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12:21 AM on 06.10.2008  

Web 3.0: A list in progress

Note: I originally posted this a few days ago, but the c blogs hate me and it disappeared from all public sight. Being the attention whore that us bloggers tend to be, I'm reposting it to give it its deserved attention. Or, whatever.

(Here is the proposal I discussed on this week's podcast. A little fodder to spark the creativity for all those awesome Sonnets you will write for us next week!)

Turns out that my promotion at my day job from 'Associate Assistant to the Blogosphere' to 'Associate Managing Assistant to the Blogosphere' actually involves a considerably larger load of responsibility. Who woulda thunk.

While I spend half of my work between meetings and product documents, the other half I'm knee-deep in the trenches of Web 2.0, my shins constantly maimed by rounded CSS corners, Helvetica , and unnecessary social networking systems. Michael Arrington and Scoble tend to be a relatively dutiful sherpas across the vast frontier of the web business, but even so my mind has gradually become jaded to the newest video conduits, or the next Twitter. In other words, Web 2.0 has become awfully tiresome to me.

Which is why today I managed to surface some remnants of Internet elation by pinning my girlish hopes for the web on what's to expect next; the big ol' Web 3.0. Many have their theories of what 3.0 will entail (something or other about the Semantic Web, or like, whatever), I personally think that Web 3.0 needs to take the soft, simple, and meek interfaces of 2.0, forcefully apply it to a sharpened cheese grater, soak the shreds in liquid explosive, and then feed it to its pet LOLcats.

The following is a proposed list of requirements for what Web 3.0 should be. Please feel free to contribute to what is listed, this is a work in progress:

WEB 3.0 WILL...



... REUNITE YOU WITH THE MYSTERY OF THE INTERNET
Built-in smoke machines in laptop computers that activate upon discovery of certain sites. It is likely that these sites will be mysterious and/or curious.



... JOYOUSLY COMMEMORATE YOUR GROWING SOCIAL NETWORK
Celebratory animated text that appears when commiting simple Web 2.0 tasks. For example, when you add a friend on Facebook a prominently robust, 3-D modeled announcement reading !!! CONNECTION !!! should swoop across the screen. Booming voice also announces the celebration of this !!! CONNECTION !!!, and the announcement dissapears in a trail of lasers.



... TITILLATE YOU WITH MEDIOCRE TYPOGRAPHY
The highs and lows of typography will be entirely removed. That means Comic Sans AND Helvetica are banished. Only mediocre texts are allowed such as Impact, Stagecoach, Papyrus, and Courier.



... HAVE HOLOGRAPHIC DINOSAURS
Holographic Dinosaur High-Fives (Holo-Dino-Fives) will immerge from your computer screen when your personal blog gets more than 100 unique visitors.

[embed]89011:11968[/embed]
Be a HERO

... WILL ENCHANT YOU WITH SYMPHONIC BEAMZ
Soundtrack for Web 3.0 and all digital music will be composed, played, and orchestrated by advanced BEAMZ technology. BEAMZ will also be embedded into your keyboard, so that you will play beautiful music like magic when you type.

Meanwhile, as suggested by Bazel, the soundtrack for 2.5 will be provided by kittens.   read


8:51 PM on 04.30.2008  

Ask me about LOOM™

Growing up during the golden age of adventures games has greatly impacted my personal tastes in videogames. Lord knows if you point out a three-headed monkey behind me or drop 12-octaves and begin chanting NUR-AB-SAL there will be an everlasting bond between us that withstands all varieties of flux capacitors.



The same applies to certain Reverends named Anthony who bestowed upon me a novelty replica of the Ask Me About LOOM™ pin from the saloon scene in The Secret of Monkey Island. Last Saturday I wore this out to a bar, and five people asked me about LOOM™. Success!

