People keep telling me I need paragraph breaks in my posts. Well, you'll see your paragraph breaks in this post! Geez, why does everyone always have to be such a whore? No, you didn't read the title of this post incorrectly. I'll get to that in a second.

Look, here's your motherfucking paragraph break! Anyway, I put a lot of exclamation points in this post. Uh, anyway, this is a list of things I wish existed in the video game world. I guess the title kind of said it all, but the important thing is the list itself! Lists, everybody lists things.

#5-A Metal Gear Solid Game Starring Johnny Sasaki!

In case you haven't noticed, my profile picture is an image of Johnny Sasaki, the trypanophobic comic relief character who has irritable bowel syndrome. Now don't be a little cockfuck in the comments section, because I know this would never happen even in my wildest dreams. But think about it. We would probably get a Meryl sex scene. And it would contain a lot of toilet humor. That would be awesome. More realistically, however, we could get an MGS game where Johnny plays an important role.

#4-A Nintendo-Microsoft hybrid console!

This one could actually happen maybe sort of not really. But think about it. A Halo project with Shigeru Miyamoto on board. Holy shit!

#3-Super Mario Sunshine 2!

I don't give a horse's ballbag about what you have to say about the first game. It was awesome and I loved it. Except this time, we get to control FLUDD with motion control! The graphics would be even brighter and more colorful, and all of the major problems of the first game would be fixed! If it was announced I would pee myself with joy.

#2-2K Fanboys!

If 2K fanboys existed, it would be adorable. They would claim that Bioshock is the best first-person shooter ever. They would say that EA sports sucks and 2K sports kicks its ass. Ahhh, it would add new fanboys to one of the most annoying internet wars.

#1-A Hayao Miyazaki Video Game!

The creator of classics such as Spirited Away and Kiki's Delivery Service writing a story for a video game. It would be beyond epic. Hayao Miyazaki is one of the greatest filmmakers of all time, and is also my favorite. I would love that game so much.

Well, I'm done with my list. Feel free to bitch about it in the comments section.