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Artist and Dollmaker
I have 4 cats
Enough said
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Ok this may not be the most original thread but i was thinking last night all the unrealistic things
i saw happening on FPS games.

This is a list of things in FPSs that make no sense compared to the real world.Now please
dont go around emaling me about that ONE game that doesnt include any of this.
THis simply represents most of the FPSs.

1.Cars Explode when shot:In most Fps games a car is the equilivent of a explosive box.
Shotting it will result in it exploding.Even when you are shooting it on the windows or the roof it will go
Boom like its made of TNT.

In reality that doesnt work.Shooting a car will NEVER make it explode.Even when you are shooting
at the gassoline it will still no trigger an explosion.But who cares ITS AWESOME.

2.Health reganaration:You mostly saw that coming didnt yah.I mean its pretty obvious that
going around getting shot 50 million times and taking about 100 Rpg shots throughtout the entire game
would certainly leave a scar???.Not with health Regenaration.

Since its presence in the original Halo every goddam FPS game after that had to have health regenaration.
ITs pretty obvious why its unrealistic.

3.Health kits:Although they make more sense than Health renenaration it stills doenst make any sense.Just picking up a Med kit and SOMEHOW you manage to remove bullets and threat the wound by using apparently 2 bangages and a health drink you found on a med kit.
Still it makes more sense than Health regenaration.

4.Holding only 2 guns:Again something that Halo propularased.Makes no sense because i can
think 5-10 perfectly fine places where i can store pistols/shotguns/machineguns on by suit.

5.Reloading:OH MAN realoding.The problem here is that in most FPSs the problem is no the reloading it self but how it works.If you shoot ONE round and reload a magasine that will not discard all of the other bullets on the magazine you just throwed away.No it will simply make the Bullet Intecator go 1-.
Makes not sense.

6.Guns never jam/break/overheat:Pretty obvious.I mean using the same 5-7 guns in a 6 hour game,bumping thousends of bullets in my enemies...and yet the gun NEVER jams.

7.Character hands are useless when jumbing:Althrough this doesnt applly to most FPSs.Heres the deal.Remember in the old Platformers when you didnt time your jumb correctly and you went up falling in the bottomless pit because your hero couldnt grab the edge of the platform...
You think that by now they would have fixxed that BUT NO.Its still around and its just as stupid as it was how many years ago.
To put in another way.In half life i once didnt time my jumb correctly and because my hero's foot didnt land on the edge i falled down to a pit.If only he could have used he's hands to grab on the edge and
climb back up.If only.

8.Silencer COMPLETLY silences a gun:Unlike videogames in the real life Suppressors (yes they are called suppressors in real life no siliencers) dont ussually ''Silince'' a gun.Thats why they are called suppresors and not Silencers.

Regarding video games ussually a silencer will COMPLETLY Silence a gun and make it imposible for the NPCs to hear it.And it always does the same sound effect.
Also it seems that supressors in Video games are just a black Cylinder thing that can be mounted in
almost everygun (Even shotguns and Magnums.)

simply prevents the gas that comes out of the gun to create a huge noise,therefor making a little less
loud.But its nearly imposible to completly silence the gun.Hell even most pistols are not that silent
with a supressor.

Oh yeah and on a side not the Silencer will never get broken or useless due to multiple use.
(Unless we are talking about Metal Gear Solid which actually made the Suppressors useless after repeated use)

9.Games look realistic Dont play realistic:This is a pretty simple .When was the last time that you
came across a small wooden door and even through you had like 2 shotguns and a rocket launcher
the door wouldnt simply break.When was the last time you saw that some Chest high wall that
you use for cover are nearly imposible to completly destroy.Or anything else that just didnt make any sense.

10.The hero NEVER takes a shit:Or everyone else for that matter.

11.The hero NEVER speaks during the game:SOME GAMES and i quote SOME GAMES do this.
Dont write in the comments the games that do IM JUST TALKING ABOUT SOME GAMES.