So yeah. You're a real dick sometimes, Anthony, but it would take at least 1.21 jigawatts to deter me from yielding at least a baker's dozen of less-than-threes in exchange for this pin. LESS THAN THREEEEEEEEEE (x 13)! Also:


Originally from LOOM™, when Chaos tries to persuade Bobbin to give him access to, well, the Loom.*Chuckle*

P.S. Re-live the ultimate Scumm wet-dream in this screen-shot saturated archive of game art from the classic LucasArts games!   read


1:15 AM on 04.28.2008  

Colin's Bear Animation

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Maybe you have seen this, maybe you have not seen this. But if you haven't seen Colin's Bear Animation, you really should, because it will be unlike anything else you've ever experienced before.

Colin's Bear will be popping up again and again in the future. Mark my words.   read


1:08 PM on 04.22.2008  

Destructoid in NYC: Kenka, Sake, and Karaoke


This is ARRRRRRM TEAAAAAAM

Last Saturday night Toph, Phist, Powerglove, Galagabug, Samit, Nick Chester & Grrlaction, Cowzilla3, Analog Pidgin (with Nullsleep and Bit Shifter in tow), and myself found ourselves conveniently sauced and filled with song in the East Villiage. After a hearty meal of Japanese foodlings and sake, we made our way over to Karaoke, and rocked on until four in the mornin'.

As always, it was fucking fantastic to see you all. It always overwhelms me how this community manages to thrive swimmingly whenever I meet more of you in person. As Cowzilla remarked: "..look at Topher and Samit...kind of opposite ends of the spectrum there and yet karaoke partners made in heaven" I'm in particular awe of all those who dragged themselves to Comic-Con the next morning. This little puppy stayed in bed until 3 in the afternoon. Everyone +1, .tiff 0.

Now this is the part where I show off the pictures that made you wish you were there, because, well, you should have been.


Teh Toph & Teh Pidgin


Teh Toph & Teh .tiff

[
Samit & Cowzilla3 (+4 = 7) love the sweet sweet taste of candied cotton


Cowzilla3 rocks the mic


Teh Toph & Samit!   read


3:54 AM on 04.15.2008  

Tako King Mask Party Time

Amidst the wrapping up of a dinner party, Charlie, Apple, Ross, and Husky showed up at my house. My friends and I were heading out for a bar, but my roommate had a bit of work to do so we had some dead time. So, naturally, I busted out the Tako King mask (soon to be a Tako King plush for my number one horndog CTZ).

And thus ensued many a hilarious photograph of the Tako Kids that night:



Tako Charlie



Tako Apple



Tako .tiff



Tako Husky



Tako Ben   read


4:47 AM on 04.13.2008  

PillowFort™ 2008



The year has finally gotten a kick start with the very first official Pillow Fort. It seemed that the powers of Stickam were at their lowest nearly a few months ago, but with the help of a few new members, Droobies DJ hour (+ Bandana and Aviators), and maintaining a metal as fuck mentality, the stickam dream stays alive.

HAVE A GREAT JOB!!!

Aw, the Memories.   read


12:48 PM on 04.10.2008  

Stay Puft: Ghostbusters party at Bourbon and Branch



The gaming companies are hitting up the streets left and right in San Francisco this week. With M16 bringing in the first flux of the gaming types, Tuesday kicked off my first gaming event with a sit-in preview of Fallout 3. Amidst the preview I had the pleasure of partaking in some The Wire humor with the very personable N'Gai Croal. I thought it was pretty great.



Last night Sierra Entertainment threw an elaborate Ghostbusters party at the highly esteemed speakeasy Bourbon and Branch. Instead of the bar's typical candlelit atmosphere, the interior was splashed with red light in the main room and green light in the secret library room. With a buffet of ingredients for smores to the right and delectably mixed drinks to the left (Such as the Stay Puft drink with vannilla vodka, chocolate liquor, and marshmallow cream with a graham cracker rim), CTZ, Dyson and I got a wee bit sauced. It was, very fun.



