Name: Invokers Tournament
Format: PS4,PS3 and PSVita
I like MOBA games.
I really like MOBA games
Invokers tournament made me want to scrum my PS4 hard drive clean with concentrated industrial bleach to try and remove any evidence I'd even been near this absolute abomination. I'd love to be able to come up with something nice to say, I do like to try and be fair to games but this one I'm just going full grumble on it.
The question isn't so much what score to give Invokers tournament but how many times, without a break, should the developers of this game be forced to watch Uwe Boll's worst critical failure film while fire ants attack their genitals to show them comparatively what kind of abomination they've put out into the world.
Invokers Tournament isn't a good Moba, it's not even a good Game even without the Moba label. It's a huge disgusting Pay to Win pile of shite that somehow escaped onto Sony's store. This doesn't merely make free to play game seem bad it actively makes Sony's entire market feel polluted for it's presence and the fact Sony regularly put stuff from this festering pile of crap into the PSplus discounts section. This game is so bad having it's items presented as PSPlus discounts makes PSPlus look worse.
I suppose it's only right I actually point out what's wrong with the worst fucking game I've played at least this year. The convention in Moba games is simple, creeps spawn and go toward the enemies tower. You want to farm the enemies creeps by getting last hits. After you're farmed a bit you want to push your lane of creeps to the enemies tower and while the creeps tank the towers fire you can destroy the tower itself. Incurable Tetanus doesn't do this. Oh no, you have to spawn the creeps yourself. To do this you have to run out into the garden that have exactly 5 statues, and compete against the enemies to try and smash the statues getting the last hit. Once destroyed who-ever got the last hit gets a creep for their side, the creep then automatically paths to the enemies tower. It's rare if ever the creeps of each team will meet anywhere and actually fight. So the game boils down almost to 1 person of the 3 on the team trying to defend against the enemies push, 1 trying to get creeps onto the field and 1 helping the creeps push in and varying up the number on each side as needed.
Unlike most Mobas in Invokers tournament you don't pick a single character to play all match everyone starts as an "Invoker" and you can bring with you 2 rings each allowing you to transform into a different "champion" when your fury bar is filled. However your fury bar drains so most of the match you'll spend as a basic Invoker only sometimes transforming for a short while for a fight. Everyone starts with the same two basic "Champions" there is no weekly rotation, no hidden free way to get others. The only way to get more Champions is to grind. Oh and it's about a 5 hour grind to get enough for a single unlock, which there's no way to test out before hand so you might buy something you hate. There's no rental system like in other games you can buy outright and that's it.
With most other Moba game there is some kind of advantage or buff. In Smite it's the fire giant which gives a large attack power boost and healing / regen boost. In Dota 2 it's the Ageis which lets people respawn where they died after 3 seconds with no penalty. In League of Legends it's the Dragon and Baron Buffs. In Invokers tournament it's the tome. An item which hugely boosts the attack power of a single person on the team (the person who picks it up) with certain Champions moves this can mean your damage becomes a 1 hit kill and as a normal Invoker it's 2-3 hits to kill. The seeming idea being having the Tome lets you push easier. Let me say that again there's an item in the game which lets you 1 hit kill anyone and it respawns every minute or so.
Add to that unlike most other MOBA games where you buy equipment and items throughout the game in IT you don't, you get random loot drops after each match if you win along with a considerable amount of gold. You can literally go to the games store and buy more powerful items with gold and then start every match from then on with said items. No balance, no progression just whoever can buy the most powerful items gets to start the match more powerful.
Also because of course a product that shares its initials with a Stephen King Monster wouldn't be done there you have to buy consumable items to take into the matches and you can't buy them in match. To the games credit each day you drag yourself kicking and screaming into this vomit inducing slice of what , if I were religious, I'd assume hell is meant to be, it does give you a few item or two. The problem is to heal up in the game without a potion you have to stand by your own tower for around 15 seconds or so. Add to this some of the more insane purchasable items (which you can bring into the game in large numbers). How about an item that lets you spawn a giant high health minnion that can spawn poison clouds around it to stop people getting near? Or how about an item that spawns a freaking deployable turret that cuts down enemy creatures in seconds. You can literally win matches merely by spending gold to buy deployable creatures and just swarm the enemy base and spawn all the minions while the enemy is forced to defend.
As if the game wasn't bad enough it has its own version of killstreak rewards. Unlike in other games like say DOTA 2where a killstreak is a risk reward thing as you get more gold for kills but have a higher worth if killed. In Irritable Tarantula after your team gets 10 kills you can spawn a Darkoim which is a high health high damage creature that can help defend or push towers and clear the 2 lanes very quickly. So those higher stats people start with by spending more money can easily convert into kills as well. Oh and killing someone in Invokers doesn't stop their killstreak thing filling up.
Add to that that despite being next gen the game offers up graphics that honestly would make even the PS2 look at it as a mediocre title. The special attacks look so pathetic it's almost laughable.