As a male gamer i usually don't think about the other genre when i play games.

When i see so called ''Princess'' A.K.A. Damsel in Distress i just go with it.
But recently i have been thinking about the role of woman in games.I started thinking about
it when i played Mirrors edge,a game that i really like as it tried something new with the whole
female protagonist.

But i need to talk about the history of woman in gaming before i start.
Lets start a game which everyone is familiar.Super Mario Bros.
The original NES classic that came packaged with the NES.Being one of the first games for the
NES it was also one of the first games on the NES that had a woman it it.

Princess Peach the princess of the Mushroom kingdom has been kidnapped by the BIG BAD Bowser
and only a plumber can save her.That's fine and dandy since she is the ''Damsel in Distress''
but their is a problem with that.

The Problem: She is just a justification for my character to go through several lands just to save her.
She doesn't have any personality,she doesn't have any power (after all she is a princess) she doesn't so

We could just replace her with a shack of gold and it would have the same effect.
The situation changed somewhat in the sequels or the other games with the princess fighting
along side Mario as early as Super Mario bros 2.She has somewhat personality and a little power on her hand but the situation is still the same in the sequels.Princess gets captures,Go save her.

This doesn't qualify just too the Mario series.In Legend of Zelda you do the same thing,Go save a princess so you can do combine your triangle thingy or something.
In Ghosts and goblins? Yap.
Double dragon?You sure do.
Dragons lair? Take a guess

An interesting game i would like to talk about too is Metroid for the NES.During the game you controlled
Samus Aran,a female bounty hunter,but you didn't know that until the end of the game.She was
one of the few female protagonists that was actually independent.Its the one exception in the NES/SNES
/GENESIS era.But the problem with her is that during the course of the games she remained kinda bland a dull as a character.I cit that to the fact that she doesn't meat humans a lot so she doesn't have anyone to show her personality.

So OK i showed that most woman in that Era were mostly just an object that you saved.
Lets now look the newer generations.Surely they must have become more independent.

Well yes they have become more independent but i think that when we overbeated the problem of
''I'm just an object/Justification'' we Bumped into one other problem.

The first problem is that they are JUST DULL CHARACTERS.The same problem that most male Video game heroes have.

Lets look a game like Tomb Raider,the game that made a revolution in gaming with a female protagonist
that was independent.In the game you play as a heroine going around stealing treasures from temples
and killing villains that are probably trying to do the same.
Oh man...that sounds familiar.
Uncharted:A game where the protagonist in the game goes around stealing treasure from temples
and killing villains that are probably trying to do the same thing...WoW...Desa ju.

That's the main problem.They are just some inhuman character that goes around doing stuff because
they feel about it.Lets look at a game like WET for one more final example.
In the game the protagonist (which i forgot her name) goes around shooting the hell out of people
while being an immature,selfish inhuman bitch which reminds me of Max Payne for some reason.

But before you start sending me emails about how many other female video game protagonists
their are,listen up:The situation has gotten better and there are many heroes i would like to talk about.


I think a really good example is the game portal.Although you never know anything about the character
except that she is a female.The game on the other hand is mostly focused on evasion and problem solving.Instead of having a BIG BAD BADDIE in the end of the game,you are treated with a Computer
that cannot do anything to stop you except to release some gas.

The whole theme of the game is balanced.
But lets look at some other example like in RPGs.Usually their is a female player in the game
that helps you defeat enemies and plays a role in the plot.
Hell I can think of many female players from other genres like say Aerith GainsBorough
Felicia Chun Lii and what have you.

So yeah as i said the situation has been getting better.But i have noticed something in those games.
Usually the female character is the most valuable.They are mostly the ones to cry or to be sad or to show more emotions then the male characters.

Lets look at Portal once again.A game where you use your brains to solve problems and to evade the problem rather than deal with it.Isn't the final boss female AND powerless to stop you.Doesn'T that show
that woman are portrayed rather weaker and more fragile than the male ones.

