008

Gamingís Guilt Pleasure: (BOOOM!) Headshots

Oh my, what wood I get just thinking of headshotsÖ Seriously, a game with a well manufactured headshot mechanic is like digital sex for me. I mean, it tickles my libido in ways that few other things can. Let me try to explain this phenomenon in a timeline of notable headshot implementations.

For me this infatuation started in 1997 with Goldeneye. I hate to use that game as a reference because it is no where near my favorite FPS, but it changed what I expect when it comes to shooting someone in the face. Goldeneye was one of the first games where you could actually tell where you shot people. The aggressorís head would give this sexy jerk when you embedded a bullet in it. Even (especially?) when they were dead you could do this and the experience was just as enthralling as it was post lead consumption.

Fast forward to 2004. Iím going to skip a few years because I canít remember when headshots started to actually remove domes. Unreal had a bitchiní way of removing the head entirely and happily exclaiming ďHEADSHOTĒ so the whole house would know. It would get to the point where it sounded like I had that recording on repeat and I loved it every time. Any way, 2004: in UT2k4, with the addition of the lightning gun, when this was accomplished it would leave the body convulsing on the floor. What a great advancement! Not only was it a great solid feel when contact was made and the face flew in some direction at ludicrous speeds, but it was something you could continue to marvel at and remember while the lifeless corpse twitches and lightning moves around the body a bit.

I thought that UT2k4 would be the peak of headshotting entertainment and I was extremely satisfied with that, but I was wrong. In 2006 Gears of War was the next game to continue to excite me in ways that make parents uncomfortable. Gone was the lightning effect and in its place was the most fantastic liquification of a skull you could imagine. Accompanied by this wonderful splattering of cranium was a sound that should be forever replicated in future games that wish to be awesome. Itís like a quick and hollow whack accompanied by a short gurgle. The way the body crumples depends on what the poor headless sap was doing, but after it fell you could go over and kick it around the map like the useless sack of meat it always was!

There are other notable headshots, but as far as improvements and additions I feel that these represent the idea pretty well. This is what I look for in games now. If I canít forcibly remove a head then the satisfaction isnít quite complete. I understand that it probably wouldnít fit as well in TeamFortress2, but that doesnít mean I donít think it should be there!   read

3:16 PM on 03.28.2008

MS Lawyer says EEK EEK and flings poo

A post on Don McGownan's blog has a response to the master chief on PS3 that Nick Chester mentioned earlier this week.

"This will also remind people of just how great the Halo games are and remind them that if they're done with the user-created faux-Halo experience, the real Halo is available only on the Xbox 360. And no one is taking characters from PlayStation games (do they even have any games?) and putting them on our platform..."

Fantastic response. Sounds like some vitriol one ill-informed fanboy would spew to the next. Regardless I found it entertaining and felt like sharing. I guess that clears up any possible concerns for MS unleashing the hounds on this user content... Now if we can only convince all other companies to stop thwarting remakes of old games (Chrono trigger should not have been stopped!).

ps. why the hell don't we get to use the "quote" tag? did I do it wrong?   read

10:43 AM on 03.27.2008

F G4TV, This is what I want (rant...)

One thing I never understood about G4TV is the lack of gaming coverage. I guess Gameboi's post explains that, but I feel that there are plenty of serious gaming venues that they did not pursue. I know they never covered any pro gaming tournaments and I, for one, would have found that incredibly entertaining. To see some of the CPL, or GGL top face offs or even get into some of the matches at Quakecon or PAX. I mean, that's an area of gaming that, for lack of a better word, can be further exploited. There are people making a living doing the things all of us here at dtoid love to do and I'd like to see how these people act and play under pressure. I know there are communities that support these like, but they don't feel friendly toward casual gamers. G4 (or something like it) could bridge the gap and bring hardcore gaming (in this context: pro gaming) to the casual (in context: not-pro) gamers.

Korea has this for starcraft. I went there numerous times for business trips and there are 2 (FUCKING 2!!) TV stations that cover starcraft matches along with some other stupid asian games thrown in the mix. G4 could be a spring board for this in the US and it's not given any attention. Instead we have a bunch of shmucks going to E3 and GDC ignorantly talking about shit while flaunting tits and ass and that's the sale. I'm glad I can get the all the info they have and tons more from dtoid by means of humor and intelligent commentary. I'd be interested in seeing the ratings of a network run by the dtoid staff.

Get some real gamers that are actually GOOD at fucking games on these shows and have them talk about it. Have them do play-by-plays of matches. Have them talk about tactics, tricks, stats, etc... Have them be fucking hardcore. That's what I want and it's what I'd pay to see. Pro gaming is something I thought about persuing when I was in college and now that I'm too old I'd still like to see others that can and did do it. I don't care for the argument that it would only be appreciated by the people that care about xxx game. Bullshit! As much as I despise counter strike I would still watch a match with people that know the game in and out. As much as I am absolutely terrible at Soul Caliber I'd love to see the lightning fast reflexes that these professionals have. The same things can be said about other pro games. The games are played so much differently on a pro level that people might not even realize what kind of things are possible... SSBM comes to mind (for better or for worse)...

Fuck G4 and their MTV wannabe bullshit. We don't need another MTV ruining a media. In my opinion they should try to be more like a combination of ESPN and CNN for games. Attack of the show still has it's place with this combo, but it's time to realize that the majority of the people involved there don't know dick about games and they sure as hell can't play them. It's so frustrating to watch these faux gamers traipse around on tv trying to convince me they know what they're talking about.   read

9:17 AM on 03.13.2008

MS: so what's the real deal?

So we start off with HD-DVD vs Blu-ray. FIGHT! Fatality, Blu-ray wins. HD-DVD goes the way of the dodo, toshiba and many other involved lose money. All hail blu-ray. 360 owners create rumors that MS will pick up blu-ray on the 360. More news that MS is working with Sony on blu-ray possibilities. Seems like we're all having fun right?

Wait a few days...

MS says "f you blu-ray, we have digital distribution". Whoa... sooo, what's the deal? 360 is losing in sales for Jan and Feb, it never got any footing in Japan, and now they're staying out of hd video players. What do I think? Meh, it still plays games right? It was fun to watch all the hoopla about it, but can we all just stfuapg?   read

8:16 AM on 12.13.2007

GH3 Halo

I don't know why this hasn't been mentioned any where, but everyone that has GH3 on the 360 needs to go check out the new downloadable content. Exploring this will turn up a free download of the halo theme. Excellent guitar track that had me rockin out last night. Don't forget the part about it being free.   read

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