Oh but this showcase of the depths of ingrained Smegmata on the industry still isn't done yet. You see if someone quits the match, there's no penalty for them other than not getting the meagre end of match gold. You can just exit the 30 minute long matches when you want and face no repercussions. Worse still if someone does, the game doesn't rebalance or fill the spot, not even with an AI character. No the game forces you to fight 2 vs 3 and you're lost, even in one match where an enemy went 19 deaths for 1 kill my team of 2 still lost . Oh but just like some fucking horror film the game isn't done with this you see it has to have one last giant fuck you to consumers and try to kill off yet more faith people have in gaming. You see when you die your equipment gets damage, if it gets too damaged it can break (and yes you can have the ring you use to summon your "Champion" destroyed if you're not careful) so after each match you have to repair your items. If you lost you get considerably less gold and at times it can cost you more than the match earnings to fix your gear. Add to that being 2 vs 3 means you'll likely die more having less combined attack power and the game actively punishes you for staying in a match when someone leaves. Let me say that again IF YOU HAVE SOMEONE QUIT THE MATCH, STAYING IN IT CAN ACTUALLY REVERSE YOUR PROGRESS.
Now onto the business model. It's so bad an anti consumer I'm surprised to not see Ubisoft, Warner Brothers and EA's name on it as some kind of unholy trinity of complete shit. If you want to claim other companies and just making sure they don't leave money on the table Irritating Testicles developers weren't even leaving the table they were taking that too just to make sure. Instead of say Smite which lets you pay a flat amount to unlock all the present and future characters Ingrowing Toenail makes you buy them all with gold at about £4 (about $6) for 7,000 which is enough to unlock 2 lower cost champions or just one of the more expensive ones. Or you can pay £8 (about $12) for 17,000 which can buy you about 3 with some change. Oh but the game isn't done yet you see you can also buy a £2.49(~$4) a month subscription to get priority match making and a bigger inventory as well as make items cheaper to buy with gold anyway. Oh you think it's done? Nope guess what they also sell skins which at the cheapest are £0.79 (~$1.23) and go all the way up to £5.84 (~$9). Let me say that again this is a game that is selling skins for some skins for $8-$9 each and has a subscription and still requires you to buy characters or spend 5 HOURS Grinding to unlock each one.
|This was taken from a video I did of the game. Yes the game is so bad it even doesn't work properly with playsations capture system.
The game has 3 main game modes. The standard 3 vs 3 lane pushing mode. A second Team King of the Hill style game without creeps and with random health drops etc appearing and it gets old fast. The final mode is a challenge mode which I can best describe as a cross between Diablo and Gauntlet but infinitely worse than either of them. You fight through the level clearing objectives and trying to survive with the limited pick ups and then fight something meant to resemble a boss. This earns you a little bit of extra gold to use but unless you have highly upgraded equipment or are damn lucky chances are you struggle with these levels which are just as much of a slog as the main game. Part of the reason is the general mechanics. Playing as an Invoker is pretty dull, you have two spells which can't be changed (a fireball and an ice shot which has a chance to slow enemies movement and attacks) the other things you can do are dodge roll and hit things with your staff Your "Champions / Summons" also have attacks but on some the cooldown is insane and with others using one attack puts all the others on cooldown meaning you can either transform back or sit wasting fury while the ability recharges.
I've just realised I haven't even mentioned the thing about the summons / Champions. Each has elemental strengths and weaknesses and if the enemy happens to have a summon that uses your weakness they're rip through you meaning you're reduced to 1 of your two champions / summons each fight if you want to stand a chance.
All the bullshit of the game might possible have been fine if the matchmaking worked but I regularly found myself the most experienced person on the team with two total beginners vs a team of 3 enemies all with top 5,000 gold summons and nice full sets of high end gear. The game doesn't do anything to match people based on total item worth or seemingly even time played so it very much becomes those who pay have access to better more powerful items and summons / champions.
The game even starts off with a giant fuck you to the player as reading this review, you've learned more than the game teaches you at the start. I'm not even joking here's the full tutorial for you to watch.
I'm gluten Intolerant. Invokers Tournament is the kind of shit I'd take after gorging myself on wheat for a week. It's digital gonorrhoea. Invokers Tournament isn't a game it's a monument to every shitty practice in video gaming that's appeared in the past 10 years. It's an active environmental disaster in the heart of the PSN Store. This game is so anti consumer and full of pure grade A 5 year old Smegmata that it's thrown my whole scale off and made me look back atZombies Zombies Everywhere and think "Ok it wasn't quite that bad". This is a game so bad if I had a Sheldon Cooper esc list of enemies the developers of this would be at spots 1, 2 and 3. This game is so bad that after the 5 hours I spent on this game I want to take those little pineapple chunks of on a stick at most parties and slowly insert some under the fingernails of the developer, without removing the cocktail sticks. This game is so bad even Desert Bus may be a better experience than it. If someone told me this was a game cobbled together out of free unity assets I'd actually believe them.
Do not Play it
Do not even install the putrid piss on your console you don't want this thing to have ever been near your account.
Invokers Tournament is an abomination that seemingly tried to combine all the whale shit of the mobile market and somehow put it on console. This is an idea that should have been aborted before finishing it and the person who came up with these decisions put into a mental Asylum to make sure such ideas could never come into contact with anyone stupid enough to try them out.
Invokers Tournament isn't a game it's everything every gamer has feared will be brought to console gaming from mobile; almost every anti consumer piece of bullshit ever shown on the Jimquisition; it's the existential horror of video gaming and it is staring into a void of sheer darkness and knowing that the darkness itself not just something in it is staring back at you.
Yes it's so bad It doesn't even deserve me making a custom score picture for it.
Oh and well done to the exactly 2 people who probabaly got the terrible joke in the review title. read