I kinda think that's it.
So that we dealt with Independence and the Dull Sex Bomb we fall in the problem of woman femininity and the weaker portrayal of them.

But I think i found a game where the female portrayal is almost perfect.

Here is Mirrors Edge,a rather outdated game compared to the newer games but still one of the most
memorable games of 2007-2008.

I dare to say that the game is kinda similar to the main theme of Portal.

Its mostly problem solving (find a way to get to point A to point B) while evading the enemies rather
than attack them.But i think that the main advantage of Faith ( the female protagonist of Mirrors edge)
over Chell is that she has a character.Not just any character but an independent,determined and like able character.

More over she actually does fight back.When necessary you can actually attack an NPC
and steal their gun.It was rather kinda different playing with a heroine that has a character better than
most Male heroes and still be able to fight back.

Now you may be asking is ''Where i am going with this''.

I honestly don't know.I just want to ask now where can we possibly go next.
As i said ,things have been better for female heroes since they are now taking more space in video games
and given more better characters.

In the end i don't think that we can make it better than faith,

But it will be interesting to see more characters like faith...
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Apparently the developers of bayonetta admitted that they where actually going to develop Bayoneta for the 360.
In their blog (which is all in japanese and i needed a translator) they said that innitially it was going to be exclusive for the
360 but some how it came to the PS3 as well.

Why did they decide to develop it for the PS3 too is everyone guess.

Anyways thats all funky and stuff but they also said that they,at first, handed to SEGA i think but they refused to do so.

There for they needed to do it them selfs.But whats shocking about it is that they admitted that their will be differences
between consoles.Because of the hard to develop hardware of the PS3 they said it will be slow on the PS3. :O

But hey i guess that makes for the anouncement of Star Ocean going on the PS3.

Clear win for the Xboxs Fans this time.

Star Ocean is comign to the PS3.
Apparently i got news that tell that Star ocean 4, a Xbox 360 exclusive,is been ported to the ps3.

Here is a picture from a magazine in japan telling that its going to be released in the PS3.
Also some other magazines have it but i cant find screenshots of em.

This is great news for Ps3 fans and bad news for the xbox fans.

Also i heard that it will have Voice acting in English and Japanases and you will be able to switch between this too when ever
you want.

But hey xbot fans look at the bright side.It isnt the same with Tales of Vesperia...ot is it.Only time will tell.
Photo Photo Photo

I remember back when Megaman 9 was anounced that i wonder what the series

had become in general. I havent playied any of the NES megaman games.

And that boils down to that i dont have an NES.Ot atleast i thought i didnt because after

a small raid at my basement i discovered that i ahd my own NES. W00t!!!!.

Now at first i thought it was a toaster but i immidiatly learned that it could play games.

I was so happy that i finnally could taste what you guys called retro gaming.

I havent touched any emulators because i am not interested in those things.

I rather prefer playing those games on the official console.

But that wasnt all.I discovered that i didnt have only one old console,I had Many.

Apparently my father had bought a lot of consoles and games for my 2 brothers which are 28 years old now.

The amount of consoles and games i found was mind blowing for me.

But thats not the reason i am here right now.

I am here to review a game.That game is called Megaman.

I discovered this game at hanging at a box (probaply collecting dust)

and i was interested in that once i saw the artwork.

Not because it was good but because it was...Well see for your self.

That is fucken terrible.I didnt realise that this was megaman because the title was the last thing i saw.

Once i saw that art work i convinced my self that if i playied that game the expiriance would really hard.

But than i saw the title (which reminded me of those prologe texts in Star Wars) and i thought i may play it.

I took my NES and my stuff in my living room and i hooked it with my Old TV from the 1988.

You see the whole Megaman series is not really good in my eyes because there are so

many games,most of em mediocre,for so many consoles.The battle network series was not megaman

megaman X series has gotten out of hand and the whole story line is messed up in my mind.

I putted all those aside because this was the first try of Capcom.