Duty eventually called and I fled the scene, sobered up with a quesadila, and wrote that Fallout 3 preview until 5 in the morning. This leaves me in a present state of delirium having only gotten 4 hours of sleep, but all will be well later when I grab a forty and head to Dolores Park for a sleepy outside viewing of Fast Times at Ridgemont High. In the meantime, enjoy the pictchas!

  read


4:03 AM on 04.04.2008  

A Love Note to ScummVM



Dear ScummVM,

It took a few Belgian beers and some local taqueria quesadillas before I heard from you tonight. I came home, sat down to promenade the Internet with the typical expectations of a post-buzzed Thursday night. A few Flickr comments, a new Vox neighbor, a MySpace message or two from the typical spam bot. The usual, as it were.

But then .harr let me know that you had changed for the better. That you were making great strides in the wakes of Adventure Game abadonware. You had finally welcomed the likes of one Zanthia, the sexy medieval alchemist who conquered evil in style and in turn you are now in full support of Legend of Kyrandia: Hand of fate.

You've come a long way, baby. I have a good feeling that this is forever.

Love,

.tiff

p.s. Not to be greedy, but if you're truly adventurous you should go ahead and add Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Father and Rex Nebular and the Cosmic Gender Bender to your guest list. They're bona fide gentlemen, and I promise you won't be disappointed.

/geekout   read


7:23 PM on 03.23.2008  

Prof. Layton proves .tiff and .harr are stupid

[Ripped from my Vox blog]



My twin brother 2 years removed, Harrison (or .harr to some, hehe) is visiting from college for the Zombie-Jesus weekend. Sitting side by side, him with my sister's DS lite and me with my PSP, we began to discuss the variety of hand held games we've been playing over the past few months. Back in the good ol' days, Harrison and I would spend many brain power hours in tandem getting through various puzzle and adventure games on the PC such as The Secret Island of Dr. Quandary, The Castle of Doctor Brain, and Legend of Kyrandia: Hand of Fate. Naturally, our experiences with Professor Layton and the Curious Village surfaced between our discussions.

Harrison mentioned that he had a chance to try a few puzzles at GameStop, remarking that he had a little bit of trouble on a couple of them. I immediately related as I too had run into a bit of a jam on what seemed to be some of the most simple puzzles. Our subconcious sibling connection was revealed when we both brought up issues with the 10 picarats Strange Hats puzzle. Pathetic, I know.

I present to you the exact Strange Hats puzzle below. If there's one thing I hate, it's being told that I'm stupid by a simple mind puzzle on my DS. If there's another thing I hate, it's finding out my super smart electrical engineering brother had the same problem. Here's your chance to further convince me of my own stupidity by trying to solve the puzzle yourself!

If you've played the game already you probably already know the answer, but if you haven't have a go... and don't cheat!



  read


2:36 PM on 03.07.2008  

Beyond the Game

[embed]74261:8921[/embed]

When The Final Countdown or Glory of Love aren't enough to keep your gamer spirits up in times of dismay, the World Cyber Games Theme song aptly reminds how gaming goes beyond the game. I'd like to dedicate this song to all the members here that I've met before, through the magic of a moment in cyberspace.

Dont' forget to follow the bouncing ball! Sing along with pride and fervor with these handy lyrics I've typed out for you!

OOOOH Yeeeaaaahhhhhh!

You and I, we have met before
Through the magic of a moment in cyberspace
Driven by a passion to win
Playing heart to heart, and face to face
The challenge of a lifetime
Stands before us now

CHORUS

BEYOND THE GAME
In the shadow of the golden gates (Ooooh Yeah!)
We have come to decide our fate
We're here to celebrate
BEYOND THE GAME

BEYOND THE GAME
At last, the moments at hand
All we need is to believe we can
We'll make that stand
BEYOND THE GAME

BEYOND THE GAME (BEYOND THE GAME)
BEYOND THE GAME (BEYOND THE GAME)
The World Cyber Games!

