I'm TheManchild, though I go by many names. Two, actually. Although it's only really one, because TheManchild is not a real name. So um, well, sorry for wasting your time.
I guess I kind of like video games. It's the only thing I'm really interested in apart from occasionally farting. I believe that might is right, that survival of the fittest is our only calling. I guess that makes me something of a paradox since I'm located somewhere between pond scum and bong water in the proverbial food chain.
My favorite games are the ones that make me feel superior to you for having played them. Games like Larry's Quantum Physics Adventure, which I just made up now. But if you question me on the subject matter and probe my understanding of it, I won't respond. I'm just kind of a dick that way.
Here is a non-exhaustive list of some of my favorite things to waste time on.
You know, in between farts.
Ecco the Dolphin
Dem Sega Mickey Mouse Games
Sonic the Hedgehog
Super Meat Boy
Star Control 2
Galactic Civilizations 2
Alien Motherfucking Soldier
Jim Sterling embodies everything that is evil about the industry of video game journalism. He is the antithesis to video game journalists.
Honestly, how dare he actually be objective in his reviews, even if it means recognizing the positive qualities of one of the most mainstream (and therefore, obviously totally awful) franchises in video game history? If a game wasn't developed by a basement dwelling man with lip piercings who wears wool scarves in the summer time, it clearly can't be anything more than a useless piece of played out fast-food Hollywood Michael Bay garbage. If everyone likes something, it is clearly flawed.
But seriously, the controversy surrounding Jim giving MW3 a positive review is astoundingly boring. Everyone is great at criticizing critics, but almost none of these social lepers have the talent or the ingenuity to themselves become better reviewers; and especially not enough to become a reviewer with the popularity or in this case, infamy of Jim Sterling.
I once thought I wanted to be a video game critic, or a journalist, or something. But if gaming all my life has taught me one thing, it is this:
Although there are some very cool gamers out there who have insightful and interesting stories and opinions relating to their hobby, the majority of them are a bunch of ignorant, over-opinionated windbags with no tact or social skills to speak of who spend their days whining about worthless junk - instead of actual spending their time playing games.
The response to Jim's review proves this in spades. Everyone wanted a shitstorm; they wanted him to rip apart the juggernaut of the industry, not because it is a particularly poorly made game, but because they hate its popularity. I'll admit to having no interest in any new CoD game, but the fact is, I'd rather play Call of Duty than Wii Music, Onechanbara, or one of the many millions of shovelware bullshit titles that get pumped out into a saturated market on a regular basis. What people are willing to call "a bad game" has become absolutely obscene, and even though I don't really like the Modern Warfare games, I can be at least objective enough to recognize that if anything, they are well produced.
Jim recognizes that too apparently, and despite his reputation as being edgy, and kicking the pegs from beneath poorly made games that are raved about for other reasons, he is not actually required to hate a game JUST because all known knowledge about Jim would dictate that he MUST.
The people getting angry about a review are people I hope never, ever, ever, ever get legitimate jobs as journalists themselves. Because it is exactly that kind of asshole who WOULD crush the life out of a decent game just to build up his own Jim Sterling-like reputation, whether it was warranted or not.
Everytime I hear someone argue about how Xbox is so much better than this, how X game is so much better than that "awful Call of Duty", I can only come to one reasonable conclusion; that person is an asshole with way too much time on their hands. For the few hours I get in a week to play video games, I get very little other time outside of that to drone endlessly about my favorite games, and why they are so much better than yours. And what do you know, I even write reviews myself for a game website.
But that's just my point; I'm busy with those things. I play games and am expected to review them in a reasonable time frame. In between that, I basically play my DS on the toilet. The rest of the time, I have other things occupying my life, like a family, responsibilities.
You know what? I know what the problem is; I am jealous of you bastards. I am writing this while my daughter is asleep, and right before I have to do laundry, dishes, and put the finishing touches on an article. I would love to be able to sit here all day and be able to have enough free time that I could actually burn it away by bitching about Jim's review. I could argue with other people about how their perspective is wrong. I could spend all day in a forum or chat backing up my opinion.
Yeah, that's why I'm venting right now. That kind of life sounds like an absolute dream, being able to sit there and judge other folks all day long rather than trying to actually accomplish anything myself. You people are such lucky jerks, I hope you are enjoying it.
I only got to do it for about five minutes today, and that was just long enough to write this blog.