So you start the game with the HUGE megaman Logo as teh title screen.Me ,not impressed, hits start and the game

goes to the enemy boss select screen.Once i saw the names of the bosses i laughed so hard i couldnt

even look at them.I your wondered why HERE IS THE SELECT SCREEN.

*retreats because of laugher*

These names are so bad they are good.CUTMAN? ELECMAN ? GUTSMAN.

You heard correctly GUTSMAN.I could never think of a name like that even if i tried.

Imagene what hes brother's name.I think it would have been MUCHLEMAN.

They dont name bosses like that anymore.

But jokes aside i was really interested in this.Not because of the bosses but because you could choose

what boss you want to battle first,which may have been kinda new back in gaming.

I chose ,based on appearence , to fight Cutman First because he the least threating.

I warped down to the enemy territory (kinda like in star trek) and the game began.

I immidiatly was surrended by a feeling like i was playing something new.

The music was diffferent to what i have been hearing in normal games the graphics

where kinda good and again i had a feeling like i was introduced to something new.

The music,the gameplay everything was addicting andi loved every second of it.

So the gameplay goes like this: you choose a boss and than you go down to that stage to kill him.

But hold on if i can warp down into whatever boss stage i want why cant i go directly in the end.

It seems that the warping machine doesnt have enough juice to do something like that.

At the end you fight a boss but getting there was hard.Its boss had different envioroments and

hazards i needed to go through therefor i died a lot.And when i say lo i mean it.

Anyways i get to the end of the first stage.I was awaited by what looked like a huge phone and

than i entered a huge corridor.There where enemies and stuff so i after i killed those noobs

I got to my first boss CUTMAN.I can tell you already he isnt a gardener...What?That wasnt funny...

Get a sense of humor you twats.

CUTMAN was the easiest boss and the most fun one too kill.I junged the game from the first game and

i wanted to play it more.It was such a satifaction to kill him and end the stage that i continued playing it.

He used a Cutting thing that i had to avoid.

After that small win i realised i had another 5 guys to kill (robots).I chose Elecman for my second boss.

Immidiatly after i warped down the stage the music blew me away.The music gave me the feelign that

i had playied the game again somewhere.Than i remembered.


Back in 2000 me and my brothers had been playing this game on our NES.I even remember my brothers

beatting the game ,even through i dotn remember the ending.I remembered when i was playing with them.

all the good times the game gave us.

That wasnt all through.The stage was more detailed in graphics ,the level design was better, but mostly

the music was one of the best i have heard.

After the short yet awesome stage i came to the end of the stage again.There was a corridor like

the on in CUTMAN's stage only ihad to climb this one.It seems that in the end of every stage

you need to go through a corridor full of enemies.

Than i reached elecman.My encounter was short because i didnt realise i had 2 health bars left there for

he killed me.It was than when i realised i had CUTMAN's power.

The main machinism of the game is that everytime to kill a boss you get his power (kinda like it kirby).

Although i must question how does this work.I end the existence of one boss and than i magicly get his power.

No actually you get an orb once you kill a boss which is the power it self.

Its boss is valuebull to the other's boss weapon.For example ICEMAN is weak agaist ELECMAN's lighting

and ELECMAN is weak agaist CUTMAN's weapon.

Interesting but i have seen this before.Still this must have been something new back than.[/size]

Saddly i must end the playthrough here because if i continue like this i will take forever.

But continueing the review you go into other bosses and take their powers.Its boss stage is unique

and a whole new expiriance from the start.

I mostly found my self dying in GUTSMAN stage and ICEMAN STAGE because the platforming there was

made by the devil.You had 30 flying you needed to go through to get to the end.

And at one time i almost gave up on the game.

But one thing that i found out is that every time i came to a difficult part i would still continue playing it.

Everytime i was frustrated i would love to play that part even through it was hard.Than once i beated that part

i would cheer and continue playign it.The bigger the challenge was the bigger satifaction i had beating that part.