The spirit is right
We're connecting now in a powerful way
We celebrate our diversity
Around the world with a passion to play
The planet will be watching
The message will be heard
CHORUS
CHORUS

[Thanks Chico for the Tip]   read


8:29 PM on 02.25.2008  

GDC + Wondercon + <3



Last week was convention week for downtown San Francisco with a double delight of both GDC and Wondercon beckoning teams of gamers, nerds, and geeks to visit the bay for the week. Living and working only few minutes away from the Moscone center, I was privy to attending both conferences as a social floater of sorts, watching the flux of conference passerby's on the street as they moved to and from their sessions and housing the occasional Dtoid member in my abode if necessary. While I didn't get to attend GDC itself I had the privilege of attending a handful of the aftermath parties and hanging out with some of my best friends from the interwebs.

Check out my gallery photos on my Flickr account, but in the meantime here's a quick list of highlights of the week:



• Putting up Nick, Chad, Dale, Rich (from Pixeljam), Anthony, Charlie, Ceark, and Dexter in my San Francisco home (Chad even managed to absorb the dining room with his 26 different outfits, thereby designating the space as the Chad Room)

• Meeting the rest of the Mega 64 team (Derrick, Shawn, and Garret) and acting as a passive participant in their upcoming GDC video podcast

• Obtaining two drawn and signed Sam & Max sketches from Steve Purcell, followed by exponential degrees of fangirlish ooh's and ah's

• Unofficially declared married to Dan Paladin in the Hilton hotel by a drunk lobby-goer. While Dan and I are not married, we are certainly Top Friends with marriage.

• Meeting the rest of The Behemoth team (Emil, John, Billy) and contributing a variety of collaborative artwork to the booth table with Dan

• Becoming the delighted victim of Chad and a great range of dirty things he said to me, including: "I'm gonna put a baby in you"

• Flexing my reflexes, wrestling, singing and snorgling at the NARP. This community is the best around. Don't ever let anything bring it down.

Thanks everyone for coming to my city to visit! I miss you all already, and I can't wait until the next convention! LESS THAN THREES PLZ!   read


2:11 PM on 02.19.2008  

TellTale Adventures with Steve Purcell

GDC kicked off to a tasty start for the Destructoid team at TellTale Games' party held at Cellar. Naturally we couldn't say no to the prospect of zombie makeup, karaoke, and free drinks, but little did I know that the party's most exciting attraction (for me, anyway) was the presence of the one and only Steve Purcell. In the flesh! And also sporting a rather adventurous leather hat.

For those of you not familiar with the man and his work, Purcell is known for his artistic contributions on many of the classic LucasArts adventure games. More significantly however, he is recognized as the brain machine behind the lovingly twisted partners in crime Sam an Max. It would be an understatement to say I was somewhat starry eyed and whiskey soured upon my approach to Mr. Purcell, in utter awe of the fact that I was about to meet one of the artists that truly set the ground rules for my sense of humor and my love for adventure games while growing up.

Chad and I both approached him at first asking for photos, an idea that was suddenly overshadowed by another fan's request for a drawing. Notebook-less I called the attention of Joey the bartender for a cocktail napkin and asked the same of Mr. Purcell, only to sign it for .tiff (of course).

And then there was Max! Exclaiming quite enthusiastically that .tiff is "Not a real name!". The sight of it set my fan girl flame on full blaze, and I beamed happily clinging to the napkin as I parted ways.



That was, until I thought I had lost it. The bar was rather dark and the copious amounts of drank had somehow shadowed the sight of the drawing hidden in the folds of my purse. I went from ecstatic to distressed in 60 flat, but Mr. Purcell noticed so offered to do another drawing, a Second Coming of Max, if you will. Brilliant as Purcell always is, the second drawing cleverly references the first and includes a bonus floating Sam head. Win! and Win!



Of course after gushing all of my fan girl pheromones all over Mr. Purcell, singing Material Girl with Leigh Alexander, and somehow making it home by the end of the night, I found the other drawing after all. You can better believe that I'll be framing these babies and keeping them forever!   read







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