People keep telling me I need paragraph breaks in my posts. Well, you'll see your paragraph breaks in this post! Geez, why does everyone always have to be such a whore? No, you didn't read the title of this post incorrectly. I'll get to that in a second.

Look, here's your motherfucking paragraph break! Anyway, I put a lot of exclamation points in this post. Uh, anyway, this is a list of things I wish existed in the video game world. I guess the title kind of said it all, but the important thing is the list itself! Lists, everybody lists things.

#5-A Metal Gear Solid Game Starring Johnny Sasaki!

In case you haven't noticed, my profile picture is an image of Johnny Sasaki, the trypanophobic comic relief character who has irritable bowel syndrome. Now don't be a little cockfuck in the comments section, because I know this would never happen even in my wildest dreams. But think about it. We would probably get a Meryl sex scene. And it would contain a lot of toilet humor. That would be awesome. More realistically, however, we could get an MGS game where Johnny plays an important role.

#4-A Nintendo-Microsoft hybrid console!

This one could actually happen maybe sort of not really. But think about it. A Halo project with Shigeru Miyamoto on board. Holy shit!

#3-Super Mario Sunshine 2!

I don't give a horse's ballbag about what you have to say about the first game. It was awesome and I loved it. Except this time, we get to control FLUDD with motion control! The graphics would be even brighter and more colorful, and all of the major problems of the first game would be fixed! If it was announced I would pee myself with joy.

#2-2K Fanboys!

If 2K fanboys existed, it would be adorable. They would claim that Bioshock is the best first-person shooter ever. They would say that EA sports sucks and 2K sports kicks its ass. Ahhh, it would add new fanboys to one of the most annoying internet wars.

#1-A Hayao Miyazaki Video Game!

The creator of classics such as Spirited Away and Kiki's Delivery Service writing a story for a video game. It would be beyond epic. Hayao Miyazaki is one of the greatest filmmakers of all time, and is also my favorite. I would love that game so much.

Well, I'm done with my list. Feel free to bitch about it in the comments section.

Let me guess, your looking forward to your Mass Effects and your Halos and your Modern Warfares like the little whores you are. Well, I'm looking forward to those games, too. But, Shigeru Miyamoto's latest project is the one that excites me the most. But in this post I'm not going to go on and on and on about how cool this game looks (holy shit, penguin suits!). I'm going to actually talk about something. Shigeru Miyamoto games don't receive enough hype anymore. I mean, when they come out, they get good reviews and everybody likes them and all that butt-fudge. But, journalists will be all like "Holy shit! Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2! Let's have our 8439058340598th preview of it today." Eventually, you get sick of hearing about and you just want the damn game to be released so the journalists will review it and proceed to finally shutting the fuck up about it (hopefully). But I've barely found any previews of New Super Mario Bros. Wii or The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks. Instead I'm being drowned by "Left 4 Dead 2 impressions" and "Halo 3: ODST multiplayer tips" and all that other crap. So if your looking forward to any of Shigeru Miyamoto's new games, you get a bonus point. Also, please don't be a fucktard and take this article the wrong way. I'm excited about Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and all that other stuff. I was just complaining about the way journalists hype it up.

When reading G4TV's review of Uncharted 2: Among Thieves (they gave it 5/5 stars) I stumbled across a comment that read basically this: "Claims of a PS3 bias are completely BS and I literally worship my PS3 and sleep with it in my bed and occasionally lodge my penis into the disk slot." Okay, maybe I made a little bit of that up, but the point is, he didn't really need to talk about that. He made it quite clear he was a Sony fanboy. Now, though I own a PS3, Nintendo is my favorite company. In fact BussinessWeek declared them the best company of all time. I'm not kidding. See what I just did? I was annoyingly fanboyish to Nintendo. The thing is, we should just appreciate a good game! It doesn't matter who it's made by, it just matters if the games good or not. I love Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare and I also love Super Mario Galaxy! Do you love those games? Or just one? Why? Think about it.