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HIRE ME GAME INDUSTRY. HIRE ME YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.

I am an aging man with starving children. I write blogs about video games. My favorite system is the Game Boy. I have three of them in my house; one in the shitter, one by my computer, and one in my pocket.

My aspiration in life is to not die. Runner up is writing and creating random bullshit related to my only hobby, which is games. I guess I read books too. But nobody cares about OLD MAN hobbies like that, so get outta town, GRANDPA!

My favorite game is Ecco the Dolphin. I like to speedrun it because it makes me feel like a big man, except when the credits run, which is where I usually reflect sadly upon the rest of my life. I love dick jokes and farts. Dickfarts.

I want to write for Destructoid some day, but the staff here are too smart to hire me. I need to find a clever way to trick a legitimate enthusiast site to pay me a small amount of money to do something for them or I can never happy.

But even then, I probably still won't be happy.

Such is life.

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TheManchild
10:29 AM on 08.16.2013

(EDIT: The Metro article that was circulating Twitter, a few users have pointed out, was just a segment of the article by Polygon, which is far more detailed and varied in its opinion; it covers not only the hot topic of Jennifer Helper, but a slew of other developers, and the problem of abuse in the industry on the whole. I wrote this before reading it, or knowing it existed, but my original point still stands in the context of the Polygon piece.

I would recommend reading it first rather than the Metro article to get a better idea of the reality of net abuse that happens in the industry, and in the community on the whole.

It's actually even more revolting than just one person being singled out, but that makes it all the more important to begin with as a reference point if you are angry at all about the kind of hateful vitriol spit at game devs on a daily basis.)

Just a real quick thing here. No big deal.

Very quickly wanted to touch on the recent news that Bioware writer Jennifer Helper has now decided to quit her job due to continued threats of abuse, and specific death threats against family members, namely her children.

Death threats. Against fucking children.

That aside, people in the comments section of the original article were quick to point out that "well, while that sucks and all, it is the internet. And hey, at least Dragon Quest 4 and Mars Affect 9 might actually be good now!"

Almost MORE than the actual existence of threats, which are nothing new to the internet at this point, I find it really disgusting that anyone can sit their and think that, in good conscience. "Well this persons life has been threatened and her career destroyed, but at least I'll get my stupid fucking video game!"

For anyone reading this who thinks that way:

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you.

When your stupid little funtime hobby holds more value than another persons livelihood, you are a shitbag of the highest degree with all kinds of serious problems that should be properly addressed, preferably by electroshock therapy or a lobotomy. When a fictional game where 3D models run around hitting things and have HILARIOUSLY saccharine sex scenes with one another has you so invested that you are willing to celebrate the internets "victory" over a woman which came as a result of assaulting her with physical violence or death, you need to get a serious reality check.

Games are meant to be fun. The people who work in the industry work very hard to create these products. Sometimes they fail, and sometimes the people buying them are affected by this. That is the unfortunate reality of being a consumer; you take a risk when you shell out money for something, and hope it will be good. Sometimes it doesn't live up to your expectations.

But if you have decided that a persons life is worth less than the 60 dollars you had to shell out, you need to get a second job. You need to get away from your Playstation for an evening, and go out into the real world. If it pisses you off so badly that your immersive fantasy world didn't fully live up to your expectations in dragging you in from your miserable life, maybe you need to start improving that life by getting away from the games altogether?

Because, let's face it; gaming doesn't need you. It doesn't need embittered, angry trolls scaring away hardworking people of actual value to it, who contribute nothing except their money and a smug sense of entitlement. It doesn't need you judging them every step of the way when you are unable to contribute anything even remotely similar in quality. If anyone thought your ideas were worth a damn, they'd have hired YOU. Bioware hired Jennifer Helper, because she had credentials as a writer. They put her confidence in her. Obviously she offered something to the series, and they trusted her.

Did she succeed?

Totally irrelevant, actually. Sorry. No amount of failure on her part could ever justify the kind of insane behavior some people have exhibited that caused her to leave her job.

So while some people will sit there, shrug their shoulders, and say "Oh well. At least Dragon Age 3 might be better now." all I have to say to them is; they are part of the problem.

Plain and simple.

Yuck.



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