After you beat all the bosses its time for WILLY'S Castle and althrough i want to show you footage

of the castle sadly i cant.Not because that it was too ahrd but because i forgot to take screenshots of

the game and i cant tell you i wont be playing that game jsut for the footage ( and i dont use saves).

But i can tell you IT WAS HARD. You had to go throught 4 stages its with a difficult end boss.

You fight a bubblerobot,Willy and even A clone of your self.


Im not gona spoil you the ending too put i didnt like it.It was just megaman running down a road to doctot Light's

house and finding Doctor Light and some nameless girl.(I dont know her name)

So this was my review of Megaman.A game i absolutly love.

Now i used an emulator to get the screenshots but i can asure you i have the official game alogn with an

official NES.

I playied that game on my NES from start to end... and i still am.

Thank you guys for reading my review.If i get many views or comments i will make another review.

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So i was searching my basement for old when i found out i had a whole colony of consoles
in my basement.

I was impressed at the amount of consoles i found.
Apparently my father had brought a lot of consoles for my brothers both 28 years old when
they where young.I didnt do a lot of research but i will tell you the consoles.
You can tell me in the comments if they have any value.

1 Nes with 2 controllers and 6 light guns.Boz included and instructions.

1 Sega Mega Drive with 3 controllers.Box included

1 Atari 2600 i think with 1 contoller.I lost the box a long time ago.

8 famicons with the boxxes and 4 controllers.I am not kidding i found 8 of em.I think i have one more also

2 Super Famicons with 1 box and 2 controllers.

A Super nintendo with 2 controllers and a box with instructions.Also a ''Super Scope''

A Vectex (whatever that is) with a controler atached to the console.I have a broken box of the console.

2 Sega Master system all different looking ( propably slimmer version) with 2 controllers and a lightgun.

A VC 4000 with 2 controllers on the console.

A Atari Jaguar with 2 controllers the box and instructions

A Commodre 64 with 50 floppy disks in the box and a keyboard.

And finnally a Sega Game Gear with a half torn box Perfectly fine and instructions .

Now for the games.

I found a lot of consoles and a lot of games in the basement.Here they are.
They are on no particialr order or in which consoles they are.

Batman for the gamegear
Legend of zelda (the disk is gold) NES
Game 1 2 4 6 and 8 for the VC 4000
Megaman 1 NES
Alien vs Predator SNES
Starhawk for the Vectrex
Mappy i think for the famicon.
Soccer for the Atari jaguar
Super mario world SNES
Combat for the atari 2600
Sonic the HengeHog for the Mega Drive
Sonic the hengehog 2 for the Mega Drive
Darius Twin for the Super famicon
Casstlevania 2 :Simons something dor the NES
Casstlevania 3 NES
Cybermorph atari jaguar
Berzerk for the Atari 2600 and the Vectex
50 floppy disks for the commodre 64 ( i dont know what they are)
3 other famicon games on japanese
Pole Positions for the atari 2600.
Breakout for the Atari 2600
Super mario kart for the SNES
Pinball for the Atari 2600
Sonic The hegnehog for the Game gear
Actraiser for the SNES
Pitfall for the Atari 2600 i think
Alien vs Predator for the Jaguar
The Revenge of Shinobi for the mega Drive
A game called Excite Bike for the Famicon
Soccer for the Atari jaguar
A game gear game on Japanese.
Batman for the NES
Shinobi for the Game gear
Casstlevania Z for the Snes
Missile command a game for the Atari 2600 i think.
Axelay for the super famicon
Double dragon for the Master system
Operation Wolf for the NES
Earthworm Jim for the mega drive
Kasumi Ninja for Atari jaguar
7 japanese Super Famicon games.
ET the extra terestial for the atari 2600

And thats it.

The whole collection is big as hell.
I dont know how my father got the games or the consoles but he told me that a friend of hes
was traveling around the world due to job and sometimes bringed as Japanese games.
Also he said he bought the games on the stores with their consoles.I dont know but it but
I can tell i have a huge collection of games and consoles.